Movies I Want Double Toasted 🍞 to Review
Note:
This was written from Tuesday March 24, 2026 to Thursday March 26, 2026, before I posted my 199th post and 200th post, and it was written while I didn’t have Internet access 🛜 because we got shut off by T-Mobile. So, cut me some slack on some of the research, I didn’t have it readily available while I was writing it. I actually make edits when and where necessary when I finally get my Internet 🛜 up and running again.
—
I finally get to do this. Sorry it took so long, but I had to write a review for Crime 101 (2026), which I saw recently, didn’t like it. And on top of that, I’ve been dealing with allergies for almost the whole month, or a cold 🦠, or something (I’m not sure what’s wrong with me that’s causing me to feel like this), and it got pretty bad recently. I’ve been coughing up phlegm and my nose 👃 has been stuffy, I haven’t been able to breathe or smell anything. It’s awful, I’ve been going through all kinds of tissue 🤧, just constantly blowing my nose 🤧, trying to get that mucus out, only for it build back up again. But I am getting better. I feel a lot better now than I did just a few days ago. That Mucinex that my aunt got me is working pretty good, it’s the hardcore stuff, the Fast Max Kickstart one, it works like a charm. I’m going to use that one from now on whenever I get like this. Even if it does cost $13 💵. That’s why I was able to start writing this because of that Mucinex that my aunt got me and that I bought more of with our own money 💵 that’s helping me recover faster.
You remember that post that I wrote about Brandon Tenold last year, well technically was written to Brandon Tenold but you get the gist, recommending movies for him to review on his show, Brandon’s Cult Movie Reviews? Well, I’m doing that again but with another YouTube channel I watch frequently, Double Toasted 🍞. I’m going to be recommending movies for them to review on either of their two shows, Bad Movie Roast/Bad Movie Review and Retro Review. I’ll leave it up to their discretion to decide which movie should be reviewed as part of which series. Unlike with Brandon, I have a feeling that they’ll probably get to all of these eventually, and they might’ve already have by the time this goes up. Like, I was going to add the 2001 Jet Li movie, The One to the list, but they already reviewed that movie on the Bad Movie Roast/Bad Movie Review series. They even did it as a two parter. So, keep that in mind while you’re reading this. And if they happen to review any of the movies on this list before this goes up, that’s fine. I’ll still post it as is.
Because they aren’t limited to just doing “cult movies” like Brandon is, I’ve included a lot more mainstream movies that I purposefully didn’t include in the Brandon post. You’ll see which ones when I list them off. I also plan on doing this sort of post for CoMiC, another YouTuber that I started watching last year and really like a lot, and am subscribed to. Unlike Double Toasted 🍞, who I am not currently subscribed to. Depending on how long this post takes me to complete, I might do that post immediately after this one, or I might do it after my Cowboy Bebop (1998) review. I’ll just have to see how it goes. Because as it turns out, there are a lot of movies that I want CoMiC to do that he hasn’t done yet, and I’m unsure are even on his radar. Of course, he mostly just does creature features (he found his niche and has so far stuck to it), so all the movies that I recommend him will have to be creature features and they are, for the most part. There’s only one that’s kind of questionable whether it’s a creature feature or not, and it’s a movie that’s on this list as well.
And what is that movie? Well to kick things off right away, the first movie I would like Double Toasted 🍞 to review is Ghosts of Mars, or John Carpenter’s Ghosts of Mars as is often referred to as. I think the whole John Carpenter’s is kind of unnecessary since there’s only one Ghosts of Mars movie ☝️and there will likely only ever be one Ghosts of Mars movie because it wasn’t successful and a lot of people hated it. And no one’s gonna to remake it or reboot it, that’s for sure. It’s considered John Carpenter’s worst movie and the movie put his career on ice 🧊 until The Ward temporarily brought it back and then immediately put it back on ice 🧊 again. It’s not like with Vampires (1998), where there’s probably a bunch of movies called Vampire or Vampires, so best to call it John Carpenter’s Vampires so people will know which one you’re talking about. Maybe if they stuck with the original title of the book 📖, Vampire$, they wouldn’t have this problem. Vampires (1998) is another movie I’d like to see Double Toasted 🍞 to review on their channel. Since it’s a John Carpenter movie people actually like it, they could review it as part of their Retro Review series if they wanted. That’s the only one where it could go.
I’d also like to see them review In the Mouth of Madness, which is actually considered one of John Carpenter’s good movies, like one of his masterpieces. In fact, it’s often considered by a lot of his fans to be his last truly great movie. Sure, the movie does have its fans, as do all of Carpenter’s movies, regardless of what the majority of people think of them, but for the most part, this is one of the more disliked movies 👎 in Carpenter’s filmography, even amongst people who are otherwise fans of his work. Just don’t say to Carpenter’s face because he will get mad at you 😠. He gets really pissed off 🤬 when anyone criticizes his movies in front of him, or talks very dismissively about one of his movies, especially Escape from LA and Ghosts of Mars, he will fight on those and tell you you’re wrong for hating them and that they’re good movies. I don’t know why he gets so defensive about those movies specifically, I guess because they got the worst reviews of all of his movies (even though a lot of his movies got bad reviews when they first came out, even the ones that are now considered masterpieces), or they’re like his middle finger 🖕 to Hollywood and the studio system.
I don’t know what it is, and Carpenter probably wouldn’t tell me if I asked him personally even if I asked him in the most respectful way because he’d probably think I was trying to attack him or his movies, or he’d think I wasn’t worth of respect. Like, “Oh look, another young Internet critic 🛜 who thinks they know it all and knows my movies better than I do 😒,” I feel like that’s how Carpenter would look at me if I asked that question even though I’m just curious and I want to know why he defends those two movies so vehemently. He kind of seems like a guy who has a chip on his shoulder, but that’s just me 🤷♂️. Still, it would be fun to see Korey, Martin, and Billy roast it on the Bad Movie Roast/Bad Movie Review series because that’s probably where they would review it. It wouldn’t be a Retro Review that’s for sure. It would especially because it would be a roast with a lot of returning guests because Ice Cube and Jason Statham are both in it, and they’ve roasted movies with both of them in it (not in the same movie, but movies with each actor), Pam Grier’s also in it (at the beginning), and she was in Escape from LA, and it’s directed by John Carpenter, who of course directed Escape from LA.
