My Thoughts on "No Time to Spy: A Loud House Movie"

 

(This is the poster for No Time to Spy: A Loud House Movie.) 

 

There might not be any time to spy, but there is plenty of time to review No Time to Spy. See what I did there? Yes, that's right, I have just seen No Time to Spy: A Loud House Movie, the latest movie to come out of the ever expanding Loud House franchise. This may be my last post for June, unless I decide to put another one of my old writings, like that thing I wrote about Inuyasha and Sesshomaru's eyes, so I'm going to make this one count.

To be honest, I wasn't quite sure what I was going to make of this movie. I haven't seen The Loud House Movie, nor have I seen The Casagrandes Movie, and don't get me started on those live action Loud House movies that they've been putting out. The reason why I haven't watched The Loud House Movie is that I've heard very mixed things about that movie.

Some people saying it's bad, and some people saying it's just okay or below average. Not exactly something that builds confidence. I'm not crazy about the premise, how the whole thing's about the Loud family being Scottish 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿, and how they inherited a castle 🏰 in Scotland 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿, and then they end up being attacked by the castle 🏰's handmaiden or something because she hates them, and wants the castle 🏰 for herself. There's a dragon I guess, which she uses to try to kill the Loud family. It's a very weak premise, and I don't entirely think that it makes for a good Loud House movie, or even just a good movie in general. They would've been better off if they went with my idea of having the movie be about the Loud family being inducted into a Jon & Kate Plus 8 or 19 Kids and Counting-style reality TV show, and that reality show basically tearing them all apart. Not to be seem conceded or anything. Plus, the movie's a musical 🎵, and I don't like musicals 🎵 at all.

That's also what's kept me from watching The Casagrandes Movie, which I strongly suspect is also a musical 🎵 since one of the clips that Netflix put out for the movie on YouTube was a musical sequence 🎵 involving Ronnie Anne singing. But, speaking of Netflix, the other reason why I watched either movie is that Netflix completely ended password sharing, making it very difficult for me to watch Netflix since I don't have my own Netflix account, and we've just been using my aunt's over here at our house. So, I couldn't watch those movies even if I wanted to. That also means I can't watch Captain Laserhawk: A Blood Dragon Remix, which I've been wanting to watch ever since I saw clips of it on YouTube. Can't watch the Skull Island animated series either, which really interested in watching after watching Monarch: Legacy of Monsters Season 1. I wrote a review of that on my blog if you're interested 👇.  

I also unsure of what I would actually make of this movie because like with The Loud House Movie, I wasn't really that sold on the premise. I of course learned of this movie, and found out it was coming out from watching that short preview that they put out on the official Loud House YouTube channel as a YouTube Short. I wrote about that preview, and my first impression about hearing about this movie's existence if you're interested in reading. You can click here to read it, it's on my blog.

Then I watched the actual full trailer that they released at the beginning of June, and it looked a bit more promising since it showed that it was going to have the entire Loud family in it, and that it wasn't just going to be Lincoln the whole time which is what I was initially worried about when I saw the short preview that they released first. But, I still wasn't entirely on board with it because it was a spy movie, and while I don't have anything against the spy genre necessarily (there are a lot of spy movies that I like), I don't particularly care for the spy side of the Loud House franchise. I didn't really care about Lincoln's obsession with David Steele, and it seemed from both the preview and the trailer that this movie was going to be about him living out his David Steele fantasy, and it would feel a lot like an ego trip. It also didn't help that movie's poster show Lincoln with a smug smirk on his face 😏, almost as if he had the DreamWorks Face™ but more obnoxious.

But then they released a clip from the movie that showed the opening scene with the Loud family packing up and getting ready to go to some tropical island resort 🏝️to have Al and Myrtle's wedding 💍, and I actually liked what I saw. It was classic Loud House material. It didn't stray away too far from the formula, and there wasn't anything particular egregious that would turn me away or make me not want to watch the movie.

Plus, there was some solid jokes, like when Mr. Grouse shows up to watch over the house 🏠 while the Loud family is gone at wherever it is that they went to for Al and Myrtle's wedding 💍 (they don't actually say where they go), and Lisa shows him her new laser, which Mr. Grouse accidentally turns on and shoots down a satellite 🛰️ belonging to a foreign country with. BTW, can I just say, really? Finlandistan? You guys couldn't come up with a better name for a fake country than that? That isn't the only thing in this movie with a weak name, I'll get to that soon.

