Movies I Want Brandon Tenold to Review

 

(This is a screenshot from Brandon Tenold’s recent video, which was a review of Killer Crocodile 2 🐊, which is a sequel to the 1989 Italian horror/adventure film 🇮🇹, Killer Crocodile 🐊. They were apparently filmed back-to-back, which is why Killer Crocodile 2 🐊 was released one year apart from the first one. Gotta tell ya, Killer Crocodile 2 🐊 sure doesn’t look like a 90s movie at all. It looks like an 80s movie. Probably because it was filmed in the 80s, 1989 to be exact, so it’s still technically an 80s movie even though it was released in the 90s. I guess Patrick Willems was wrong, Days of Thunder ⚡️ was not the “last film of the 80s,” it was actually Killer Crocodile 2 🐊.) 

Well, since I gotta my review of Tron (1982) out of the way, I can finally write about the thing I really wanted to write about this week: movies that I want Brandon Tenold to review. I guess I should probably explain who Brandon Tenold is before I go any further because some of you might be reading this might have this look on your face 😕 and asking, “Who’s Brandon Tenold?” Well, I’m glad you asked because I happen to like explaining things, at least in written form. I don’t like explaining things verbally, it’s tedious, people sometimes don’t understand what you’re saying because you have an accent or you’re just not good at talking, and you can’t go back and edit what you said later on. But, whatever, your speech is ultimately just air 💨 that blows away in the wind after your done talking. Your verbal conversations will not be preserved, unless you record your conversation or write a transcript 😉, you’ll get to remember them in your head and even then your memory will fade and you won’t remember exact details of what you said. So, it’s not a big deal, but I still pretty writing things out instead of talking things out. 

Basically, Brandon Tenold is a Canadian film reviewer 🇨🇦 on YouTube who mostly focuses on reviewing what are called “cult flicks” or “cult movies” or “cult films,” hence why his series is called Brandon’s Cult Movie Reviews. How do I know he’s Canadian 🇨🇦? Because he makes a point of saying that he’s Canadian 🇨🇦 almost every chance he gets. Also, he runs another series that I’ll probably talk about later…if I remember to 😬. He also resembles a certain fictional TV serial killer whose name starts with a D and ends with an R. Though, he doesn’t get reminded of that as much as he did when he first started out. A cult film—for those that don’t know—is basically any film that was either hated or ignored when it first came out, but overtime managed to gain dedicated following, an audience, or fanbase that still likes it, talks about it, references it, and jokes about it, even as it’s forgotten or ignored by the mainstream. 

 

They can really be anything, they can action movies, sci-fi movies, fantasy movies, horror movies, animated movies, foreign films, you name it. Even dramas can be cult films as well. Though, the kind Brandon tends focus on are sci-fi, horror, fantasy, or action, with the majority being horror. Horror seems to be Brandon’s favorite genre, which is why he’s dedicated at least three or four documentaries to the horror genre. And they are legit documentaries, they’re not some so-called “documentaries” on YouTube where they’re just longer form YouTube videos with a person narrating over a sideshow or over video clips. They actually do interviews with people, like in-person sit down interviews, and managed to score some pretty big name celebrities associated with the horror genre. 

Cult films can also be of any size or budget, like they can be big budget, mid budget, or low budget. They also don’t necessarily have to be good movies either as many bad movies have developed cult followings over the years simply on the basis of them being “so bad it’s good,” meaning that they’re bad in an entertaining way. Like, their glaring flaws make them entertaining, and by entertaining, I mean funny 😆. That’s usually what “so bad it’s good” entails, the movie is bad but it’s bad in a funny way that makes you laugh 😆. Brandon started out his career as a content creator mainly focusing on these type of cult flicks, movies that are poorly made but also funny 😆 because of how poorly made they are. Though his very first review (as far as I know) was of Barbarella (1968), a movie doesn’t qualify as a “so bad it’s good,” and is generally considered a genuine cult classic, meaning that it’s good 👍. 

 

Some times, he would review bad movies that are just bad and not entertaining. One of the earliest examples of this was A*P*E, a 1976 South Korean monster film 🇰🇷 that was meant to cash-in on King Kong (1976) 🤑. He reviewed another King Kong ripoff/knock off before A*P*E called The Mighty Peking Man, which was a Hong Kong production 🇭🇰 made by the famous Shaw Brothers Studio. *Spoiler alert ⚠️ * he liked Mighty Peking Man more than A*P*E. Another early example of a movie that he reviewed that was bad bad and had no entertainment value was another King Kong ripoff, although this one was arguably more of a parody, Queen Kong, which was a British movie 🇬🇧 and was, as the title might suggest, meant to be a genderbent version of King Kong. Even down to the giant ape having a human male companion/love interest ♂︎❤️ rather than a female one ♀︎ like in King Kong since the ape is female ♀︎ in Queen Kong. 

 

Would’ve been kind of interesting if they kept the human companion/love interest ❤️ female ♀︎ then they could’ve made a lesbian version of King Kong ⚢. Or make the human male ♂︎ but still keep the ape male ♂︎ and then you could have a gay version of King Kong ⚣. I’m coming up with better ideas for parodies/exploitation movies than the people who actually made Queen Kong. BTW, there is a gay yeti movie ⚣ called Yeti: A Love Story ❤️, would’ve been better if it was actually called Yeti: A Gay Love Story ⚣❤️, and I thought it was for many years, but no, it’s just called Yeti: A Love Story ❤️. I mean, it already has a schlocky premise, so why not just go all the way and call it Yeti: A Gay Love Story ⚣❤️, why even hide the fact that it’s a gay romance movie ⚣❤️? I mean, technically it falls into the category of “gay horror ⚣,” but you know what I mean, it’s about a guy ♂︎ falling in love 🥰 with a yeti, a male yeti ♂︎ (hence it’s a gay romance ⚣❤️), the whole movie is about them becoming lovers ❤️…kind of. According to the one review I saw of this movie, the romance part ❤️ makes so little of the movie’s plot and runtime that calling it Yeti: A Love Story ❤️ or even Yeti: A Gay Love Story ⚣❤️ is kind of false advertising. 

 

There is a gay yeti ⚣ yes, a gay guy ⚣ does end up falling in love with the gay yeti ⚣ 😍 and even gets impregnated by him (yes, a guy ♂︎ gets a pregnant with a baby yeti in this movie 🫃), but only after getting raped by him, I guess, the plot synopsis on Wikipedia isn’t clear at what point the two fall in love 🥰. All it says that there’s this cult involved that worships a yeti called The Children of the Yeti, and the yeti they worship is apparently the last of his kind, and they sacrifice the main characters to that yeti, and what that sacrifice entails is the yeti raping them. Of course, since it’s a gay yeti ⚣, all of the victims are men ♂︎, including the main character, whose name is Adam. And some point, he becomes attracted to the yeti and him and the yeti become actual lovers 🥰, despite Adam himself being of the victims being sacrifice and presumably getting sodomized by the yeti at some point which is how he got pregnant 🫃. And in case you don’t know what the word “sodomy” means, it means he took it up the butt 🍑. 

 

In fact, him getting pregnant 🫃 was part of a prophecy in a Nepalese scroll 🇳🇵📜 called The Book of Yeti (yes, really), which states that fate of a yeti is tied to the love ❤️ they give through sodomy, meaning whoever they have anal sex with. And Adam is the one who the yeti chose and had anal sex with, so now Adam is having the yeti’s baby and is saving the species from extinction. This whole lore surrounding the yeti and the prophecy suggests that these yetis are an all-male species ♂︎ and they can reproduce without a female mate ♀︎, and can in fact, impregnate males ♂︎, mostly just human males ♂︎ since human males ♂︎ seem to be tied their reproductive process. The whole sodomy thing really only applies to men ♂︎, especially if the yeti reproduced with women ♀︎, then it wouldn’t do it in the butt 🍑. Which begs the question, how did things reproduce before humans were a thing? It’s one of those things you shouldn’t think about too much or else it’ll just unravel and fall apart upon the slightest bit of scrutiny. The movie is supposed to be a parody of both King Kong and Brokeback Mountain ⛰️, which is why it involves sacrifice, people worshipping the yeti, and why it features gay characters ⚣ and involves gay romance ⚣❤️ (as well as gay sex ⚣). It’s like the people who made this movie took those two movies, threw them into a blender, mixed them together, and got this abomination. But, the fact that the yeti actually rapes people in this movie does make it even more Stockholm Syndrome-y when the guy ♂︎ falls in love with him 🥰 than King Kong was. At least, the 1976 version of King Kong, where the woman ♀︎ actually lusts after King Kong and some of that swinging King Kong penis 🍆, and her and King Kong actually kind of become lovers 🥰 to some degree. 

 

It was released by Troma Entertainment, no surprise there, and it even has a sequel, Another Yeti: A Love Story ❤️: Life on the Streets. And from what it seems, people like it more than the first one, most because it’s more professionally made than the first one, which was pretty much amateur hour. It looked less like a real movie, a real feature film that would distributed by a minor studio like Troma, and more like someone’s home movies since it was shot on a consumer grade camcorder 📹, made by people who had little-to-no experience making movies. While Another Yeti: A Love Story ❤️: Life on the Streets looked and felt more like a real movie and better put together than Yeti: A Love Story ❤️ because the people who made it had gained a lot more experience since making the first one. It’s still not a “good movie,” but it is still leagues better than the first one from 2006. I only know about that movie because the YouTuber Bill Wurster AKA Zazubaar mentioned it a few times in one of his podcasts  🎙️ (either The Sons of Serizawa or The Demons From Outer Space) and made a video about it as part of a bet he made with his friend, Dylan McCandless AKA Superdm64. I hope that’s the correct spelling for his name, is it Dillion or Dylan? I haven’t watched these guys ♂︎ in a long time, so I’m not entirely sure. I’m pretty sure it’s Dylan. Bill lost the bet, and as punishment for losing the bet, he had to review Yeti: A Love Story ❤️. He hated it as you can imagine. Maybe that’s a movie Brandon could consider reviewing too speaking of movies he could review, though it’s not one I’m personally requesting. 