I would also like to see Brandon cover this movie too. I probably would’ve added it to my post about him if it was on my mind, but I didn’t start thinking about it until Brandon announced his Anaconda (1997) review, and then someone mentioned it in a reply to my comment that I left on Brandon’s Community Post. I’m surprised they haven’t done this movie already because they did Escape from LA, this would’ve been a perfect movie to review for Black History Month since it has a black lead, Ice Cube as Desolation Williams, the badass criminal/convict that the Mars cops have to work with to fight these possessed miners who have overrun this mining outpost. It also has Pam Grier, legendary black actress from the blaxploitation era, as the leader of the Mars cops. Yeah, she dies right away, she’s the first to die, but she’s in it. If you do review this movie Korey, if you’re reading this, please don’t repeat the rumor that this was originally going to be a Snake Plissken movie. That’s completely untrue, it’s false, and that’s rumor was thoroughly debunked by John Carpenter’s wife, Sandy King, who was a producer on Ghosts of Mars and a lot of Carpenter’s other movies.
I was actually thinking of writing this post during Black History Month, and in celebration of Black History Month because Double Toasted 🍞 is a black owned channel, it’s a black owned business, Korey and Martin (the hosts of the show and the heads of the company) are black creators. They were some of the first prominent black movie reviewers on the Internet 🛜 besides Andre the Black Nerd, who Korey knows and is friends with, I believe. I started watching these guys ♂︎ during the Spill.com days, when they were all represented by animated avatar and everyone except Korey used an alias. I mean, Martin used his middle name, Leon as his alias, so I guess he still kind of used his real name. But you get the idea, they didn’t use their actual first names except Korey because he was the host, he was the leader (still is of Double Toasted 🍞), and they all kind of played fictionalized versions of themselves while reviewing the latest movies in the most vulgar way possible. A way that was only possible in the late 2000s when people gave less of a fuck about being vulgar. It was fun, I miss Spill, part of me still wishes Spill was still around. But, I like Double Toasted 🍞, and I like the honesty and the authenticity that these guys ♂︎ get to be themselves on camera, they don’t have to use aliases or put on a character. They just can appear on camera and talk about whatever they’re going to talk about that day in that video. Because they don’t just talk about movies on Double Toasted 🍞, they talk about other stuff too like video games and even politics and current events. There’s plenty to talk about with politics because we’ve got a clown show 🤡 of an administration in office now, who’s currently bombing Iran 🇮🇷, or maybe has stopped bombing Iran 🇮🇷, I don’t know.
The US 🇺🇸 is trying to enter peace talks with Iran 🇮🇷 because the war has gone so badly due to a lack of planning of everyone involved, especially the president and the Secretary of Defense (I’m not calling him the Secretary of War, no sir, no way, I’m not validating that name change), who just jumped into this war as a distraction from all the domestic shit that was going on that sinking Trump’s presidency, namely the Epstein files. As one commenter I saw, while I had Wi-Fi 🛜 said, you don’t cover up sex crimes with war crimes 😒. This war has backfired tremendously on Trump, and I’m glad because we already knew going to war with Iran 🇮🇷 was a bad idea. It was a bad idea during the Bush administration, and it’s a bad idea now. Attacking Iran 🇮🇷 was just never going to work, because Iran 🇮🇷 is not Iraq 🇮🇶 or Venezuela 🇻🇪. But Trump really thought taking down the Iranian regime 🇮🇷 was going to be as easy as it was to snatch Nicolás Maduro, or he thought he could take out the Supreme Leader, and then he could install his own puppet Supreme Leader, who would be more compliant with him and do whatever he told them to do, or that him killing the Supreme Leader would scare the rest of the Iranian government 🇮🇷 into capitulating to Trump, and they would just agree to any demands he made of them. But, none of those happened. Instead, the Supreme Leader got replaced with an even harder liner and the Iranian regime 🇮🇷 is ready to fight it out as long as the US 🇺🇸 and Israel 🇮🇱 are willing to go. Because don’t forget, Israel 🇮🇱’s involved in this war too. And it seems that the US 🇺🇸 has reached its limit, or Trump has reached his limit, and wants to have peace talks, even going as far as to call off an airstrike they were going to do to show he’s ready to talk, but the Iranian government 🇮🇷 is in no mood to talk to him.
This is a result of Americans 🇺🇸, not just Trump and his administration, but other people who work in the national security and foreign policy sectors, thinking that the Iranian regime 🇮🇷 is a lot more brittle than it actually is, and thinking taking down the regime will be as easy as taking down Saddam Hussein’s regime in Iraq 🇮🇶, when it’s not. If this war taught us anything, it’s that the Iranian regime 🇮🇷, the Iranian system 🇮🇷, is a lot more resilient than we like to admit. I mean, this is a regime that rose up, that had its baptism by fire 🔥 through war, the Iran-Iraq War 🇮🇷🇮🇶, which lasted 8 years from 1980 to 1988 and had no clear winner. It ended in a stalemate. But it secured the Iranian regime 🇮🇷’s position and prevented it from falling as soon as it rose up from the ashes of the Shah’s regime. And taking down this regime will not be as easy as taking down Saddam Hussein’s. It wasn’t even that easy to take down the Saddam regime either since Operation Iraqi Freedom 🇮🇶 (OIF 🇮🇶) really didn’t go as smoothly as people often remember since there were logistical problems, miscommunication, bad strategy, and the Iraqis 🇮🇶 did actually fight back, at least the Fedayeen Saddam did and they were actually pretty formidable. But even still, OIF 🇮🇶 was more well thought out and executed than whatever the hell Trump and Hegseth tried to pull with Iran 🇮🇷 😒.
(This is another screenshot of Korey doing another funny face. Again, I don’t remember what video this is from, but I thought this face that Korey made was hilarious 😆, so I took a screenshot of it.)