So, that kind of reassured me and gave me confidence. I was willing to give this movie a shot. So, what I did I think of it? I thought it was pretty good. It's a cute little movie. I didn't expect to enjoy it as much as I did, even though if you haven't noticed by now, I am a Loud House fan. Granted, I'm a pretty new fan, I just barely got into this show last year, when it was well into its sixth season. Now, it's on its eighth. I got into the show by watching clips of it on YouTube. It has its own channel on YouTube, and on this channel, they put out video compilations of different clips from the show from the different seasons. That was my first real exposure to the show. I knew of the show, but I never watched it myself until then.

So, I wasn't one of these fans who watched this show right from the very beginning when it premiered back in 2016. This show just wasn't on my radar back then. I was too focused on the presidential election (as were many people), I was into My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic (yes, I used to be a Brony), and I was focused on about the Independence Day sequel, Independence Day: Resurgence, which wasn't very good. In fact, it was kind of bad. 2016 was a bad year for me and a lot of other people, Trump became the president that year. At least we voted him out in 2020, now we got vote against him this year, in 2024, to keep him from getting back into office. Because a second Trump term would be even worse than the first. The man is really committed to being a dictator, and I don't know about you, but I don't want a dictator in this country. I don't want the United States 🇺🇸 to become the next Russia 🇷🇺 or the next Belarus 🇧🇾.

Anyway, this is not about Trump or the 2024 election. This is about The Loud House, so let's get back to it. Like I've said before, and like I've sort of alluded to this review already, Lincoln really isn't one of my favorite characters. I've always found him to be a really bland character, and I always thought that his sisters were way more interesting and way more entertaining. That's why I generally like the newer seasons more than the older seasons because the newer seasons have more episodes focused on each of the individual sisters. They started focusing on them more rather than just giving all the spotlight to Lincoln, who really boring at best and really annoying at worst. That's a big reason why I so unsure of this movie because I knew that it was going to focus a lot on Lincoln. Lincoln is the main character in this movie as he is in the show.

But, I did come away from this movie thinking that it was a good showing of him. This is the best that Lincoln has possibly ever been. Keep in mind, I haven't seen The Loud House Movie, so I can't comment on how he was portrayed in that movie. Granted, he does still do some really stupid stuff. Like, when he volunteered for the spy mission behind Myrtle's back, and tried going at it alone, which ultimately led to her getting kidnapped and him and the rest of the Loud family having to go out and rescue her. But, they do acknowledge it. They do acknowledge that he made a terrible mistake and that he was being stupid, and a lot of this was his fault due to him trying to play the hero, and trying to become a real spy like Myrtle while not understanding what it takes to be a real spy and a real hero. And he does redeem himself in the end, when he not only admits his mistakes to everyone, but also makes up for them by essentially sacrificing himself to save everyone else.

Of course, he doesn't actually die because he's the main character and this is a kid's movie. But, it was the gesture that counted. He at least did the right thing in the end. This is the most that a character in The Loud House franchise has done to make up for their mistakes beyond just saying they're "sorry," and it not feeling like they're getting away with it and aren't facing consequences for what they did or not doing enough to make up for what they did.

The other Loud siblings, the parents, and Al get their time to shine, and get some funny and cool moments, even if they aren't the main focus in this movie and are really just supporting characters here. Like, this movie quite possibly had some of the funniest moments involving Lucy, like the moment when Fifi (more on her later) falls into one of the graves that Lucy dug in the sand on the beach. Just the expression on her face when she sees Fifi all injured 🤕 and trying to get back up is priceless 😁.

Then later towards the end when Al jumps into the water 💦 to rescue Lincoln from the crashed ship, and Lucy says, "I knew I should've brought two coffins ⚰️," and Lori elbows her in the arm for being insensitive, and Lucy's reaction is "Ow." That was pretty funny 😄, and the kind of moment that we don't typically see with Lucy. They don't really do that much physical comedy with her in the show. Most of her humor is dialogue-based, with her saying some deadpan one-liner usually about something morbid or creepy. And in episodes where she’s the main character, the humor comes from her reactions to things, seeing the world around her through a gothic lens. But, they actually did a different kind of gag with her, and I like that.

Lynn Jr. got some funny moments too, usually involving her throwing stuff at Lori to help her practice at catching so that she can catch the bouquet 💐 on the wedding day 💍. I mean, Lori does end up catching the bouquet 💐 at the end, so I guess all that training paid off. Guess that means her and Bobby will get married at some point in the show or in another movie. And she does get a really cool moment where she beats up a goon after the family infiltrates the bad guy's lair, and they split up with Lincoln leading one group, and Lynn Jr. essentially leading the other. I kind of feel like they should've done more action stuff with Lynn Jr. since she's the strongest one of the family and has some fighting skills of her own, pretty much on par with Myrtle's, but they could always do that for the next movie if they do ever make another Loud House movie after this. Which I'm sure they will given the reception of this movie.