From there, he reviewed many more bad bad movies like Starcrash II, War of the Robots, Things, Mystery on Monster Island, Creepshow 3, H.G. Wells’s The Shape of Things to Come, The Story of Chinese Gods, Rat Pfink a Boo Boo, Savior of the Earth 🌏 AKA Korean Tron 🇰🇷, and Space Thunder Kids. Most of the movie he considers “bad bad” rather than “good bad” are movies that are either boring or annoying. Sometimes both. They’re movies that either put you to sleep 🥱 or make your blood 🩸 boil 🤬. But, he has largely moved away from reviewing bad movies that are just bad, and has mostly just stuck to reviewing bad movies that are “so bad they’re good.” But, he does shake things up every once in a while by reviewing movies that are genuinely good and can be enjoyed unironically rather than just reviewing movies that can only be enjoyed ironically. He’s been doing that a lot more recently than not, shifting his channel from being yet another film review channel that just reviews bad movies to make fun of them, but a channel dedicated to cult flicks of all shapes and sizes, regardless of quality. 

He also used to kind of have a cut off date kind of like Nostalgia Critic to where he would only really cover movies from the 1950s up to the 1990s, and while he does largely still do that, Brandon has branched out and done movies from the 2000s and even a couple from the 2010s. Who wants to bet that if his show goes on long enough, he’ll start covering movies from the 2020s as well? He even did a movie fairly recently that was from the 1940s, The Thief of Bagdad. Also used to just do cult flicks that are more obscure and lesser known, but again, like with the years, he has branched and done more popular cult flicks that people have actually heard of like Super Mario Bros. (1993), Repo Man ♂︎ (1984), Meteor Man ☄️, In the Mouth of Madness, Shoot ‘Em Up, Virus (1999), Dog Soldiers 🐺, and Johnny Mnemonic. Okay, maybe not Shoot ‘Em Up, but it has big name actors like Clive Owen, Paul Giamatti, and Monica Bellucci and did come out in 2007, the same year as Live Free or Die Hard AKA Die Hard 4, Transformers (2007), The Simpsons Movie, Spider-Man 3, Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End 🏴‍☠️, Shrek the Third, Ratatouille, and Dragon Wars: D-War 🐉. And also Halo 3 if you want to count video games into that as well. 2007 was truly the year of third entries. So, it kind of counts. 

But, he mostly made a name for himself by reviewing kaiju flicks, particularly Godzilla movies. His Godzilla videos are definitely his most popular videos. Like the top five videos in his most popular videos playlist are all Godzilla reviews, and all of them have 1 million views each. His most popular video, “Brandon’s Cult Movie Reviews: TOP 10 GODZILLA FILMS” has 1.1 million views. This is where got the majority of subscribers and hardcore fans. They came for Godzilla, but stayed for everything else. He’s even joked about the fact that his Godzilla videos get more views than his other reviews, and even created a character to make fun of people who constantly ask for him to review a Godzilla movie, the Godzilla Ninja 🥷, which he plays and is a character who constantly harasses him, holding up signs 🪧 asking when the next Godzilla video is or demanding him to review a Godzilla movie or else he’ll kill him or cut his balls off. Neuter him for not reviewing a Godzilla movie. The character hasn’t actually appeared in any of the videos he’d done recently, but he does reference him every once in a while since he sees a character in a movie he’s reviewing that looks like the Godzilla Ninja 🥷. 

 

Of course, Godzilla isn’t the only kaiju franchise he’s delved into, he’s also featured all of the Gamera movies except for the Heisei trilogy by Shūsuke Kaneko, and he’s reviewed some of the non-Godzilla Toho movies like Rodan, Mothra, Frankenstein Conquers the World, War of the Gargantuas, and Dogora. He’s even done Gappa: The Triphibian Monster, which is a kaiju movie that was not done by either Toho or Daiei (or Kadokawa Pictures since Gamera the Brave wasn’t made under Daiei and Kadokawa now owns the Gamera franchise). He also reviewed Monster X Strikes Back: Attack the G8 Summit, which was a legacy sequel/self-parody of the 1967 kaiju film The X from Outer Space, which of course not made by Toho or Daiei. He’s even delved into the Ultraman franchise a little bit, which is kind of in the kaiju genre but also in the superhero genre since Ultraman is a superhero but he fights giant monsters (kaiju). He grows to kaiju size, that’s how he’s able to fight them. 

 

Though his only foray into the Ultraman movies has been those cheaply made Ultraman movies made by notorious Thai filmmaker 🇹🇭 Sompote Sands. Only one of those was officially made with Tsubaraya Productions’s blessing (it was an actual legit collaboration between the two), while the other was completely unauthorized and therefore illegal, mainly using unauthorized stock footage from actual Ultraman shows. He also an entire unauthorized Ultraman series of his own called Project Ultraman, which was shut down and suspended after a court judgement 👨‍⚖️ deemed he was violating copyright law and infringing on Tsubaraya’s copyright. Brandon mentioned all this his review of The 6 Ultra Brothers vs. the Monster Army AKA Hanuman Meets 7 Super Men. 

Speaking of characters, Brandon’s reviewing style is very similar to that of the Nostalgia Critic’s or any of the other reviewers who were once on Channel Awesome, until they all fled after those controversies and scandals started popping up about the company, all the bad behavior by the people at the top, as well as Doug Walker’s other endeavors outside of the Nostalgia Critic and even the decline in quality and popularity of the Nostalgia Critic relative to the Angry Video Game Nerd who has also had a dip in quality and popularity (especially after the Angry Video Game Nerd Movie) as well as but not as bad as what the Nostalgia Critic experienced. This is probably why Brandon was even on Channel Awesome at one point before he bailed out, quietly distanced himself from the people at the Channel Awesome, and shifted his focus entirely to YouTube, which is where he’s been ever since. It’s the type of reviewing style where a guy ♂︎ talks in front of a camera, while interspersing clips from the movie in-between the parts with the guy ♂︎ talking in front of a camera, and even narrating parts of it, and essentially reacting to what’s happening on screen in the movie and making jokes about it and riffing it Mystery Science Theater 3000 (MST3K) or RiffTrax style. 

 

It’s a review style that originates from the early days of the Internet 🛜, in the early days of YouTube, pioneered by guys ♂︎ like James Rolfe and Doug Walker, and it’s largely fallen out of favor in favor of video essay type reviews. But, Brandon is one of the few people who can still make this review style work, even in the current year of 2025. Him and Decker Shado, who is another great film reviewer who I’d highly recommend you check out. I think one of the reasons why Brandon’s reviews still work after all these years and what makes him better than the likes of the Nostalgia Critic, Angry Video Game Nerd, and Linkara, amongst others who still do this style of reviews is that he doesn’t get bogged down in doing sketch comedy and injecting his videos with endless amounts of filler and creating a whole bunch of characters and forcing in storylines that we don’t care about. The only character he’s created specifically for his show is the Godzilla Ninja 🥷, and even then he doesn’t feature him anymore. He just mentions him every once in a while. He just reviews the movie, tells a few jokes along the way, and then gets out. He’s a lot more to the point than those other reviewers I mentioned. He doesn’t waste your time at all, and I appreciate him for that. 

Sometimes, he does tend repeat the same jokes over and over again, like his review of Dracula 3D for example is one of my least favorite reviews for this reason since he kept repeating the same joke over and over again that it looked Sega CD game or a CD-i game or a 3DO game, or FMV game in general as it would technically be called since FMV means full motion video and Sega CD, Philips CD-i, and 3DO games were known for their FMV cutscenes featuring live action actors, even big name actors like Mark Hamill. And the whole joke of the video was that movie looked so bad, the CGI, cinematography, and green screen work looked so bad that it made it look like a FMV game. But, that was really the only joke in the video, and he just kept repeating it over and over again and it just got tiring. When he wasn’t joking about how it looked like a FMV, he was joking about how stupid the praying mantis scene was. In fact, whenever he brings up Dracula 3D, he only brings up the praying mantis scene. It left that big of an impression on him. Maybe that’s why he hasn’t reviewed The Deadly Mantis yet, Dracula 3D scared him off from doing anymore movies with giant praying mantises. 

I almost forgot to mention that he also does a separate series or a series within a series called Canuxsploitation-A-Thon 🇨🇦, which is a series he does every once in a while (like every two or four years) where he’ll highlight four Canadian exploitation movies 🇨🇦, on the count that he is Canadian 🇨🇦 and a proud Canadian 🇨🇦 at all. Not all of the movie he reviews for his Canuxsploitation-A-Thons 🇨🇦 are necessarily exploitation movies, some are just B movies, low or medium budget. He just calls it that because it sounds better than saying Canadian Movie Reviews 🇨🇦 or Canuxploitation and B Movie-A-Thon 🇨🇦. A lot of them though, do try to hide the fact that they’re Canadian 🇨🇦 and try to pretend that they’re American 🇺🇸. You wouldn’t believe how many Canadian movies 🇨🇦 are set in America 🇺🇸 until you watch this series. Either way, he does manage to build a good amount of hype from them whenever he does do a new Canuxsploitation-A-Thon 🇨🇦. 

 

In a time when relations between the United States 🇺🇸 and Canada 🇨🇦 are at an all time low, and many Canadians 🇨🇦 (understandably) hate us because of what our government is doing and has done (threatening to annex Canada 🇨🇦 and make it the 51st state), it’s good to know that Brandon has no hard feelings and is still willing to make content for all of his fans, regardless of whatever country they’re from. Now we know how Russians 🇷🇺 feel right now about having your country be hated by pretty much everyone 😒. Not the best time to a Russian 🇷🇺 or an American 🇺🇸 right now. I’m not Russian 🇷🇺, obviously, I am American 🇺🇸, I know with how I phrased that previous sentence, I made it sound like I was Russian-American 🇷🇺🇺🇸, but let me clarify, I am not Russian 🇷🇺 at all. I’m not from Russia 🇷🇺, I don’t have a single drop of Russian blood 🇷🇺🩸 in me. I am a full blooded American 🇺🇸🩸, I was born in America 🇺🇸 and I lived my whole life in America 🇺🇸 so far. In fact, arguably, I’m more American 🇺🇸 than most, since I’m Native American, I’m an indigenous person from the Pueblo of Acoma here in New Mexico. 