But I couldn’t write it in time for Black History Month because our Internet 🛜 got shut off, and I wasn’t able to work on either my 199th post or 200th post. So, I got delayed even further, and this meant that this had to be another one of those posts I write in advance before either of those two posts goes up. That’s why there’s that note at the beginning of the post. But, given how much racism took place during Black History Month, I don’t think it’s too much of an exaggeration or too out of line for me to say that this year’s Black History Month was a bust. A lot of people have gotten way too comfortable being disrespectful to black people ever since Trump got re-elected 🤨. It makes you wonder what Pride Month 🏳️🌈 is going to be like this year, or the other celebrations dedicated to other marginalized groups like AAPI Heritage Month or American Indian Heritage Month. I’m currently writing this during Women’s History Month ♀︎.
I missed International Women’s Day ♀︎, which was on Sunday March 8, 2026, but it’s still Women’s History Month ♀︎ at the time that I’m writing this section. It held throughout the month of March, which I didn’t know about until recently. I didn’t know there was a Women’s History Month ♀︎, I thought there just an International Women’s Day ♀︎. But, women ♀︎ got a whole month to themselves, a whole month dedicated to celebrating them and their contributions to society, as well as acknowledging the hardships women ♀︎ have had to face to get to this point while living under our current patriarchal system. So, I’m writing this in time for at least one celebratory month. I hope International Women’s Day ♀︎ went off without a hitch for all the ladies ♀︎ out there who may be reading this, I hope your International Women’s Day ♀︎ went well, and I hope Women’s History Month is going perfect for you. I hope no misogynists tried to ruin your day or any try to ruin this month for you, but I know most of you are strong enough to not let that kind of thing ruin your day or month. You’re not going to let misogynists disrespect you, since you’ve been disrespected for centuries and you’re tired of it.
But I did a list a couple of other movies that would’ve been to review for Black History Month if they didn’t get so caught up in reviewing Tyler Perry movies (the Why Did I Get Married? duology), or Black Dynamite, or Date Movie. Maybe next Black History Month they can review them. Those movies are XXX: State of the Union 🇺🇸, another Ice Cube movie, but it also has Samuel L. Jackson, another legendary black actor, Red Tails, and Dangerous Grounds (1997), which is yet another Ice Cube movie (a rather obscure Ice Cube movie), except in this one he plays a South African 🇿🇦 who returns from America 🇺🇸 to his homeland after the end of Apartheid and ends up in conflict with this, I guess, crime boss played by Ving Rhames. And the only way Ice Cube is able to get away with playing a South African 🇿🇦 without having to put on an accent is that he’s very Americanized 🇺🇸. His character moved to America 🇺🇸 to escape from Apartheid when he was still a child, and he grew up in the United States 🇺🇸 for most of his life, and thus feels more American 🇺🇸 than South African 🇿🇦.
But, he still has a desire to return to his homeland after he learns Apartheid ended, and that’s why he goes back as an adult. There’s another Samuel L. Jackson movie that would be good for Double Toasted 🍞 to do, The Man ♂︎. It also has Eugene Levy in it, it’s like a buddy cop movie, and Eugene Levy is the one who gets paired up with Samuel L. Jackson in that movie. That one would have to be a roast because I think that one got bad reviews when it came out. The only thing I remember from it is that Samuel L. Jackson’s character shoots Eugene Levy’s character in the ass, and then puts taco sauce on it, and then later on, when Samuel L. Jackson’s character gets shot, Eugene Levy tells him, “I’ll go get the taco sauce.” Surviving the Game would also be a good movie to review around Black History Month, not just because it stars Ice T, but also because it unintentionally has a racial component. It’s this homeless black man ♂︎ getting chased and literally hunted in the woods 🌲 by a bunch of rich white men 🤑♂︎.
There’s only one black man ♂︎ in the hunting party that’s chasing after Ice T’s character, he’s played by Charles S. Dutten, who was in Alien 3 and Mimic (1997), and he dies right away. The filmmakers probably didn’t intend for the movie to have a racial component to it, if the movie had any political message it was just a classism message (you know, the rich 🤑 literally hunting the poor 😞 for sport), because they casted the movie the way they did, it came out that way. It definitely makes the movie a lot more interesting when you look at it like that. Speaking of Mimic (1997), that would be an awesome movie for the boys ♂︎ to review on either Bad Movie Roast/Bad Movie Review or Retro Review, even though I didn’t actually add to my list of things I want them to review. If it were up to me, I would have them review it as a Retro Review because it’s a movie from 1997, the late 90s, it’s Guillermo del Toro’s first Hollywood movie, his first studio movie, and probably his first English language movie, and it’s pretty good from what I’ve heard, especially the Director’s Cut. Korey if you’re reading this, if you guys review Mimic (1997), review the Director’s Cut, you’ll get a way better experience out of it, I’m sure. It definitely looks good, I even want to do my own review of it. It’s on my own list of movies, shows, and games I want to review on my blog, and I will get to it someday. Hopefully sooner rather than later. But, if Double Toasted 🍞 reviews Mimic (1997) as a Retro Review, then they can review the sequels, Mimic 2 and Mimic 3: Sentinel as part of the Bad Movie Roast/Bad Movie Review series. I wouldn’t entirely mind if they did the sequels as roasts, just don’t do the first one as a roast.
To make this easier for myself, I’m going to list the other movies I listed for Double Toasted 🍞 to review on their channel in sections, and it’s a movie I don’t have a lot to say about and why I picked it, then I’ll just list off the title without going into some long explanation of why I want Double Toasted 🍞 to review it. Sort of like what I did with the Brandon Tenold post. And that’s just because I wrote down so many movies, I have so many things I want Double Toasted 🍞 to review. Hopefully they actually get to them. I’m going start off with the movies I want them to review the most, and then work my way down. The first one I’m going to mention is a movie that’s probably going to end up being in all of the posts like this that I do, Dragon Wars: D-War 🐉. Now I’ve already reviewed Dragon Wars 🐉 on my own, you can go read it on my blog if you like, but I’d like to see other people review it as well, especially all the reviewers I like to watch, whether it’s Brandon Tenold, or Double Toasted 🍞, or CoMiC because it is a movie that so few people have actually reviewed.