Lynn Sr. gets some funny moments in this movie too, especially when he has disguise himself and has to pretend to be a guard at the mountain facility. He doesn't get a lot to do, but what he is given to do, he makes the most of. He's easily one of the best dad characters in Nickelodeon history. Right up with there with Hugh Neutron, Stu Pickles, and Chas Finster. I'm sure there are other ones too, but those are the ones that came immediately to mind as the greatest. And Lynn Sr. is one of the greats as far as cartoon dads go.

But, the real MVP here is definitely Myrtle. This was really her movie more than it was Lincoln's in a lot of ways. She was the real hero of this movie. This was definitely a great showcase for her and once again proved how great of a character she truly is, as they definitely made her look like a badass. This movie does make a good case for making an entire spin-off series about Myrtle, showing Myrtle's life as a spy prior to retiring and meeting Al. In fact, making a spin-off about Myrtle is easily a way better idea than making one about Ronnie Anne and the Casagrandes, even if people did like The Casagrandes Movie.

I'd watch that. They could even make it a Paramount+ exclusive if they want. And if not an actual series, mini or otherwise, they could do a whole movie centered around Myrtle, showing her during her career as a spy, one of her missions. Because the mission that we see her on in the prologue is just one of many. She's been on more than one mission than just that one, and has certainly faced off against many more villains that we haven't seen or heard about yet. There's plenty more material that they could do with her, plenty of stories that they could do with her if they chose to do so.

She is a character that is just full of untapped potential, and this movie definitely proved that to me. It's crazy that I'm even saying that because none of the other characters outside of the core cast, the main Loud family, has really made me feel that way. That they could carry a movie or a series on their own. No other characters, not even Ronnie Anne or Bobby even though they did get their own series and their own movie.  

Speaking of the villains though, they were alright. They served their purpose of being kind of silly bad guys and being foils for the Loud family. Most of the henchmen, like the guards were really goofy, and not meant to be taken seriously or be a real threat. Ham Hand was a decent idea, but I thought his name was kind of lame. They even acknowledge that his name is lame in the movie itself, and make a joke about it, which begs the question why they didn't just come up with a better name for him. I think Hammer Fist would've been a better name for that guy, and it totally makes sense with what he is, which is a big muscly guy with his hammer 🔨 for a hand, which he uses like a fist 👊. But, he does work as the muscle 💪, being this movie's equivalent to Jaws (the James Bond villain henchmen, not the shark movie 🦈 or the shark character 🦈 from that movie who also goes by the name, Jaws on some occasions) or Mr. Hinx.

But, the bad guy who I thought was the best in this movie is the main bad guy, who isn't the guy at the beginning, Dr. Rufus, but his wife, Mrs. Rufus. Who I guess is a widow since her husband presumably died when he got launched into space. We never see him again after the prologue, so he's probably dead. She was posing as a tourist named Fifi, although Fifi may actually be her real name, but she was posing a tourist who kept getting suspiciously close to the Loud family and to Lincoln, and kept popping up everywhere they were. I kind of knew that she was a bad guy because she kept showing up, and especially when she showed up at that restaurant, Rubiner's (named after the current showrunner and executive producer of the show, Michael Rubiner).

They really couldn't have made it more obvious if they tried. Maybe if you're someone who hasn't watched a ton of movies like I have, you probably wouldn't catch onto that, but once you're in tune with cinematic language, you notice things like that, and you catch onto things a lot faster than if you were someone who's barely watched any movies at all. Or read any fiction ever because it isn't just movies that pull tricks like this, it's books 📖 too. Where do you think movies and TV shows get it from?

But, I thought that she was just going to be another henchman, like be the spy whose job it is kidnap Lincoln and/or Myrtle by luring them into a false sense of security by pretending to be a goofy tourist who's a little bit stalkerish. But no, she was the main villain and I really liked that. I also liked that they didn't try to redeem her or anything like that. She's still evil and unrepentant by the end, although her and Ham-Hand both end up getting arrested and sent to prison. Lesser movies would've tried to redeem her, and forgive her for trying to kill the main characters. 

Oh, and we also get introduced to a new "cousin" of Flip's in this movie named Flop, who I'm not entirely convinced is even a new character at all. I think that this is just Flip being a shady businessman and assuming different identities and different jobs Rancid Rabbit style. Just like Flip back in Royal Woods, Flop assuming different names with every job he has, and he has pretty much every important job on this island 🏝️ that the Louds went to have Al and Myrtle's wedding 💍. Including, being the chief of police.