 

What I was trying to say when I said that was that it feels equally bad to be either a Russian 🇷🇺 or an American 🇺🇸 because our two countries are doing horrible things that are making the rest of the world hate us. Russia 🇷🇺 is at war with Ukraine 🇺🇦 and continues to threaten the rest of Europe, giving Europeans especially plenty of reasons to hate Russians 🇷🇺. Our current president here in America 🇺🇸 has done a bunch of things in his first 100 days that has made many Canadians 🇨🇦 hate us, and for pretty good reason. We Americans 🇺🇸 would probably feel the same way if another country was treating us the same way we’ve treated Canada 🇨🇦 under Trump’s second administration, if you want to still call it an administration. Some people would rather call it a regime than an administration, and not give it the legitimacy or respect that it doesn’t deserve. Trump has said repeatedly that he wants to be a dictator, and he’s trying his best to run the government as if it’s a dictatorship, and dictatorships are regimes, not administrations. Biden’s government was the last true administration we’ve had. Let’s hope that the government we have after Trump will be an administration once again.

With that lengthy explanation out of the way, I finally get to the main point of this post, and that’s recommending or requesting movies for Brandon to review in the future. While I have mostly been content with watching whatever he puts out, being introduced to movies I’ve never seen or heard of, there have been some movies that I either wanted him to review or movies that I’m surprised that he hasn’t reviewed yet. I don’t have any money 💵 to donate to his Patreon and request a movie, so this blog post will have to do. Here’s hoping that he’ll actually read it or someone in his fanbase will stumble upon and tell him about it and then he’ll read it. So, on the off chance that you are reading this Brandon, hi, welcome to my blog 👋. Feel free to check out my reviews that I wrote on here, including that one for Tron (1982) that I linked to at the beginning. I hope you liked the nice things I said about you, and I hope that you will at the very least take the movies I requested into consideration. I actually wrote down a list of the movies that I want Brandon to review, and the list ended up being way longer than I was anticipating, so I’m going to kind of break this into sections, mostly on genre and sub genre. 

 

I tried to come up with movies that Brandon would actually cover because when it comes to movie choices, he mostly stays in his lane, doesn’t really outside of the few genres he usually covers, like sci-fi, horror, fantasy, and action. So no romcoms or serious high brow dramas, and no animated films unless they’re anime or they’re for adults like Once Upon a Girl ♀︎, which he reviewed a long time ago, or Ralph Bakshi’s Wizards. Yeah, I know, Wizards was rated PG, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that it was actually made for kids, and if you actually watch the movie you’ll know that it definitely wasn’t made for kids and made more so for teenagers and adults. PG rated movies were different back then in the 70s. 

 

The PG rating back then was a lot more like how the PG-13 rating is today, where the movies given that rating were more so for teenagers and adults rather than for kids. The G rating was purely for kid’s movies back then. Nowadays, the PG rating has been soften quite a bit and is mostly just reserved for kid’s movies that the MPA is too lazy to give G ratings to, making the G rating pretty much obsolete. I mean, when was the last time you saw a new movie be released with a G rating? I haven’t seen one, unless I’m missing something, but pretty every animated kid’s movie released in the last few years has had a PG rating, including Pixar’s most recent releases. I guess it some ways, it makes sense, I mean when you have the PG-13 rating, what use is there for the PG rating over than for kid’s movies? But then you just make the G rating pointless. I wouldn’t be surprised if the G rating was phased out entirely and the only ratings we had left were PG, PG-13, R, and NC-17. 

No straight up comedies either, like Brandon doesn’t really review comedy movies unless they’re paired with some other genre like sci-fi comedy or horror comedy or even fantasy comedy, though fantasy comedies are way less common than sci-fi comedies and horror comedies. The only fantasy comedy movie that comes to mind that isn’t animated is Your Highness, starring Danny McBride, and a lot of people didn’t really like that movie. Brandon probably included. I’ll try to avoid recommending movies that are “too mainstream” for his channel.

 

He tries not to review movies that are too mainstream, meaning movies that are very popular and the vast majority of people have heard of before. He tries to stick strictly to cult flicks, and he’ll kind of skirt the line a bit by reviewing a somewhat more well known cult movies like the ones I mentioned before, but it’s too popular to really be considered a cult flick, then he won’t touch it. So, don’t expect to see any Alien or Predator movies on this list, as cool as it would be to see him review a legit Alien or Predator movie, instead of just ripoffs. Especially Predator movies since there really aren’t any Predator knockoffs out there, the only one that really comes to mind is Alienator, which Brandon already reviewed 10 years ago (can you believe it’s been that long 😱). 

 

Either that, or Without Warning which Brandon also already covered on his channel a long time ago, and actually predates Predator by 7 years. The alien 👽 in Without Warning was even played by Kevin Peter Hall just like how the Predator was in Predator. Don’t expect any Evil Dead movies on this list either, even though Brandon is constantly referencing Evil Dead in his reviews. Don’t expect any Marvel movies, as cool as it would be for him to review Ang Lee’s Hulk, no DC movies either. I could see him doing Man-Thing (2005) though since that was a low budget Sci-Fi Channel movie. No Jurassic movies (Jurassic Park or Jurassic World), no Terminator movies, no Tremors movies, no Blade Runner movies, no Nightmare on Elm Street movies, and no Friday the 13th movies. 

 

I’d be genuinely surprised if he did Freddy vs. Jason at some point, but the only way that would make sense is if he did the other Nightmare on Elm Street and Friday the 13th movies, since Freddy vs. Jason is technically canon to those movies. Especially the Nightmare on Elm Street movies since it’s mostly a Nightmare on Elm Street movie with Jason in it, as opposed to a Friday the 13th movie with Freddy in it, but it is a sequel to Jason Goes to Hell since Jason is in Hell at the beginning of the movie, and Freddy brings him back to kill the kids on Elm Street (in Springwood) so that they’ll think he’s back and will afraid of him enough for him to come back for real and kill some kids of his own. In their dreams 💭 of course. With those provisions out of the way, let’s get into it. 

I’m going to start off with movies that I’ve either reviewed or plan on reviewing in the future, starting with The Fifth Element, which is most well known movie that will probably be on this list. I know that I said I wouldn’t put any movies that are too mainstream, but if it is super popular and is becoming more popular as the years go by, The Fifth Element is still weird enough and still obscure enough for it to still qualify as a cult flick. It hasn’t quite fully broken into the mainstream, it has that cult movie quality. I did sort of used to think that it was maybe too mainstream for him to cover, but ever since Brandon reviewed Super Mario Bros. (1993), it made me think, “maybe he would review this, maybe there is a chance.” I even mentioned Brandon in my own review of the movie four months ago, in the section where I talking about the Russian republic 🇷🇺, Sakha AKA Yakutia, and compared it to the Canadian province 🇨🇦, Saskatchewan, the place where Brandon currently lives, to see which one of them was the coldest place on Earth 🌎🥶. You’ll have to read the review to see what I mean. But, I did bring up Brandon, and did say that I would like to see him review this movie at some point. 

 

If he did review The Fifth Element, it’d be the most popular and well known movie he’d ever done on his channel, and it’d probably get a decent amount of views just like the Super Mario Bros. (1993) review did or like the Godzilla (1998) review did. That particular review benefited from the fact that there other Godzilla (1998) reviews that were uploaded to YouTube around the same time like PointlessHub’s review of it and Jesse Shade’s review of it for JoBlo Network in his ongoing series called Awfully Good Movies. Though Brandon did beat them both to the punch and got his review out first. And it would be a pretty entertaining one, I can already imagine the kinds of jokes he could make about The Fifth Element, there’s plenty of things to make fun of in that movie, as good of a movie as it is. It does lend itself to Brandon’s style of humor. Also, I could imagine him getting annoyed by Ruby Rhod and wishing he would die at certain parts. Or maybe not, who knows? 

Since I mentioned a Bruce Willis movie on this list, another one that I’d like to see Brandon review on his channel is Hudson Hawk. I know I said no straight up comedies, but Hudson Hawk isn’t a straight up comedy. It’s more of an action, fantasy, comedy, it blends a lot of different genres and ideas together. For a lot of people, it didn’t work, Hudson Hawk bombed at the box office 💣 and was largely dismissed by critics as being nothing more than a Bruce Willis vanity project. Which, yeah, it kind of was, but, there are still people who like it, and it’s so weird and I hate to say “quirky” (but not in that annoying 2020s kind of way) that it is worth talking about. Plus, Brandon already reviewed a movie with Richard E. Grant in it (Warlock), so here’s another one, and it has the added bonus of also having Bruce Willis arguably in his prime. And if Brandon doesn’t review Hudson Hawk, at least you’ll get a review of it from me…eventually. 

The next movie I would like to see Brandon review is Dragon Wars: D-War 🐉. He’s already reviewed three movies from Shim Hyung-rae, or Hyung-rae Shim as he’s usually referred to as, Yonggary (1999) AKA Reptilian, Tyranno’s Claw, and Armicron in Outlaw Power, so it would make sense for him to also do Dragon Wars 🐉 next. Especially he’s already mentioned that movie in all the Shim Hyung-rae movie reviews he’s done so far as part of the introductory portion of those videos. Plus, it would fit in his wheelhouse, it’s line with the kind of movies he usually reviews, it’s both a kaiju movie and a fantasy movie. It has a giant serpent (two giant serpents actually), dinosaur looking things, medieval looking warriors in suits of armor that look straight out of Lord of the Rings, an evil sorcerer (kind of), a king fu and sword fighting wizard, and of course a dragon 🐉. And also some creatures that resemble western style dragons, but aren’t considered dragons called Bulcos. I love how the dragon emoji 🐉 looks like it’s holding a Yeouiju just like in the movie, although the dragon 🐉 in the movie held the Yeouiju with its mouth rather than its hand like the one in the emoji 🐉. 

 

I could see him thinking that the movie is boring 🥱, which it kind of is despite how action packed it is especially in that middle section with that lengthy battle in Los Angeles (no relation to the movie Battle: Los Angeles) that has so many explosions 💥 that it would put Michael Bay to shame. That would be the only downfall. But, there is still plenty of bad things in the movie that he would have a field day with and make jokes about. The script for this movie alone is terrible, it’s garbage 🗑️. The only decent part of the movie that isn’t that badly written or acted is the Korean portion 🇰🇷 of the film that’s set in 1507 and features entirely South Korean actors 🇰🇷 speaking Korean, which Shim Hyung-rae was definitely more comfortable with directing than directing the American scenes 🇺🇸 in English. Which begs the question, why wasn’t the whole movie in Korean and why didn’t just take place entirely in South Korea 🇰🇷. If Shim Hyung-rae’s intention was to appeal to American audiences 🇺🇸, it clearly didn’t work since the movie barely left an impression at all. 