It seems like hardly anyone’s even heard of this movie except me and a few other people on the Internet 🛜, even though it stars at least a couple of famous American actors 🇺🇸 and it got a major theatrical release in the US 🇺🇸. Spill actually covered it back in the day, but they did it as an audio only review, I don’t remember them ever doing a full on animated review of it. Unless they did, that review is lost because all that pops up when you search for “Spill.com Dragon Wars 🐉 review,” all that pops up is the audio only review. But, the fact that Spill did review it when it came out makes me want to see them back 19 years later and review this movie again but with a more “mature lens.” Korey and Martin are both much older men ♂︎ now than when they reviewed Dragon Wars 🐉 when it first came out, and I want to see if they feel the same way about this movie as they did when it first came out.
There’s enough roastable material in that movie that it would make for an entertaining video if they made it. I imagine they’d roast the hell out of Craig Robinson for even agreeing to be in this, even though it’s pretty clear that he was just slumming for a paycheck. Him and Robert Forrester. They both probably knew that the material was dogshit, and that the script was terrible (it was written by probably the most notorious filmmaker in South Korea 🇰🇷), and just did it for the paycheck. At least Robert Forrester put some effort into his performance, Craig Robinson looked he was just sleepwalking through his performance 😴, he looked so bored 🥱 while doing this, he didn’t try to hide how disinterested he was. Really, the only good thing about that movie are the creatures, the creature designs, which makes sense since those seem to be where the filmmakers put the most effort into, both in terms of design and special effects. They didn’t put any efforts into the script because the script was terrible in this movie.
Especially in the American scenes 🇺🇸 which make up the vast majority of this movie. Honestly the whole movie should’ve just been in Korean 🇰🇷, and taken place in Korea 🇰🇷 in 1507, instead of trying to appeal to Americans 🇺🇸, since those scenes are the best written and acted in the whole movie. At least the Korean actors 🇰🇷 seemed like they gave a shit about what they were doing, unlike any of the American actors 🇺🇸, who all seemed like they couldn’t have given any less of a shit. Since I mentioned a Hyung-rae Shim movie (or Shim Hyung-rae if you want his name the way it’s written in the credits), I would also like see the guys ♂︎ talk about Yonggary (1999) AKA Reptilian, which was Hyung-rae Shim’s attempt at making Godzilla-style kaiju movie, rather than a Lord of the Rings-style fantasy epic like Dragon Wars 🐉 was, using South Korea 🇰🇷’s own Godzilla-like kaiju, Yongary, or Yonggary in this case, who already his own movie in the 1960s called Yongary: Monster from the Deep, as well as his first attempt at trying to appeal Americans 🇺🇸 by casting mostly English speaking actors.
Yonggary (1999) actually went further than Dragon Wars 🐉 did because it only had English speaking actors in it, and had no Korean actors 🇰🇷 whatsoever, and is spoken entirely in English. There are no Korean scenes 🇰🇷 spoken in Korean like in Dragon Wars 🐉. But it does have aliens 👽, Dragon Wars 🐉 didn’t have any of those. There’s probably a lot more roastable material in Yonggary (1999) than there is Dragon Wars 🐉 because not only is it pretty terrible, it’s badly written and acted, in fact the writing and the acting are a lot worse in Yonggary (1999) than in Dragon Wars 🐉, but the CGI is a lot worse. That was the one thing that Dragon Wars 🐉 had going for it, the CGI was actually pretty good, but Yonggary (1999) doesn’t even have that because the CGI is pretty bad. And the so-called “Upgrade Edition” is the only version of the movie available, so we’re looking at the version with the supposedly improved effects. Yonggary (1999) has more of a “so bad it’s good” quality, a bad movie you can watch and have a laugh 😆 at, whereas Dragon Wars 🐉 is a more on the boring side of things 🥱, at least for me. I’m sure Korey, Martin, and Bill would get a kick out of that movie. It would be worth it just to hear Billy laugh 🤣 at all stupid shit that’s in Yonggary (1999). Especially the evil scientist, the evil paleontologist, who upon seeing Yonggary alive for the first time (because Yonggary starts out as a fossil and then is brought back to life by the aliens 👽) said “No! It isn’t real!” only to then seconds later say, “You’re my creation! I made you!” Neither of which is true BTW, he didn’t create him, and then Yonggary steps on him and kills him.
The next movie I would like for Double Toasted 🍞 to review on their channel is Hudson Hawk, the 1991 Bruce Willis action-comedy where he plays a cat burglar who recently got released from prison and then immediately gets hired by the CIA and a crazed billionaire couple (the CIA and the billionaire couple are in cahoots with each other) to steal a bunch of Leonardo Da Vinci artifacts, so that the billionaire couple can use them to build an alchemy machine that Da Vinci designed so they can use it to produce gold and then flood the market with it, and then make gold worthless. Why do they want to do this? To take over the world of course. But, before he gets wrapped up with the CIA and the billionaire couple, he first gets hired to start a horse statue (that may or may not be connected to Da Vinci) from an art museum in New York (I don’t know which one) by these gangsters, these Italian mob guys 🇮🇹♂︎ named Caesar and Anthony, who I guess were previous associates of his.
But it’s okay because they all die (they all get blown up in an ambulance 🚑 that explodes 💥 when it crashes), and then they’re out of the story, and it’s onto the CIA and Mayflower plotline. The Mayflowers are the last names of the billionaire couple, Darwin and Minerva Mayflower. Oh, and Andie MacDowell’s in it. She plays a nun who works for the Vatican 🇻🇦(the Holy See 🇻🇦 I guess since that’s the name of the Vatican government 🇻🇦) , and becomes Eddie’s love interest ❤️. Eddie is the name of Bruce Willis’s character BTW, his full name is Eddie Hawkins. Hudson Hawk is just a nickname from when he was a more active burglar before he got arrested and sent to prison. This movie bombed at the box office 💣 when it first came out, and it received mostly negative reviews from critics, like it was pretty much universally panned 👎. Even today whenever this movie’s brought up, it’s always negative, and it’s often just dismissed as a Bruce Willis vanity project, like it seems hardly anyone genuinely likes this movie. But, it does look like it’s a lot of fun.