I'm sure there already fan theories speculating about how Flip and his cousin, Flop (if he is his real cousin and isn't just yet another identity that Flip has assumed) can seemingly teleport and be everywhere all at once, and have all these different jobs beyond just cartoon logic. My theory is that they're a bunch of clones. Maybe this was one of the experiments Dr. Linnaeus conducted on Flip while he was in Incognito Labs's captivity. She just cloned him a bunch of times, and those clones somehow escaped and ran amok, assuming different identities, but essentially doing the same shady things that the original Flip had already been doing.

This makes no secret of its James Bond influences. Even just in the title alone, No Time to Spy. It's clearly inspired by the title of the most recent James Bond movie, No Time to Die, which officially ended Daniel Craig's tenure as the character of James Bond, allowing the franchise to reboot once again with a new actor in the role as Bond sometime in the future. And the movie is just full of other Bond references and callbacks. The movie has a Bond-style opening intro sequence. You know the kind.

Lincoln wears a tux with an orange bowtie 🤵‍♂️ for most of this movie, just like Bond would, he orders a drink just like Bond would, only he's ordering Flippee, which is like the show's equivalent to an ICEE. I believe he even introduces himself in typical Bond way, saying "Loud. Lincoln Loud." The movie has crazy outlandish gadgets just like a Bond movie would, with Lisa pretty much being the Q of this movie. Then of course, the henchman character, the miniboss before you get to the final boss, Ham Hand, who, like I said, is just like Jaws from The Spy Who Loved Me or Mr. Hinx from Spectre. Still think his name should've Hammer Fist though. The fiction-within-fiction character, David Steele, who Lincoln clearly idolizes is supposed to be The Loud House's equivalent to James Bond.

In fact, the fact that this movie was so Bond influenced is what me kind of unsure of it, if I would actually like it or not, because I'm not a James Bond fan. I haven't really watched any of the Bond movies. The only one I've ever seen in full and seen in theaters is Spectre, and a lot of people consider that one to be one of the worst ones. I just never really got into it despite how influential it is. I'm always been way more into Godzilla than James Bond, although there is a bit of an overlap between people who are Godzilla fans and people who are Bond fans. There actually a lot of similarities and a parallels between the Bond franchise and the Godzilla franchise if you really think about it. The only way the Bond franchise could be more similar to the Godzilla franchise is there were two Bond movies being made at the same time and released months apart from each other in two different countries.

But, I'm not one of those Godzilla fans who also likes Bond. I've guess I've always leaned more toward Jason Bourne, but that's mostly because my family likes the Bourne movies, even The Bourne Legacy, which a lot of people don't like. I liked other spy movies that weren't really inspired by Bond, and weren't part of a larger series, and were just individual standalone movies. I liked The Tuxedo 🤵‍♂️ for what that's worth, although that movie was kind of inspired by Bond too. 

I liked XXX (pronounced "Triple X"), I haven't seen either of the two sequels, XXX: State of the Union and XXX: Return of Xander Cage. Although, XXX does have a scene at the very beginning (it's a prologue scene) that parodies James Bond, or pokes fun at James Bond. And then later on, they do another thing that's like James Bond, where Xander Cage has a parachute 🪂 that's colored like the American flag 🇺🇸 just like how in one of the older Bond movies, Bond had a parachute 🪂 that was colored like the British flag 🇬🇧.

I liked The Man from UNCLE, and that other spy movie that Guy Ritchie made more recently, Operation Fortune: Ruse de guerre. I haven't seen The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare, but I'd really like to. I liked Face/Off, which was kind of a spy movie, but not really since it was more of a cop movie since it was about FBI agents going up against terrorists. Or at least one bombastic terrorist by literally swapping faces with him. I liked Hobbs & Shaw, which was also kind of like a spy movie, but not really.

I liked Anna, even if my opinions on that movie have kind of soured since the Russian invasion of Ukraine 🇷🇺🇺🇦 happened because that movie's full of Russian propaganda 🇷🇺, even if it does end with both the KGB and the CIA losing in the end. Plus, the sexual assault or harassment allegations against Luc Besson kind of turned me off to the movie. Yeah, yeah, I know, "separate the art from the artist," but still.

I was able to "separate the art from the artist" with XXX despite its director, Rob Cohen being accused of rape by multiple women ♀︎, and suspiciously fleeing to Thailand 🇹🇭 afterwards. He pulled a Steven Seagal with that one, although Russia 🇷🇺 was Seagal's non-extradition country of choice. But, I just can't "separate the art from the artist" when it comes to Luc Besson since Anna is more of an independent movie than XXX was, and Luc Besson poured a lot of himself into it. Let me put it this way: There would not be an Anna without Luc Besson, but there would likely still be a XXX without Rob Cohen.