 

If he could make jokes out of Godzilla (1998), Octopus 🐙 (2000), Vampirella (1996), Meteor Man ☄️, and other sort of boring and unremarkable movies that are not fully good or bad in an entertaining way (not that I think Godzilla (1998) is boring, I actually like that movie), then he can make jokes about anything. Plus, the main giant serpent throughout the movie, Buraki (who’s pretty much the main antagonist for most of the movie) looks really cool, and the movie is checking out and talking about for that reason. Speaking of Octopus 🐙 (2000), I would love to see review the sequel to that movie, Octopus 2: River of Fear 🐙 since that is a movie I did see as a kid. I rented it from the video store at some point during my childhood. But, he probably plans on reviewing that movie at some point, so I don’t need to work about that one. 

The next movie I’d like to see him do is Mimic (1997), Guillermo del Toro’s giant killer bug movie. He usually doesn’t review movies from popular movies, and when he does, he usually tries to focus on their movies that are lesser known, less popular, or even less well regarded than their more popular and well known movie. And Mimic (1997) is a perfect example of this, it fits the bill perfectly. It’s a movie that del Toro is kind of ashamed of, mostly because of how much the studio interfered with it, and the fact that they released an inferior version of it in theaters instead of his preferred cut. Yes, Mimic (1997) does have a director’s cut, I hope Brandon reviews that version of the movie instead of the theatrical version. But, not so ashamed that he completely shies away from it and pretends it doesn’t exist like some directors who start out directing B movies or exploitation movies. 

It’s also obscure enough to where most people haven’t really heard of it, but people who are in the know, know about it. It’s such a cool looking movie, and yet hardly anyone knows about it or talks about it. Perfect for his channel. It’d also fit in pretty well on his channel, since it’s a creature feature, it’s about people getting hunted and eaten by giant killer bugs that were genetically engineered 🧬 to kill cockroaches 🪳 carrying a disease 🦠 and can mimic the appearance of human beings. Hence why it’s called Mimic. Brandon certainly has experience with killer bug movies (both of the big and small variety), Blue Monkey is one that instantly comes to mind. Plus, it got two sequels, Mimic 2 and Mimic 3: Sentinel, neither of which was directed by Guillermo del Toro. So, this would be another franchise for Brandon to start that he doesn’t finish or finishes very incrementally. 

The next movie on my list is another one from 1997, The Relic (1997). It has a cool looking monster, one of the coolest movie monsters ever, and I want Brandon to review this movie for that reason alone. Plus, it’s not everyday that you see a horror movie set almost entirely in a museum, and it stars Tom Sizemore and I’d really like to see Brandon do a movie that has Tom Sizemore in it. He was one of the great character actors out there, usually in supporting roles and hardly ever the lead, but when he was, he killed it. Even if he wasn’t exactly a great guy ♂︎ in real life up until he died. In fact, from it seems like, he was kind of a terrible person. But, he’s one of the few instances where I can actually sort of separate the art from the artists. For some actors, directors, writers, and producers, it’s hard for me to do that, but for Tom Sizemore, it’s fairly easy. Even Jon Voight is another good example, even he’s a raging lunatic nowadays, I can at least appreciate his work before he became a Trump nut. And it’s ironic that I mention Jon Voight here since he and Tom Sizemore were actually in a movie together, Enemy of the State. They shared a scene together in one of the most pivotal scenes in the entire movie, and it was glorious. 

If Brandon does review The Relic (1997), I do hope that he mentions the fact that it’s based on a book 📖 that is one of many book 📖 in a long running series centered around a character named Special Agent Pendergast, who is a detective 🕵️‍♂️ working for the FBI, and who Tom Sizemore’s character in the movie is a replacement for since the Pendergast character is not in the movie at all. I don’t know why considering that the book the movie is based is the first book in the series, and had a direct sequel called Reliquary. So, they could easily just used Pendergast, but for whatever reason, they chose not to. Maybe, they didn’t want to be tied down and beholden to the books 📖 by having the Pendergast character in there, and they didn’t want to be a Pendergast movie and wanted it to just be a stand alone monster movie. Which is crazy considering how Hollywood nowadays wants to turn anything and everything into a franchise, something they can milk endlessly until it completely runs dry and stops making any money 💵. Maybe if there’s another adaptation of the Relic book 📖, then they’ll have Pendergast in it, especially if they decide to turn it into a series instead of a series of movies, which I could see them doing, but I would prefer a movie if they were going to adapt Relic (1995) again. 

 

Another Tom Sizemore movie Brandon could do is Red Planet. It’s an obscure sci-fi movie, not a lot of people haven’t heard of it, and Brandon already mentioned it in one of his videos, so why not? It’d be a chance for him to cover a movie with Val Kilmer in it since it’s unlikely that he’ll ever do Tombstone, or Batman Forever, or Top Gun, or Kiss Kiss Bang Bang 💋, or The Ghost and the Darkness, or Willow, or Heat, or Déjà Vu (2006), or or The Doors (1991), or Thunderheart ⚡️, or The Prince of Egypt 🇪🇬, or The Saint. He might do The Island of Dr. Moreau (1996) though, or Val Kilmer’s earlier movies like Top Secret! and Real Genius, but I would like to see him do Red Planet as well. 

Since I mentioned a giant bug movie, there’s a 50s monster movie I would like Brandon to cover that he hasn’t actually covered on his channel yet to my surprise, The Deadly Mantis. I’ve seen this movie, but it does look cool and I am intrigued by it because it’s about a giant (kaiju-sized) praying mantis, and I like praying mantises. They’re such cool and almost sort of creepy insects. They kill cockroaches 🪳 and wasps, that makes them cool in my book. They make for good movie monsters, and since Brandon already mentioned it before in one of his videos, he’s gotta it now. It’d be a huge letdown for him to just tease us like that, and not do it. If MST3K can do it, then he can. Plus, Brandon does have experience with giant mantises 😏. That giant mantis from Dracula 3D felt a huge impression on him, which is why he kept bringing it up in his review of Daria Argento’s other movie, Tenebrae. 

But, The Deadly Mantis isn’t the only 50s monster movie I want Brandon to cover on his show. There’s also It Came From Beneath the Sea, 20 Million Miles to Earth 🌎, Them!, The Giant Gila Monster, and The Killer Shrews. I’m surprised Brandon hasn’t done either It Came From Beneath the Sea or 20 Million Miles to Earth 🌍 considering how much of a fan he is of Ray Harryhausen, and he reviewed a few of his movies already, The Beast From 20,000 Fathoms, The 7th Voyage of Sinbad, and The Valley of Gwangi. So, it’d be cool for him to review those movie since those are most well known Harryhausen movies besides Beast, Sinbad, and Gwangi. 

 

Plus, it’d be nice for Brandon to review a better giant octopus movie 🐙 than either Octopus 🐙 (2000) or Octopus 2 🐙 (though I still want to review that movie). 20 Million Miles to Earth 🌍 skirts the line between being a 50s monster movie and a 50s alien movie 👽 since the monster in that movie, the Ymir, is an alien 👽 brought over to Earth 🌍 by astronauts on their way back from Venus. The creature is from Venus, it was found on Venus during the astronaut’s mission there, and they decided to bring back to Earth 🌍 for study, you know until their ship crash landed in the Mediterranean.  

 

The Giant Gila Monster and The Killer Shrews may not be as good as either It Came From Beneath the Sea or 20 Million Miles to Earth 🌍, but they are perfect fits for Brandon’s channel because they’re both public domain and they fit perfectly within that “so bad it’s good” category. Plus, he already reviewed the Canadian monster movie 🇨🇦, Deadly Eyes, which used the same special effects technique as The Killer Shrews, where they dressed up dogs 🐕 in masks and suits had them act as giant killer rodents. In Deadly Eyes’s case, giant rats 🐀, and in The Killer Shrews’s case, giant shrews. Okay, I know shrews are not rodents (they’re more closely related to hedgehogs 🦔 and moles), but you know what I’m saying. Them! is pretty self explanatory, it’s a classic, it’s a paragon of its genre, it’s one of things people think of when they of 50s monster flicks and 50s B movies in general, and you can’t go wrong with giant ants 🐜, especially giant radioactive ants ☢️🐜. 

 

I would also like to see Brandon cover The Creature from the Black Lagoon, Attack of the Giant Leeches, The Leech Woman ♀︎, The Wasp Woman ♀︎, and the original 1958 Fly 🪰 movie since there’s probably very little chance of him reviewing the 1986 Fly 🪰 movie by David Cronenberg. But, Brandon does always surprise me, so maybe he might do that one. But, it would be cool to see him to another Vincent Price movie after doing Dr. Goldfoot and the Bikini Machines 👙 and The Tingler. The same goes for the original 1958 Blob movie and its 1988 remake. There are a couple of 50s alien movies 👽 I would like to see Brandon review on his channel, and one of them is a Ray Harryhausen movie. They are: Earth vs. the Flying Saucers 🌎🛸 and This Island Earth 🌎. You could even throw Planet of the Vampires, It! The Terror from Beyond Space, and It Came from Outer Space in there as well. Maybe he could even do Invaders from Mars, both the original 1953 movie and the 1986 remake by Tobe Hooper. He mentioned the Tobe Hooper version in his two-part review of Lifeforce (which his 100th episode), so it would be fitting for him to actually do it. And he could do the 1953 original as well to compare the two. There’s a 50s supernatural/demonic horror film I’d like to see him do Night of the Demon (1957) AKA Curse of the Demon. That weird bat-looking demon 🦇 makes it worth covering on his channel. 