It’s almost looks like a live action cartoon, there’s a lot of cartoony slapstick and there are even cartoon sound effects. Despite, of course, this being an R rated movie with lots of bloody violence 🩸 and swearing. And even some sexual content? There’s no sex on screen (unless you count the Mayflowers’ dog 🐕, Bunny licking Eddie’s balls while trying to grab a tennis ball 🎾 that Minerva threw for him), but there’s plenty of sexual references and dialogue, and there’s one moment where during a slideshow, we see the Mayflowers engaged in some kind of fetishistic activity. A lot of black leather, BDSM, bondage type stuff. Oh, and at the end, when they’re turning on the alchemy machine, Darwin talks how if Da Vinci were alive today, he’d be eating “microwave sushi 🍣” naked in the back of a Cadillac with the both of them. It seems Darwin really wants to have a threesome with Leonardo Da Vinci, or just eat sushi 🍣 naked with him. To each their own I guess 🤷♂️. He is a billionaire, and as we all know by now, billionaires are into some freaky shit.
And Minerva seems into it, she seems to be down for that sort of thing. She’s probably the one who got him into all this kinky fetishistic stuff. The point is, not a kid’s movie, but still really cartoony. It also has some weird one liners, that wouldn’t have worked if they were coming out of anybody else other than Bruce Willis. But other characters have funny lines and moments too from the looks of it. It seems like a movie that’s unashamed of what it is, and the filmmakers and the actors were just willing to get pretty wild with it. Even a couple of actors bad mouthed the movie in the years after it was released. Namely Richard E. Grant, who absolutely hates it 😡. Like, don’t bring this movie up to him otherwise he’ll get mad 😡. He’ll especially get mad 😡 if you admit you like it in front of him. But, even if this looks like a movie I would like, and I have liked everything I’ve seen of it, I do still think it would be pretty fun for Korey, Martin, and Billy to roast it. They haven’t done any Bruce Willis movies, so it would be cool if this was their first one.
I’d also like to see them do Breakfast of Champions, another critically panned Bruce Willis movie, only this one’s based on a book 📖 rather being an original concept created out of whole cloth like Hudson Hawk was. He plays this used car salesman named Dwayne Hoover who goes insane, and he meets this sci-fi author named Kilgore Trout, who’s a bit kooky himself, and he convinces him that he’s important or something (I don’t know what he convinces him because I haven’t seen the movie or read the book 📖), and the whole movie’s about his descent into madness as well as the mystery surrounding Kilgore Trout, and how all that causes everything and everyone else around Dwayne to unravel. Like, him losing his mind causes everyone else to around him to unravel as well, and the entire town that this movie takes place in, Midland City descends into chaos. Like, he was a respected businessman in the community, and the moment he started going insane, everything in this town started falling apart. It’s like he was the only bit of stability this town, and the moment he loses stability, the whole town loses stability. He becomes a chaos agent almost, his actions directly or indirectly affect everyone else around him.
It’s kind of like Paranoia Agent, where the actions of this one kid, this one crazed skateboard kid 🛹 with a baseball bat, attacking random people affects a bunch of other people in Tokyo, and the whole city, and the whole country of Japan 🇯🇵 descends into chaos, and almost gets destroyed by this evil entity, the mascot character that the girl ♀︎ created, I forget her name. But it’s her creation that almost destroys the world and kills everyone, and it was her creating this mascot character that led to everything and everyone unraveling, including the kid on the skateboard 🛹 attacking people, which we were initially led to believe was the catalyst for everything that happens in that series, but is actually just another piece of the puzzle 🧩 (another thing that was affected by the girl ♀︎’s creation of that mascot character), and the mascot character is the actual catalyst. It’s a batshit insane movie based on an even more batshit insane book 📖.
A lot of fans of the book 📖 didn’t like the movie, and neither did the author, because it wasn’t a faithful adaptation I guess, but what little I read on it, seems like it has the same story beats. So, I’m wondering what way is the movie not a faithful adaptation of the book 📖 or is inferior to the book 📖, beyond just that it’s a movie and a lot of book readers and authors 📖 tend to be very snobbish about movies. Thinking their medium is better than it’s all words, you have to actually read, whereas with movies you just look at it. They see book 📖 as inherently more intellectual than movies, which is obviously a view that I do not hold. I have not read the book 📖 obviously, and I’m not familiar with the author, but it seems like a pretty weird book 📖 and the author seems like the kind of guy ♂︎ who likes writing weird books 📖 that you have to read multiple times just to understand, or you have to watch a deep dive analysis video on YouTube just to understand what it’s about and what it’s trying to say, like what is the message of the book 📖?
It seems like a large part of the book 📖 is a critique of America 🇺🇸, and a critique and deconstruction of American society 🇺🇸, like he’s talking about how weird of a country America 🇺🇸 is, and critiquing how hypocritical and contradictory it often is. America 🇺🇸 is not a country that lives up to the values it often espouses and berates other countries for not living up to. This was before Trump ever became president and got re-elected, and now under him, America 🇺🇸 is not even trying to pretend that it has values that are worth following. Now America 🇺🇸’s acting like an empire, or as a protection racket, only meant to line the pockets of those in charge, namely the president and those in his cabinet. The billionaires who suck up to Trump, and are afraid of him. So, all of the problems that America 🇺🇸 has that the Breakfast of Champions book 📖 at least criticized are even worse now under Trump, and he laid bare the inherent contradictions and hypocrisy about this country, and now no one can deny it anymore. Unless they’re in the Trump cult themselves or if they’re trying to suck up to Trump and get his good graces so they can get something out of him.
The movie actually a bit of a reunion for Bruce Willis and a couple of the other cast members of Armageddon ☄️, namely Michael Clarke Duncan and Will Patton, who are both in Breakfast of Champions, in minor roles. Even Owen Wilson’s in it, and he was also in Armageddon ☄️, which a lot of people tend to forget. So this movie really was an Armageddon ☄️ reunion, just one year after that movie came out. I did actually add Armageddon ☄️ to my list, I do want Korey and them to talk about it, and roast the hell out of it, even though I like that movie. As well as Pearl Harbor (2001), I’d love to see them roast Pearl Harbor (2001), that would be pretty fun, and Transformers: Dark of the Moon 🌑 as well. They already did a roast on Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, so why not do one on Dark of the Moon 🌑 as well? They could even do Transformers: Age of Extinction and Transformers: The Last Knight if they want.