I liked the Spy Kids movies, which kind of count I guess, I mean the word spy is literally in the type. I haven't seen them in a while, but still. I know I said that I wouldn't mention spy movies that weren't part of a greater franchise or series, but I had to mention Spy Kids because how could you not when you're talking about spy movies? 

I haven't seen the movie, Atomic Blonde, which is a spy movie, but the action scenes within were more inspired by John Wick than anything else, which is why I categorize it as a "Wicklike" movie, the name I've given to action movies that have been inspired by the John Wick movies (there's four of them now) in some way or another. So, I can't comment on Atomic Blonde, although I do have interest in watching it especially after watching the behind-the-scenes documentary for it on YouTube, and seeing how much Charlize Theron trained for the role, and how much the action choreography she did herself.

You get the point. I tend to gravitate more towards spy movies that aren't really all that influenced by James Bond, or don't show their Bond influences too overtly. That's why I haven't really gotten into the Austin Powers movies since they were essentially parodies of James Bond. The only overtly Bond-inspired spy movie I liked was Kingsman, or at least, the first one, Kingsman: The Secret Service. Didn't really care for the sequel or the prequel, Kingsman: The Golden Circle and The King's Man. I didn't bother watching Argylle, Matthew Vaughn's most recent spy flick because frankly, it looked and sounded like hot garbage. Henry Cavill's hair in that movie alone is hot garbage.

That all being said though, No Time to Spy is a Bond-inspired spy movie that I actually did enjoy a lot. Probably because it's apart of the Loud House franchise, and has that Loud House charm. To me, this movie represents a different approach to doing a Loud House movie. Like, The Loud House Movie was one way, and this movie was a different way, and I think this movie's approach to doing a Loud House movie was way better. Mostly because it didn't have any goddamn singing 🎶 in it. It was just an action comedy, and that's it. It didn't try to be a musical 🎵 and be wannabe Disney.

It makes you kind of wish that they had led this one, and that this had been the first Loud House instead of that other one over on Netflix that people don't like nearly as much as this one. If only they came up with this idea sooner. They decided to make this movie based on what they set up in that Season 6 episode, "Pop-Pop the Question," where they delved into Myrtle's backstory a little bit and revealed that she used to be a spy for a living.

The writers of the show were inspired to write this movie after that episode, and thank God they did because this is quite possibly the best Loud House movie so far. And yes, I do mean just Loud House here. The Casagrandes Movie doesn't entire count since it's based on a spin-off. That would be like if Planet Sheen had a movie, and counting that movie as a Jimmy Neutron movie. Even if Jimmy Neutron himself wasn't in it. 

Or to use a more appropriate comparison, no body considers the Puss in Boots movies to be Shrek movies because they're spin-offs of Shrek and the characters from the Shrek movies are no where to be seen. Puss in Boots is the only Shrek character in these Puss in Boots movies since you know, he's the main protagonist of them. Though, I was quite surprised to see how positively received The Casagrandes Movie was too, when it came out back in April. I guess my prediction about it being the Puss in Boots: The Last Wish of the Loud House franchise wasn't too far off after all. I still think they should make Loud House movies that are actually focused more on the sisters.

I've written a full blog post talking about my ideas on how I would approach a Loud House Movie sequel if one was ever made, which you can go read if you want. Keep in mind, I wrote it before I even knew that this movie was even coming out, that it even existed. But, I wouldn't also mind seeing a Loud House movie in this vein but focused one of the sisters. Lucy is the most obvious candidate for that sort of thing since she's easily the most popular character in The Loud House besides Lincoln and Clyde, who surprisingly wasn't in the movie that much. That was one prediction about this movie I got wrong.

She one of the only three characters from the show besides Lincoln and Clyde that they put into the Nickelodeon crossover games as playable characters, especially the Nickelodeon All-Star Brawl games and the Nickelodeon Kart Racers games. That being said though, I would love to see a movie with Lisa as the main character, or Lola as the main character, or even Lynn Jr. as the main character. I just wish that they'd stop treating the sisters as side characters in these movies, and start treating them like the main characters that they are. The Loud House is an ensemble piece, it has more than one main character. The writers know that, and yet, they still made a movie mainly focused on Lincoln. Although, they did switch it up by having him share screen time and share the story with Myrtle, who decided carried this movie on her back, and is the more interesting and cooler of the two characters.