There’s some non-Godzilla kaiju and tokusatsu movies that I would like for Brandon to review on his channel. Most of them are from Toho, but a couple of them aren’t, and one of them isn’t Japanese 🇯🇵. You’ll see what I mean in a moment. I want him to review, Atragon, The Mysterians, Battle in Outer Space, Gorath, Space Amoeba, Varan the Unbelievable, The X From Outer Space, and Yongary: Monster From the Deep. The X From Outer Space is the one that’s not a Toho movie and Yongary: Monster From the Deep is the one that’s not a Japanese movie 🇯🇵, it’s South Korean 🇰🇷. It’s the movie that Yonggary (1999) AKA Reptilian attempted to be a reboot of. It’s an interesting movie to talk about, not just because it’s meant to be a Godzilla ripoff (Yongary was literally South Korea 🇰🇷’s attempt at having their own Godzilla), but also because the English dub is the only version of the movie available because as far as we know, the original film negatives 🎞️ have been destroyed. That alone makes the movie interesting and worth talking about, as well as the fact that the movie ends with Yongary dying while bleeding out of his rectum 🩸. I can already see the jokes Brandon would make about that scene.  

 

Plus, Brandon did say he’d cover it since he reviewed Reptilian, and it’s been almost 7 or 8 years since he reviewed that movie. It’s about time he do it. And maybe after being Yongary, he could do Pulgasari since he’s done a bunch of South Korean movies 🇰🇷, and it’d only be fair for him to do a North Korean one 🇰🇵, and from what I hear, it’s actually pretty decent, which is crazy considering the circumstances in which it was made. The making of Pulgasari would make for a great movie in and of itself, you could make an awesome Argo-style movie out of that story because it absolutely insane. As is pretty much any story involving North Korea 🇰🇵 and its leaders, especially Kim Jong-il, who was arguably worse than either his son or his father. I chose The X From Outer Space because Brandon already reviewed Monster X Strikes Back: Attack the G8 Summit, so it’s only fair that he talks about the first movie, the one that started it all. Plus, it has one of the goofiest looking and weirdest Japanese movie monsters 🇯🇵, Guilala. 

 

As for more modern kaiju movies, I would like for Brandon to review the Reigo and Raiga movies. They’re sort of in a similar vein to Monster X Strikes Back: Attack the G8 Summit, where they’re more parodies of the kaiju genre rather than legitimate entries in them, although Reigo: King of the Sea Monsters takes itself a lot more seriously than either of the two Raiga movies do. The Raiga movies go into straight up parody territory, they are full on parodies. Reigo actually tried to be a somewhat serious monster movie, but when that didn’t work, the director just decided to make the sequels straight up comedies that lampoon the genre. Still, these movies would go fits for Brandon’s show. Reigo has a pretty unique concept of a IJN naval crew 🇯🇵 going up against a giant monster with a battleship on open water 💦 (one of the alternate titles is literally Deep Sea Monster Reigo vs. Battleship Yamato), and it’s also sort of like Gorgo because the giant monster is a mom (or dad, if the King of the Sea Monsters subtitle is to be taken seriously) avenging the death of its offspring since the IJN crew 🇯🇵 accidentally kill its baby with their ship. Also, those bone fish monsters look pretty badass. 

 

I would also like him to review a movie called Demeking: The Sea Monster, which is about a giant snail monster 🐌, and is apparently a comedy. Like, it isn’t as comedic as the Raiga movies, but it does mix comedy in with the action/horror and is not a straight up serious monster movie. It’s kind of not hard to blame them considering that the monster is a snail 🐌, it’d be hard for anyone to really take that seriously. The only other monster movie that involves giant killer snails 🐌 is the one that Brandon reviewed years ago called The Monster That Challenged the World. The one with that funny scream that Brandon made fun of. But, Demeking is a pretty cool and unique looking monster even if he is just a giant snail 🐌. Those glowing eyes are what do it for me. I would also like to Brandon review the Heisei Gamera trilogy. He reviewed all of the other Gamera movies, so he should do the Heisei trilogy next. Especially since they’re directed by Shūsuke Kaneko, and he is going to be reviewing Godzilla, Mothra, and King Ghidorah: Giant Monsters All-Out Attack (GMK) next, it’s the next Godzilla movie sequentially after Godzilla vs. Megaguirus, and that movie was directed by Kaneko. So, it’d only be fair for him to review the movies that Kaneko directed before directing GMK. 

I don’t know if this counts as a kaiju movie or not, but I would like to see Brandon cover the 1976 remake of King Kong, the one with Jeff Bridges, Jessica Lange, and Rick Baker wearing the suit as King Kong. I mean, he’s already reviewed a bunch of King Kong ripoffs and reviewed King Kong Escapes and King Kong vs. Godzilla, and there’s very little chance he’ll review either King Kong (2005) or Kong: King of Atlantis (or that other movie based on the Kong animated series, Kong: Return to the Jungle), so King Kong (1976) is the next best thing. I’d be really interested to see what Brandon has to say about it considering he’s strongly hinted and even flat out said that he doesn’t like the 1976 King Kong movie, like in his one of his top 10 worst movies he’s ever reviewed list videos, he flat out said that he thinks that King Kong (1976) is a “pretty bad movie.” 

 

This is striking to me because there are people who actually like Kong 76, like Bill and Dylan I mentioned before, they like that movie and think it’s underrated. I’ve never watched the movie in full, so I can’t comment on where I stand on it. But, I would like to see Brandon set the record straight on where he stands on the movie. It would be funny though if PointlessHub ended up reviewing King Kong (1976) before Brandon did, because I’m sure Cody has intentions of reviewing Kong 76 as well as King Kong 05 since he’s already reviewed Kong: Skull Island and will eventually review Godzilla vs. Kong and Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire. BTW, still waiting on those vlog reviews for Godzilla vs. Kong, Godzilla Minus One, and Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire. Brandon’s already done vlog reviews for Shin Godzilla and Godzilla: King of the Monsters (2019), but not for the other recent Godzilla movies that have come out in the last few years. I know he’s been busy with his main series as well as those documentaries he’s been involved in, but still. Maybe after, he could do the sequel, King Kong Lives, with Linda Hamilton, Sarah Connor herself. 

As for other King Kong ripoffs he could do besides the ones he’s already done, there’s The Mighty Gorga and Konga. Konga is interesting because it’s about a mad scientist (played by Michael Gough) who mutates a chimpanzee and makes it grow bigger so it can kill a bunch of people who the scientist has a grudge against, but the chimp ends up growing too big and becomes King Kong size. But, even though Konga is supposed to be a chimp, when he does start growing bigger, he starts looking more like gorilla 🦍 than a chimp. The police even refer to Konga as a gorilla 🦍 when he grows to kaiju size. It’s like they stretched it so that Konga would look more like King Kong. Konga is also a movie I remember seeing as a kid, so it is special to me in that regard, though I only watched the part where Konga is sort of kaiju sized. And of course, I mentioned that Michael Gough is in it, and Brandon has already reviewed a movie with Michael Gough in it, Trog, so this won’t be any different for him. There’s one other kaiju movie I forgot to mention in the section about kaiju flicks, Reptilicus, a little 60s Danish monster movie 🇩🇰 about a giant serpent kaiju that can regenerate its whole body from one fragment, spit acid, and even fly, even if the scene where Reptilicus flies was cut out of the movie. 

There’s a few 80s and 90s movies I would like to see Brandon cover on his channel. I’ll start with the 80s movies and then work my way to the 90s movies, starting with the 1981 adult animated anthology film, Heavy Metal, based on the Heavy Metal magazine. I have seen Heavy Metal (1981) and it’s a pretty good movie, and I would like to see Brandon review it some day, especially since like Kong 76, he already teased that he would review in his review of Godzilla: Final Wars, since he named those two movies as movies he could review for one of his milestone videos and specifically could’ve done for his 200th episode, but chose not to in favor doing Godzilla: Final Wars. Well now, like Kong 76, he can do Heavy Metal (1981) for real now too. He could even do the sequel, Heavy Metal 2000 afterwards, even if that one isn’t an anthology movie like the first movie, having only one story rather than multiple stories. 

 

I would like for Brandon to cover Masters of the Universe (1987), since there’s a new Masters of the Universe movie coming out next year, in 2026, and it looks to be making all the same mistakes as the 1987 one as well as some new ones, such as casting Jared Leto as Skeletor, which is some pretty bad miscasting if I ever saw any. Plus, it’s cheaply made and poorly written and even acted in some instances that it’s perfect for Brandon’s channel and Brandon would have an easy time making fun of it. And it’s a decent alternative to doing Flash Gordon (1980), which I often get confused with this movie especially because of that theme song they made for Flash Gordon (1980), which sounds vaguely similar to Masters of the Universe. The next 80s movie on my list is C.H.U.D., a movie he mentioned in his review of The Boogens. I’ve never C.H.U.D., I’ve only barely seen the trailer to it recently after rewatching Brandon’s review of Boogens, and my only frame of reference for C.H.U.D. is that it became a phrase used to refer to right-wing extremists and anti-woke reviewers online. We call those people “chuds” now. 

 

Next one up is Ghoulies. I probably don’t need to recommend this one or request it since Brandon probably intends on reviewing it on his channel some day, considering how many times he’s referenced it in his videos and how frequently he does movies produced by Charles Band, who is second only to Roger Corman in terms of being prolific in the B movie scene. Speaking of movies that I probably don’t need to ask Brandon to do, Troll 🧌 (1986). That cool song in the forest 🌲 is enough of a reason to do that movie. I don’t think he’ll ever do Troll 2, since it’s a “so bad it’s good” movie that it’s penetrated the mainstream a little bit and kind of become too big for its own good, plus it’s not even a real sequel to Troll 🧌 (1986) since it’s about goblins and not trolls 🧌. Same goes for Troll 3 AKA The Crawlers AKA Contamination .7, that movie’s about killer plants 🌱, it’s not even anything resembling a troll 🧌 at all. At least with Troll 2, even though it wasn’t actually a sequel to Troll 🧌 (1986), you could say that it was kind of sort of close to it since goblins kind of look like trolls 🧌. 

 

Critters would another good one for Brandon to review, since there’s no chance of him reviewing the Gremlins movies since they’re a bit too mainstream for his channel, and Critters is the next best thing. He could even do the sequels to Critters as well after doing the first one. BTW, wouldn’t have been cool if there was a crossover between Gremlins and Critters, it could be called Gremlins vs. Critters.  Who would win? My money 💵 is on the Critters. Another 80s movie that would be interesting to see Brandon do is Black Eagle 🦅 (1988), since Cyborg 🦾 (1989) maybe too well known of a Jean-Claude Van Damme movie for him to do. 