Oh, and Nick Nolte’s in it, as one Dwayne’s co-workers, one of his business partners working at the dealership, who’s secretly a crossdresser. He likes wearing women ♀︎’s clothing, particularly dresses, but he doesn’t want anyone else to find about it. He wants to keep it a secret, because I guess he doesn’t want people to think he’s gay ⚣, or treat him bad or anything differently just because he likes to cross dress. He wants people to think he’s this hyper masculine man ♂︎, and is not in anyway in touch with his feminine side. And as the story goes along, he becomes a lot more paranoid about people finding out, and he becomes convinced that Dwayne knows and is going to tell everybody, and this paranoia ultimately leads to him outing himself and being driven out of town I guess. It’s a bit of a self-fulfilling prophecy, everything he does to prevent his secret from getting out, leads to his secret getting out. So, Nick Nolte’s character is one of the characters that really becomes unraveled by Dwayne’s mental breakdown.
But it’s cool that he was in a movie with Bruce Willis, back when you could actually understand what he was saying. I saw Crime 101 (2026), as I mentioned earlier, and Nick Nolte’s in that movie, in a minor role, and I could barely understand him. I felt like I needed to watch his scenes with subtitles. But obviously he was much older man ♂︎ when he did that movie than when he did this movie. This was the perfect time when Nick Nolte was an older man ♂︎, yes, and he had his signature gravelly voice but not so old that he’s completely incomprehensible. Another Bruce Willis movie I’d like to see Double Toasted 🍞 cover on their channel is The Jackal (1997), which is an action thriller that is only really remembered for that scene where he blows off Jack Black’s arm with a machine gun, and then turns him into Swiss cheese 🧀 with that same machine gun, just pumps all kinds of holes into him. That’s it, that’s all people remember from that movie. It was one of the few villain roles that Bruce Willis ever played. And Richard Gere is in it, he’s the actual main lead, he’s the hero of the movie, trying to stop the Jackal, who Bruce Willis’s character is often referred to as.
The next one is interesting, I’d be really curious to see where the guys ♂︎ at Double Toasted 🍞 place this one, whether it would be a roast or a Retro Review, it’s also a Bruce Willis movie, I didn’t realize this until I started writing this part, but I’ve done four Bruce Willis movies in a row, I promise the next movie after this one won’t be a Bruce Willis movie, The Fifth Element. I actually wrote my own review of The Fifth Element, at the beginning of last year, it one of the first posts I posted in 2025, and it’s currently in the top three list of the most popular posts on this blog, and that’s due to me going back and editing and checking the results because Blogger counts your views as part of the view total even though you’re the author. Not to toot my own horn, but it’s pretty good, you should go read it, I’m really proud of how it turned out. But the main reason why I’m so interested in Double Toasted 🍞 doing some type of review of The Fifth Element is because of Martin. He’s indicated a few times over the years that he’s not a big fan of The Fifth Element, and isn’t a fan of Luc Besson as a director at all. Every time they’ve talked about Luc Besson or one of his movies, Martin has said he finds him and his movies to be pretty immature, and I remember when he and Korey reviewed Lucy (2014), a movie I absolutely hate 😡, he was very dismissive of the idea that Luc Besson came up with the idea for The Fifth Element when he was a teenager. He had kind of a “so-what” attitude 🙄 about it. So, I would like to see him explain why he doesn’t like The Fifth Element, and what does he not like about it, beyond just the immaturity thing, and if Korey shares his opinion or if he likes The Fifth Element.
He probably likes The Fifth Element. I know Martin would probably get a lot of shit for it because The Fifth Element is one of those movies that people love. The majority of people who have seen that movie, the majority of people that I know personally who have seen that movie, like it and says it’s pretty good, and the movie has a pretty strong cult following that has persisted all this time. It’s been 29 years since The Fifth Element came out, and it’s maintained a loyal fanbase all this time that’s just kept growing with every new person who sees it. Martin’s the only person I know of who doesn’t like it, and has admitted on camera (or on microphone 🎙️) to not liking it. And they don’t like seeing someone hate on it, even if it is their own opinion. If Martin doesn’t like it, then that’s his opinion, and he’s entitled to it. Everyone’s entitled to their own opinions. Maybe that’s why they haven’t done it yet, because Korey’s trying to protect Martin, he doesn’t want him to get all that heat from the Fifth Element fans 😡, who are upset about him not liking it and saying negative things about the movie.
I mean they got a lot of shit for featuring Freddy vs. Jason on the Bad Movie Roast/Bad Movie Review series, people didn’t like that they roasted that movie because there are a lot of people who like that movie, mostly for the fight scenes between Freddy and Jason, which are what everyone came to see. They even got shit for roasting The One (2001), which I was really surprised at. I was surprised at all the One fans and Jet Li fans who came out in defense of that movie. It’s a kick ass movie, it’s a lot of fun. I really like that movie, and I love Jet Li (I actually like him a lot more than Jackie Chan), but I still I enjoyed seeing Korey, Martin, and Bill roast that movie. That was still entertaining, I got a kick out of what they had to say 🤣, especially about Jason Statham. Statham’s been catching strays lately for all the newer movies he’s been doing lately, at the beginning of every year, in January or February. It started with The Beekeeper 🐝 in 2024, and then continued in 2025 with A Working Man ♂︎, and now this year, 2026 with Shelter. I’ve seen The Beekeeper 🐝 and I’ve seen A Working Man ♂︎, and I liked both movies (I reviewed them both, they’re on my blog right now for you to read), I like Jason Statham. I don’t like it when he gets hate, especially from people who don’t really understand him or don’t even really watch his movies anyway, like I would really pissed off 😠 if Cody did a video on Statham like he did on Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, and there was at least one person requesting that he do that 🤦♂️.
He better not listen to them, Cody, if you’re reading this, don’t do it, don’t listen to that person, don’t make a Jason Statham video unless you have good things to say about him, and given you, you probably don’t. So, best not to do it. And make that goddamn Godzilla: King of the Monsters (2019) review already! It feels every new video you make is just another way to avoid reviewing that movie, what gives? Do you hate that movie or something? Do you not want to talk about the MonsterVerse anymore? Or do you like making us wait for things like that? I swear if you make another Transformers video and not another MonsterVerse one, I am going to unsubscribe because this is ridiculous. You’re ridiculous Cody 😤! But, I have not seen Shelter (2026), I wanted to, and I wish I had seen it instead of Crime 101 (2026) because that movie wasn’t very good, and I feel like I would’ve gotten a lot more enjoyment out of it than I did Crime 101 (2026) 😒. I probably wouldn’t had to wait as long since Shelter (2026) is probably way shorter than Crime 101 (2026). Crime 101 (2026) is 2 hours and 20 minutes (140 minutes long), that is way too long, especially for the kind of story that it told, and how uninteresting and overly complicated it was, while most of Statham’s non-franchise action movies tend to be only an hour long. The Beekeeper 🐝’s only 105 minutes long, and A Working Man ♂︎’s a similar length, and Shelter (2026) is probably a similar length as well. These are relatively short movies that don’t overstayed their welcome. Unlike Crime 101 (2026) 😒.
So, imagine how shit Korey, Martin, and Bill would get, especially Korey and Martin, if they roasted The Fifth Element, they would not hear the end of it. Which is why I think if they were to review that movie on the Double Toasted 🍞 channel, it would have to be a Retro Review, and Korey and most of the people they bring on would like it and praise the movie, while Martin would be the Debby Downer talking shit about the movie, and about its director, Luc Besson. That would be one way to break the ice 🧊, and not have the Fifth Element fans get too mad 😡, then if they just did it as a roast. Which I don’t think they would do anyway, regardless of fan reaction, or Internet backlash 🛜, because again, I do think Korey, and everyone else in the Double Toasted 🍞 team probably likes The Fifth Element, Martin’s the only one who doesn’t like it. So, he’d be the sole negative voice in that review, and he’d be all alone on this movie. I’d really surprised if it came time to review The Fifth Element, and it turned out that Korey hated it as much as Martin does, but I don’t think that’s the case.
The next movie I’m going to talk about here is not a Bruce Willis movie, but a movie with an actor who has Will in his name, someone Korey has talked about before on the channel, Will Smith, Bad Boys II. They’ve reviewed the first Bad Boys, the original one from 1995 that launched not only Will Smith’s career (and made him a movie star), but it also launched Michael Bay’s career as a film director. He was already a commercial director when he asked to direct Bad Boys (1995), and he must’ve already been loaded 🤑 since he was willing to write a check to pay for the big explosion 💥 at the end of the movie out of his own pocket after the budget ran out, and the studio wasn’t willing to add more money 💵 to the budget for that explosion 💥. And of course, they reviewed the two newer ones directed by Adil & Bilall instead of Michael Bay (although Michael Bay makes a cameo in both movies), Bad Boys for Life and Bad Boys: Ride or Die.
They just need to do Bad Boys II, and then they will have done all of the Bad Boys movies that have been made so far. And I remember back in the Spill days Korey said he loved Bad Boys II when they were reviewing Transformers: Dark of the Moon 🌑, which was the latest Transformers movie and latest Michael Bay movie at the time. I want to see if Korey feels the same way about that movie that he did back then, if he still loves Bad Boys II or if he’s soured on it since then. Because I don’t know about you, but I love Bad Boys II, it’s my favorite one out of the whole series so far. Nothing has come to topping it in my mind, in terms of the action, in terms of the comedy, the chemistry between Will Smith and Martin Lawrence, the story, and the villain. Bad Boys II has the best villain out of all of them, I mean, for one, I can actually remember his name, Johnny Tapia. I can’t remember any of the other villains’ names except for Fouche from the first one or Armando from the third one, but Armando doesn’t count because he becomes a good guy in the fourth one.
He becomes an antihero, working with Mike and Marcus to take down the bad guy of that movie, James McGrath, played by the late Eric Dane, who died earlier this year from ALS (the same disease that the Ice Bucket Challenge 🧊🪣 from the early 2010s was supposed to raise awareness for, and the same disease that Stephen Hillenburg, the creator of SpongeBob SquarePants 🧽, died from) RIP 😔. So I guess do remember all the villains’ names, except for Armando’s mom who was the real main bad guy of Bad Boys for Life, but Johnny Tapia is still the one I like the most. He had the most fun personality out of all of them. Jordi Mollà brought so much to the role, it could’ve been the most forgettable villain role ever, but he injected that character with much personality that you still remember him even 23 years later, even though I saw Bad Boys II a lot more recently, around 2020 or 2021, when the pandemic 🦠😷 was going on.
I’ve got a few Jean-Claude Van Damme movies on my list that I want them to do, as well as one Jet Li movie, two Jason Statham movies (the Jet Li movie is also one of the Jason Statham movies), three John Woo movies, one Samuel L. Jackson movie, and one more Bruce Willis movie. Two more technically, but I’ll get to that. I’ll start with the Van Damme movies, Knock Off, Universal Soldier, and Universal Soldier: The Return. They’ve done a couple of Van Damme movies, Double Team and Hard Target, which was directed by John Woo (it was his first Hollywood movie), so they’ve done a John Woo movie already too. So, why not do Knock Off as well? It’s an action movie starring Jean-Claude Van Damme (obviously) and the infamous Rob Schneider that takes place in Hong Kong 🇭🇰. The title comes from the fact that Van Damme and Schneider’s characters both work in and around the black market, sell a lot of knock off products, or something like that, and the plot has to do with the villains (who are a bunch of terrorists and their leader is a rogue CIA agent) trying to smuggle these toys that are either laced with drugs or explosives 💥, and Van Damme and Schneider’s characters, along with their friends and allies have to try to stop them. Oh, and it turns out that Rob Schneider’s character is an undercover CIA agent, and Van Damme’s character is upset 😠 when he learns this because he considers Rob Schneider’s character a friend and he doesn’t like being lied to. It directed by the same director as Double Team, Tsui Hark, another Hong Kong director 🇭🇰 who tried to break into Hollywood in the 1990s.