Speaking of Jean-Claude Van Damme here’s a few JCVD movies that I’d like Brandon to cover: The Quest, Legionnaire (1998), Universal Soldier, Double Team, and Knock Off. That smoothly brings us to the 90s movies I had on my list. I already mentioned The Fifth Element, Mimic (1997) and The Relic (1997), but I also put Soldier (1998), the Kurt Russell movie that was a secret Blade Runner spinoff, Robot Wars, A Gnome Named Gnorm, Judgment Night, Trespass (1992), Freejack, Surviving the Game, The Hunted (1995), Tank Girl ♀︎, Lake Placid, Anaconda, Judge Dredd (1995), The 6th Day, and Deep Rising.  

 

Street Fighter (1994) and Double Dragon 🐉 (1994) are both kind of long shots, but he’ll probably do those movies too someday. Again, if he was willing to do Super Mario Bros. (1993), then he’d probably be willing to do Street Fighter (1994) and Double Dragon 🐉 (1994) as well. Those will make for some pretty good reviews, especially Double Dragon 🐉 (1994). The one that really is a long shot is Mortal Kombat: Annihilation 🐉, since while that is a “so bad it’s good” movie, it is perhaps a bit too mainstream for Brandon to do. But, you never know 🤷‍♂️, maybe he would do it.  

 

Judgment Night and Trespass (1992) are movies perhaps too outside of Brandon’s wheelhouse since they’re both action thrillers that are a tad bit more realistic and don’t feature any sci-fi, horror, or fantasy elements. They’re just about people getting chased by criminals after witnessing an execution. It’s kind of funny how similar the plots of those two movies are, except that Trespass (1992) is mostly confined to one location, an abandoned apartment complex in St. Louis, while Judgment Night takes place all over the Chicago projects, an entire labyrinth of buildings. It would be worth it just to hear Brandon talk about the soundtrack, which is the main thing people remember and like about the movie, not that the movie is bad or anything, it sounds like it’s pretty good from what I hear. So is Trespass (1992), that movie’s pretty solid too from what I hear. And then after that, he could do another Emilio Estevez movie, which is why I brought up Freejack, which is considered to be a bad movie by most critics, but, “so bad it’s good?” I guess Brandon would have to watch the movie to find out.

 

Also, Brandon has never done an Arnold Schwarzenegger movie on his channel, and the movie he’d mostly likely do besides Hercules in New York is The 6th Day, a movie that bombed 💣 and was critical panned upon its initial release, and represented one of the final nails in the coffin for Arnold’s career as an action star, at least for a while. His career kind of came back after he left politics, but it wasn’t what it was in the 80s or the early-to-mid 90s. He was a much older man by then after all, and not the fit bodybuilder he was in the 80s and 90s. He missed out on a period of the time in the 2000s when he still fit enough to still kind of be an action star, all because he decided to become governor of California. But, perhaps his decision to go into politics was a good one because his career was in the toilet 🚽 by the time he decided to run for governor. 

 

The action genre was changing around him, and he saw that he was a dinosaur and his time had passed. Rather than try and possibly fail to adapt, he chose to go into politics than risk potentially being banished to the direct-to-DVD 📀 realm just like Steven Seagal, Jean-Claude Van Damme, Dolph Lundgren, and even Sylvester Stallone did for a short time until he made Rocky Balboa. That’s probably where Arnold would’ve been had he not entered politics when he did, and when he left politics, he didn’t quite have a comeback like Stallone did with Rocky Balboa in 2006. But, The 6th Day was the straw that broke the camel 🐪’s back in terms of Arnold’s career as an action star. Either that or Collateral Damage (2002), which is another movie that Brandon should probably review, or I should review at least. The 6th Day was his attempt at doing another Total Recall (1990) type movie or even a Demolition Man ♂︎ type movie, and it didn’t work. Still, the concept of human cloning is always interesting in any context. That’s why Multiplicity works so well, not that I’ve seen it. 

These next ones aren’t 90s movies, they’re 2000s movies, but I’d still like for Brandon to cover them now he’s branching out to doing 2000s movies. The first one is Supernova (2000). He first mentioned that one in his Virus (1999) when he joked about one of the effects looking it was from that movie, and after seeing the trailer and seeing the actors involved, knowing a little bit about the troubled production history, it’s kind of too good to pass up. It has an interesting concept too, it’s essentially an Event Horizon or Alien Cargo type movie, which are the two movies that Supernova (2000) tends to be compared to. More so Event Horizon, since it’s about astronauts opening a gateway to Hell and facing against demons in space, but also Alien Cargo too I guess. It’s kind of like the 2000s equivalent to Solar Crisis ☀️, since like that movie, Supernova (2000) was a huge bomb 💣 and its director completely disowned it and distanced himself from it, even going as far as going under a pseudonym in the credits. BTW, Solar Crisis ☀️ would be an interesting movie for Brandon to cover also. 

 

I forgot to mention it in the 90s section. Next is Garuda (2004), a Thai monster movie 🇹🇭 which is about a bird monster of some kind. At first I thought it was about that aircraft from Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla II that attaches it to Mechagodzilla at the end to create Super Mechagodzilla, but it’s actually about some type of humanoid bird monster that sort of resembles the Hindu god 🕉️, Garuda. Hence why it’s called that. Next one is Doom (2005). I know Brandon probably doesn’t like Doom (2005), but I heard it isn’t as bad as people have made it out to be, and is kind of decent, especially because of the bait and switch with Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson starting out as the main lead only for him to get taken out halfway through and then come back as a full-on villain, something he’d never do in a movie today, and that first person shooter scene does make it worth it. I mean, it is a lot better than recommending him review Doom: Annihilation, which makes Doom (2005) look like a masterpiece by comparison. 

 

Then there’s The Cave (2005), which is a twin film of The Descent, which is a movie Brandon actually likes. I’m curious to see what he thinks of The Cave (2005) since that movie had a much bigger budget than The Descent did and features winged creatures whereas The Descent features wingless creatures. And since The Descent is probably too good for him to review, maybe he could review the inferior sequel, The Descent Part 2. Then there’s Timecop 2: The Berlin Decision, the direct-to-DVD sequel 📀 to Timecop (1994). I doubt he’d actually review the first Timecop, so he’d probably do the sequel since that one is more riff worthy…probably. Ghost Ship is another one, he even mentioned it in one of his videos already, I believe it was Creatures from the Abyss if I’m remembering it correctly. So now he’s gotta to do it. That opening kill scene where that wire cuts all the passengers and crew of the ship in half will make it all worth it. 

 

Speaking of Creatures from the Abyss, Brandon should also do Leviathan (1989) at some point. I mean, he already did The Rift and Deepstar Six, so might as well go all the way and do the other Abyss ripoff movie that also combined elements from The Thing (1982). Not Abyss as in Creatures from the Abyss, but The Abyss, the James Cameron movie about benevolent aliens that almost threaten to flood the Earth 🌎 with their water powers 💦 (waterbending 💦 you might say) unless humans shape up and agree to stop pointing nukes ☢️ at each other. Snakes on a Plane 🐍✈️, this one is self explanatory, it’s about snakes 🐍 on a plane ✈️, it’s a creature feature that takes itself seriously but not so seriously that it can’t have fun with the concept. Plus, it gave us one of the most iconic movie lines of all time and one of the funniest TV edits of all time. 

 

And then finally there’s The Host (2006), a South Korean monster movie 🇰🇷 which was directed by Bong Joon-ho, the guy ♂︎ who directed Parasite (2019) and Mickey 17 most recently. I didn’t mention this one in the kaiju section because the monster is not kaiju sized and the movie arguably has more in common with Jaws than it does with Godzilla (or Yongary). One of the critic quotes used in the US trailer 🇺🇸 as well as on the DVD cover 📀 said that it was “on par with Jaws.” I don’t know if Brandon would be willing to cover this particular movie since it might be a bit too high brow and “prestigious” for his channel, but I want him to cover it. If, for anything else, the monster, which looks cool. One of the coolest looking monsters in any film ever. 

 

Plus, it has comedic elements, it has moments of levity to break up the dark and gritty tone of the movie, and there things Brandon can joke about in the movie, especially since he’ll probably do the English dub (as he usually tends to unless he really has to use the original language track if that’s his only choice), and English dub, even though I really don’t have any problems with it, is pretty funny (unintentionally so most of the time) and makes the movie comedic than it already was. And it would be cool for Brandon to review an actual good South Korean monster movie 🇰🇷 after reviewing the likes of A*P*E, Reptilian, War of the God Monsters, and Yongary: Monster From the Deep if takes up my offer and reviews that one. And since I mentioned Parasite (2019), maybe Brandon could actually review the 2004 movie Parasite that actually is a monster movie. Though if that monster is actually a parasite, I don’t actually one. Another modern South Korean monster movie 🇰🇷 he could do is Sector 7, which is sort of like Parasite (2004), except way better. 

I’m going to conclude this post by listing off all of the killer animal movies that I want Brandon to cover, as well as some movies I forgot to mention, or didn’t have space for in the other sections. I already mentioned Lake Placid and Anaconda, but he could also review the direct-to-DVD 📀 and made-for-TV sequels to those movies, culminating in the third best crossover event since Freddy vs. Jason and Alien vs. Predator (2004), Lake Placid vs. Anaconda. Not all the sequels to Anaconda were direct-to-DVD 📀 or made-for-TV, the second movie, Anacondas: The Hunt for the Blood Orchid was theatrically released and had a decent budget and had plenty of big name actors people would recognize. The most recognizable actor for me in that movie is Morris Chestnut. 

 

Brandon has been on a killer crocodile movie 🐊 kick lately by review the two Killer Crocodile 🐊 movies by Fabrizio De Angelis, so I wrote a few killer crocodilian movies 🐊, both crocodile and alligator movies 🐊. Alligator 🐊, Alligator II: The Mutation 🐊, Crocodile 🐊 (2000) (the Tobe Hooper one), Crocodile 2: Death Swamp 🐊, Primeval 🐊 (2007), and Rogue 🐊 (2007). I wrote down a couple of killer shark movies 🦈 since surprisingly, Brandon hasn’t reviewed a lot of shark movies 🦈. Starting with my favorite of this bunch, Deep Blue Sea, which I actually reviewed myself already, Blue Demon which features Danny Woodburn and Jeff Fahey, Dark Water 💦, Megalodon (2002) (not the third Shark Attack 🦈 movie, Shark Attack 3: Megalodon 🦈 also released in 2002, the movie just called Megalodon, although Shark Attack 3 🦈 would be good fit for his show too), Shark Zone 🦈, Shark Hunter 🦈 (2001), Red Water 🩸💦, Dark Water 💦, and Hammerhead: Shark Frenzy AKA Sharkman AKA just Hammerhead, which stars Jeffery Combs as a mad scientist who turned his son into a shark/human hybrid as a way of curing his cancer…and also take over the world since he goes beyond just wanting to cure his son’s cancer and wants to wipe out the entire human race and replace them with shark/human hybrids (which is why he spends most of the movie kidnapping women ♀︎ and trying to make them give birth to his son’s shark/human hybrid babies), and is the first film in an unofficial tetralogy of Sci-Fi Channel movies about human hybrids, followed by Mosquito-Man 🦟 AKA Mansquito 🦟, Snakeman 🐍 AKA The Snake King 🐍, and Skeleton Man 💀. 

 

Then there’s a few killer reptile movies 🦎🐍🐢 that are not about crocodiles 🐊 or alligators 🐊 and a couple of killer arachnid movies 🕷️, a few of which were directed by none other than Jim Wynorski, whose movies Brandon has featured more than a couple time on his show. There’s Python, Pythons 2, New Alcatraz AKA Boa, Boa vs. Python, Camel Spiders, Arachnia, Curse of the Komodo, and Komodo vs. Cobra. The ones directed by Jim Wynorski are Camel Spiders, Curse of the Komodo, and Komodo vs. Cobra. I said “killer arachnid movies 🕷️” earlier because despite their name, camel spiders are not actually spiders 🕷️. They’re entirely different species entirely, which is why it’s better to refer to them by their order name, Solifugae or Solifuges rather than “camel spiders,” “sun spiders,” or “wind scorpions.” Not that Roger Corman nor Jim Wynorski particularly cared about that. I think Arachnia would be a good treat for Brandon because instead of using CG, they used stop motion to portray the giant spiders in that movie, and Brandon is a sucker for stop motion animation, even if it isn’t always as good as Ray Harryhausen or Phil Tippett.  

 

Arachnia aired on the USA Network 🇺🇸 just like Octopus 🐙 (2000) and Octopus 2: River of Fear 🐙. There’s another killer cephalopod movie that I would like for Brandon to consider, Kraken: Tentacles of the Deep 🦑, which is of course about a kraken 🦑, which is pretty much just a giant squid 🦑 in the film. I only remember that movie because there’s a scene where the characters are eating calamari, get it? Because the movie’s about a giant squid 🦑 (that’s referred to as a kraken), so the main human characters are ordering calamari at a restaurant before they encounter the big squid 🦑. There’s a similar movie called Eye of the Beast 🦑 which is also about giant squid 🦑 even though the cover on the DVD 📀 has an octopus 🐙 on it. It was put out by a company called RHI Entertainment, the same company behind the killer tiger movie 🐅, Maneater 🐅 (2007) and the killer primate movie 🦍, Blood Monkey 🩸, which I’ll talk about later. It’s about a freshwater giant squid 🦑 that lives in a lake, so I guess Lost Tapes wasn’t the only thing to explore a giant freshwater cephalopod living in a lake. The lake that the squid 🦑 lives in is Lake Winnipeg, meaning that it takes place in Canada 🇨🇦. So, it’s a Canadian movie 🇨🇦 that actually takes place in Canada 🇨🇦 rather than taking place in America 🇺🇸. This would be a good pick for one of Brandon’s Canuxploitation-A-Thons 🇨🇦. As for killer fish movies 🐟 that are not about sharks 🦈, we’ve got Devilfish, Frankenfish, and of course the Piranha movies, starting with the 1978 original all the way up to the remake and its own sequel, Piranha 3DD, or as I like to call it, Piranha 2DD since it’s no longer in 3D anymore. And you know what? Throw in Blood Lake: Attack of the Killer Lampreys 🩸 in there. It has Christopher Lloyd and Jeremy Wade, the River Monsters guy ♂︎ in it, so it is worth talking for those reasons alone. 

 

One movie that I forgot to mention in the 80s section was Razorback 🐗, which is an Australian horror film 🇦🇺 about a giant killer boar 🐗, it’s about a killer pig 🐗 essentially. One of the more unique animals to turn into a man-eating killer, besides maybe sheep 🐑 like in Black Sheep 🐑 (2006). There is a good chance Brandon will actually do Razorback 🐗 since his good friend, GoodBadFlicks already did a video on it, and it is weird and unique enough for it to be considered a cult movie, since it does have a significant cult following. The cinematography and lighting is enough of a reason to check it out, and review it. I plan on reviewing it someday myself for this blog. 

I realized that I didn’t add any dinosaur movies to my list, even though Brandon really does like dinosaurs and dinosaur movies. Even if the ones he tends to review for his show are often Z grade schlock. He has an entire playlist dedicated to reviews of movies he’s reviewed on his show that feature dinosaurs, simply called Dinosaur Videos. I don’t have that many dinosaur movies that I want Brandon to review, not counting the King Kong ripoff, The Mighty Gorga. The only one that I can really think of is The Eden Formula, which is sort of like an unofficial sequel to Carnosaur, it’s like the unofficial fifth Carnosaur movie because it uses a lot of stock footage from the Carnosaur movies (mostly just the first two), but is otherwise unrelated. I mean, it’s got Tony Todd in it as the main bad guy and Jeff Fahey and Dee Wallace as the two main leads, so it’s worth checking out and reviewing for that reason. 

 

Besides that, the only other dinosaur movie I can think of to recommend Brandon review for his channel is Prehysteria!, but he’s probably already got that movie on his list and will probably review it sometime in the future which is an frequently requested movie for him to review for obvious reasons: it’s a dinosaur movie, it has stop motion, and it’s produced by Charles Band through his company, Full Moon Features 🌕. There’s also Unknown Island, which is a 1948 film where a bunch of people travel from Singapore 🇸🇬 (back when it was still a British colony 🇬🇧) to an island full of dinosaurs, sort like Lost World, and the dinosaurs and other creatures were mostly portrayed by guys ♂︎ in suits, and footage from that movie was used as stock footage in the American version 🇺🇸 of Godzilla Raids Again called Gigantis, The Fire Monster 🔥. It’s also a very cheaply made and is often considered a bad movie, and it’s public domain. So it’s perfect for Brandon’s show. 

 

Oh, and since Brandon reviewed Blue Monkey and that was about a giant killer insect, I was thinking that as a consolation prize, he could review the movie with actual killer monkeys 🐒 (kind of), Blood Monkey 🩸, which despite what’s shown on the cover are more like giant killer apes rather monkeys 🐒. Apes 🦍🦧 are primates that don’t have tails while monkeys 🐒 are primates with tails, and the killer primates in Blood Monkey 🩸 don’t have tails, so they’re apes. It’s using that convention where people call apes 🦍 “monkeys 🐒” when though they’re clearly not, and are their own distinct thing. And when I saw “giant,” I don’t mean that they’re King Kong sized, I mean that they’re simply taller than the average human or known species of great ape 🦍🦧. They’re more like Gigantopithecus sized or Bigfoot/Yeti sized which is kind of what these things are, but supposed to be more like actual primates, rather than some kind of subhuman creature like a lot of depictions of Bigfoot and Yetis tend to be: not quite ape, not quite human, but something in-between. 

 

A couple of depictions of Bigfoot are not even primates or anything approximating primates at all. Sometimes, they’re aliens 👽 like in that one episode of Martin Mystery, where Martin and the gang encounter an alien species 👽 which locals mistake for Bigfoot, and has no eyes, big razor sharp teeth, and hair that sort of like the Predator’s hair. You know which one I’m talking about if you’ve watched that show. It even gives birth towards the end of the episode and Martin and the gang end up having to fight a bunch of baby Sasquatches, although these things are obviously not true Sasquatches since they’re aliens 👽 and not a type of primate. By the way, Martin Mystery, Canadian show 🇨🇦, technically a French-Canadian show 🇫🇷🇨🇦 but still. But, rest assured, the primates in Blood Monkey 🩸 are primates, a previously undiscovered species of primate tugged away in an Asian jungle…which is where the Gigantopithecus lived, it lived in Asia, in what is now southern China 🇨🇳 as well as Vietnam 🇻🇳, Indonesia 🇮🇩, and Thailand 🇹🇭. So maybe these killer apes are descended from them. 

 

Finally, there’s a movie that didn’t fit into any of the categories I laid out so far, Laserblast, a 1978 sci-fi movie about a guy ♂︎ who stumbles upon a laser gun in the middle of the desert 🏜️ and starts blowing shit up with it as he’s slowly corrupted by it and turned into a monster. It also has aliens 👽, who are who the laser gun belongs to, and they’re portrayed with stop motion. It’s the perfect candidate for Brandon’s show, and I’m surprised he hasn’t done it already. Well now, here’s his chance to finally do it. And of course, there’s always Frankenstein’s Army, which Brandon has mentioned a few times in the past. Maybe it’s about time he does it, and shows us what that movie is all about.

 

 

 

(This is the current poster for Brandon Tenold’s flagship series, Brandon’s Cult Movie Reviews. It’s also his current channel banner on YouTube. It done by the artist, hooksnfang on DeviantART, who has become one of Brandon’s main title card artists. Like, he’s one of the main artists he most often commissions to do the title cards for his videos.) 

 

—

Update (Friday June 20, 2025):

 

 

 

(These are the DVD covers 📀 for Alien 3000 AKA Unseen Evil 2 and DNA 🧬 (1997).) 

It turns out that there were a couple more Predator ripoffs and knockoffs that I realized. I can’t believe I didn’t think of these when I originally wrote this. I’m writing it now as an update because I could find a place to put these two movie that would fit organically with the other posts. Plus, I already left a comment on Brandon’s YouTube Post announcing his review of DNA 🧬 (1997) saying that I didn’t add that movie to the list. I should probably start with DNA 🧬 (1997) since that’s the more well known of the two movies I’m going to talk about in this update, and Brandon already reviewed it. DNA 🧬 (1997) is somewhat of a unique case, because while it predominantly a Predator ripoff, it does have elements of both Jurassic Park and Indiana Jones. 

 

The Indiana Jones type stuff is mostly at the beginning when Mark Dacascos and Jurgen Prochnow are searching for that beetle 🪲 that Jurgen Prochnow’s character, Carl Wessinger claims can be used to bring dead people back to life and cure any disease. But then, it turns out that he actually wanted to use the beetle 🪲 to resurrect a dead alien 👽 that the local Indonesian tribes 🇮🇩 in Borneo refer to as “Balacau,” and he betrays Mark Dacascos’s character, Ash Mattley and leaves him for dead. They even find a statue of Balacau in the cave where they find the beetle 🪲. This BTW is why the logo for the movie has a beetle 🪲 on it, the beetle 🪲 is what brought the alien 👽 back to life. 

 

Then, the middle of the movie starts feeling like Jurassic Park, as Wessinger has managed to bring the alien 👽 back to life using the special enzymes he extracted from the beetle 🪲 he stole, and is keeping it in a facility on the island (Borneo) with electrified fences ⚡️ and automatic doors and gates. But then, the alien 👽 escapes and starts rampaging across the island, killing anyone it sees, ripping out of their spines just like a certain interstellar hunter that we all know 😉. Even the control room of the facility where they were hiding the monster looks exactly like the one in Jurassic Park, and the entire outline of the facility looks like the original Jurassic Park. There’s even a black character 👨🏾 who looks almost exactly like Sam Jackson’s character in Jurassic Park, Ray Arnold even down to him having a cigarette 🚬 in his mouth nearly at all times, and he’s always typing at a computer 🖥️ and saying computery stuff. 

 

Then, after Ash and the CIA agent character, Claire Sommers destroy the facility and kill Wessinger and his goons (at least some of them), then that’s when the movie really starts feeling like Predator. Even down to Ash going shirtless and building various traps in the jungle, including a log trap 🪵, which is unless against the alien 👽 in this movie, which I will refer to as Balacau, unlike with the Predator (Yautja). The only thing that’s missing is Ash is covering himself in mud to hide from the creature’s thermal vision, though they don’t actually say in the movie that Balacau can only see in infrared. There’s even a waterfall scene, although unlike in Predator, Ash actually kills Balacau before jumping from a waterfall. He actually jumps off the waterfall twice, once to escape Balacau, and then another time to kill him. And as many people have pointed out, including Brandon, Balacau looks a lot like what the original Predator design looked like before Stan Winston stepped in and redesigned it to look like the Predator we all know today. So, this movie is kind of a peer into what Predator would’ve been like if they didn’t change the design. It probably would’ve been something more like this and wouldn’t have spawned a franchise and been viewed as a classic like it is today. 

 

BTW, that original Predator design has been made canon in the Predator expanded universe, as a separate species from the Yautja called the Amengi, who hunted and enslaved the Yautja’s primitive ancestors, the Hish-qu-Ten, or just Hish for short, thousands of years ago after invading their planet, Yautja Prime. Before the Hish rebelled against the Amengi, and overthrew them and retook their planets, and then hunted and enslaved the Amengi in return. This is pretty cool, and a great example of repurposing an old rejected design and not letting it go to waste. I’ll talk more about the Amengi in my Predator: Killer of Killers review when I eventually get to that movie. The movie is weird mishmash of different ideas, and has taken inspiration from many different sources. The Wikipedia page for DNA 🧬 (1997) says that it’s a combination of Alien, Indiana Jones, Jurassic Park, Predator, and cannibal films. The cannibal part mostly comes in the form of that tribe that Ash and Claire encounter on their journey to find the facility where the movie is being kept, although the tribe themselves are not cannibals. So, not I’m sure where the people who wrote the Wikipedia article got that idea. But, then again, I haven’t seen the actual movie, so who knows? 

 

It’s like they couldn’t decide on what kind of movie they wanted to make, and decided to just smush them all together, or maybe they did want to make a mishmash that was a combination of different genres and influences, and create something new out of that. And while that has been successful with many different movies that combine genres and have multiple different influences, like Dog Soldiers 🐺, it just didn’t come together for this one. As I said before, Brandon already reviewed DNA 🧬 (1997), and it didn’t disappoint. He even mentioned the fact that the alien 👽 resembles the original design for the Predator in the original Predator movie and that Jean-Claude Van Damme was going to play him before Stan Winston redesigned it and Kevin Peter Hall was brought in to play the Predator instead. I do plan on reviewing this movie for myself later on down the line. I’ll be able to since the movie’s available to watch for free on YouTube as several channels have uploaded the entire movie to YouTube and in HD quality some of them despite the movie, as far as I know, not getting an official Blu-Ray release 💿.

The next movie I’m going to talk about is Alien 3000, which is even lesser known than DNA 🧬 (1997) if you could believe that, hasn’t been covered by most of the big bad movie channels. It doesn’t even have a Wikipedia page, which is how you know we’re in for something truly special. That’s sarcasm if you couldn’t notice. You might think from the title, Alien 3000 that the movie would predominantly be an Alien knockoff, but it’s actually a lot more like Predator than Alien. It’s an intelligent alien 👽, it uses technology, it can turn invisible, it came down in a spaceship 🛸, and it hunts humans, not for food (or at I don’t think) but for sport. It even collects treasure, or artifacts from different eras and keeps them on display, sort of like the Predator. It like hordes a bunch of gold and a medieval sword ⚔️ (which what the main female character ♀︎ in the movie uses to kill the monster), whereas the Predators just collect the skulls 💀 of their victims as trophies and collect the weapons of their victims that they successfully killed but put up a good fight, like that flintlock pistol that the Elder Predator gave to Harrigan in Predator 2 and they said came from a pirate 🏴‍☠️ in the comics, but then retconned that to say that they actually got it from Comanche woman ♀︎ who got from a French fur tradesman 🇫🇷 in Prey (2022). And the multiple other aliens 👽 of the same species show up after the main one from throughout the film has been killed, though not to collect the body of that dead alien 👽, but more like reinforcements for an invasion. This is contrast to Balacau, who was more of an animalistic monster who could turn itself invisible, but didn’t use high technology or come down in a spaceship 🛸, and only really hunted humans for food. It even has the tagline, which you saw on the DVD cover 📀 I featured at the beginning of this update: “A new breed of predator.” As if you needed another hint that this movie was ripping off Predator. 

 

They just called it Alien 3000 and made the alien 👽 look like a Xenomorph on the DVD cover 📀 to cash-in on Alien too 🤑 and sucker poor saps into buying it, thinking it was a legit Alien movie even it definitely was not. It certainly worked on me since I rent this movie at the video store (Hastings) thinking it was an actual Alien movie with a capital A because the alien 👽 looked so similar to the Xenomorphs in Alien, only for me to be hugely disappointed when I saw the movie and it both had nothing to do with the Alien franchise but the alien 👽 itself looked nothing like the creature on the cover. I really did not like Alien 3000 when I saw it, even as a kid who was willing to accept anything and genuinely liked movies like Komodo vs. Cobra 🐍, or Python 🐍, or Megalodon 🦈 (2002), or The Eden Formula, or Hammerhead: Shark Frenzy hated this movie and saw how bad it was. The monster doesn’t even look that cool, it’s a pretty lame design and the creature suit looks pretty bad. I don’t know how I’ll feel about reviewing this movie when I get to it. 

 

This movie is also sort of a sequel to another low budget direct-to-video alien movie 👽, Unseen Evil, which is why the movie has the alternate title, Unseen Evil 2. But, from what it seems, besides the basic premise of people being stalked by an intelligent alien 👽 with cloaking abilities in the woods 🌲 that had been around since ancient times, the movie has nothing to do with that one. The alien 👽 doesn’t even have the same design at all. The one on the DVD cover 📀 just barely looks like the one featured in this movie, Alien 3000 AKA Unseen Evil 2. So, it seems more like one of those cases where it’s a fake unofficial sequel, where it was an otherwise unrelated movie that they decided to title as if it was a sequel even though it really wasn’t. Think Troll 🧌 and Troll 2, or Starcrash and Starcrash II, or The Deadly Spawn and The Deadly Spawn II. 

 

 

 

 

 

(This is the DVD cover 📀 for Unseen Evil AKA The Unbelievable AKA Unseen.) 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The original Unseen Evil itself has alternate titles too since in that aforementioned DVD cover 📀, the movie is referred to as The Unbelievable and on a poster, it’s just called Unseen. It looks even less like the alien 👽 in Unseen Evil 2 AKA Alien 3000 on that poster. It does have a Wikipedia page though, which is more than what its “sequel” has. When a movie like that has multiple different titles, you know you’re in something that’s truly top quality. Sarcasm again. So, you really don’t need to have seen the first Unseen Evil to understand Unseen Evil 2, just like how you don’t need to watch the first Troll 🧌 to understand Troll 2. In fact, it’s better if you don’t. It’s actually good that they changed the title to Alien 3000 since the movie has nothing to do with that other movie, Unseen Evil. Even if the new title they gave it and the DVD cover 📀 they released with it was just to reap off the success and notoriety of the Alien franchise, and trick people into thinking it’s a true Alien movie, when it very much isn’t. 

 

 

 

 

(This is a poster for Unseen Evil AKA The Unbelievable AKA Unseen.) 

 

 

 

 

 

There’s also the mockbuster, Alien vs. Hunter (AVH) which was put out by The Asylum and was meant to reap off the success (or lack there of, depending on your perspective) of Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem (AVPR), the sequel to the 2004 Alien vs. Predator movie (AVP) that was directed by Paul W.S. Anderson. I’ll talk more about that when I review Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem. I don’t know if I’ll review it today or not. If don’t review it today, then I’ll review it Sunday June 22, 2025 or Monday June 23, 2025. I won’t be able to review it tomorrow, Saturday June 21, 2025 because I’ll be at a graduation reception 👨‍🎓 for one of my relatives tomorrow, and watching movies and reviewing them takes a lot of time and I would like to have as much as time as I can instead of just rushing through it and delivering a subpar product. I’m sure you all understand if you’re reading this. 

 

 

(This is the DVD cover 📀 for Alien vs. Hunter, the mockbuster to Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem.)