Both Knock Off and Double Team came out a year apart from each other, with Double Team coming out first in 1997, and Knock Off coming out second in 1998. Neither movie did well at the box office and neither one was well received by critics. No wonder Double Toasted 🍞 did a roast of Double Team. Even Tsui Hark did like either of them, since the years after, he expressed dissatisfaction with his work in Hollywood, which is just these two movies, Double Team and Knock Off. And of course, these two movies were the final nail in the coffin ⚰️ for Van Damme’s career, which wasn’t doing too well by the late 90s, and he wouldn’t make anymore theatrically released movies after this, and would just made direct-to-DVD movies 📀 afterwards. The other Van Damme movie I would like for them to review is Universal Soldier, which co-stars Dolph Lundgren, and was directed by Roland Emmerich and at least written by Dean Devlin. It was one of the Emmerich’s earlier movies, before he made it big with Independence Day, and it was one of the only two movies him and Dean Devlin made at Carolco Pictures before it went under following the disastrous box office performance of Cutthroat Island 🏴☠️, which I didn’t add to my list but would be an interesting for them to do. It’s also considered to be one Van Damme’s classics, one of his good movies, back when his career was still on the rise, and he was in the process of becoming a major movie star on the level of Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone. He probably wouldn’t have gotten cast as Guile in Street Fighter (1994) if it wasn’t for this movie. Oh yeah, that reminds me, they did do Street Fighter (1994), so they’ve done three Jean-Claude Van Damme movies altogether.
But, they also did Hard Target, and that’s also considered one of Van Damme’s classics, as well as one of John Woo’s better Hollywood movies, so they aren’t afraid of roasting Van Damme movies people like. So, I say bring on Universal Soldier, there’s plenty of stuff to roast in that movie would make for an entertaining video, if only for Billy’s laugh 🤣. And if they want, they could do the sequel, or one of the sequels, because there are a whole bunch of them, Universal Soldier: The Return, which was theatrically released and was meant to be the true sequel to Universal Soldier after those made-for-TV sequels on the Sci-Fi Channel (back when it was still called the Sci-Fi Channel) that didn’t feature Van Damme or Dolph Lundgren. It was also one of Michael Jai White’s earliest roles, I think he either did it before or after, or even the same year as Spawn (1997), which Korey and them already did a roast of a long time ago. But, Universal Soldier: The Return is considered one of the weaker films in the series. To the point where it’s no longer considered canon. Only those other sequels, those direct-to-DVD and Blu-Ray ones 📀💿 that Van Damme did with Dolph Lundgren are considered canon (and are considered good), Universal Soldier: Regeneration and Universal Soldier: Day of Reckoning, which actually stars Scott Adkins in the lead role. They were both darker and grittier than The Return was, and are considered improvements over The Return. That’s why they’re considered canon and The Return isn’t.
Since we’re here and I mentioned John Woo already, here are the John Woo movies that I would like for Double Toasted 🍞 to review on their channel: Face/Off, Windtalkers, and Paycheck. All three of them being Hollywood movies rather than any of his Hong Kong films 🇭🇰. Out of these three, Face/Off is the one that’s actually considered a good movie, it’s considered a 90s classic, and one of Nicolas Cage’s best and one of John Travolta’s best. It’s a classic for both of their careers. But, like with Hard Target, the guys ♂︎ at Double Toasted 🍞 aren’t afraid of roasting movies that people like, so maybe they might do Face/Off as a roast. Though I could also see them doing it as a Retro Review, because they probably like that movie too. But, the other two movies I mentioned, Windtalkers and Paycheck, those would have to be roasts because they were not well received and they didn’t do well at the box office, at least Paycheck didn’t, and it kind of put John Woo’s Hollywood career on ice 🧊 for a while. He went back to Hong Kong 🇭🇰, and started making movies for the Hong Kong and Chinese market 🇭🇰🇨🇳. He wouldn’t make another Hollywood movie again until years later with that Christmas action movie 🎄, Silent Night (2023) which starred Joel Kinnaman (I don’t think I spelt his name right), who’s best known for playing Rick Flag in the Suicide Squad movies, as well as Alex Murphy in the 2014 RoboCop remake that everyone forgot about. He plays a deaf guy 🧏♂️ in that movie, and the whole movie doesn’t have any dialogue, or it has very little dialogue. John Woo followed that up with an American remake 🇺🇸 of one of his classic Hong Kong movies 🇭🇰, The Killer, in 2024, which received mixed reviews, with many people feeling that it was inferior to the original Hong Kong movie 🇭🇰.
The one Jet Li movie on this list and one of the two Jason Statham movies is War (2007), an action crime thriller about this FBI agent named Crawford (played by Jason Statham) tracking down this Triad assassin named Rogue (played by Jet Li), who he believes killed his partner, Tom Lone. All the while, Rogue (or who we think is Rogue) is on his own path of revenge, taking out several Triad and Yakuza members and leaders, and trying to start a war between the two criminal organizations. That’s where the title of the movie comes from, War (2007) because it’s literally a movie about a gang war. I actually like this movie a lot, it’s one of my favorite Jet Li movies, as well as one of my favorite Jason Statham movies, but there’s enough stuff in that movie that it would make for a fun video. It would make for a fun roast. The one Samuel L. Jackson movie I’d like Double Toasted 🍞 to do a video on, besides XXX: State of the Union 🇺🇸 and The Man ♂︎ of course, is The 51st State AKA Formula 51, where Sam Jackson plays a chemist 🧪 who wears a kilt and kills a crime boss named the Lizard 🦎 (played by Meat Loaf) at the end of the movie using a cocktail 🍸 laced with some kind of explosive chemical that causes him to literally explode 💥 and cover the entire room in blood 🩸. It’s directed by Ronny Yu, the same director as Freddy vs. Jason and Warriors of Virtue, both of which Double Toasted 🍞 roasted already on their channel, and it’s more a movie that’s known in the UK 🇬🇧 and Canada 🇨🇦 than it is in the US 🇺🇸. But there looks to be enough crazy shit in it that it would make for a fun roast. And the last two Bruce Willis movies I have listed on here are A Good Day to Die Hard and G.I. Joe: Retaliation. I actually added G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra and Snake Eyes: G.I. Joe Origins as well, but I’m mentioning G.I. Joe: Retaliation here because it has Bruce Willis in it. A lot of people probably forget he was even in that.
Retaliation was also directed by John M. Chu, the same guy ♂︎ who directed the two Wicked movies with Ariana Grande and Cynthia Erivo. Who would’ve thought the guy ♂︎ who directed a G.I. Joe movie would go onto direct two movies based on a musical that was like an alternate take on The Wizard of Oz? That’s what Wicked is, it’s The Wizard of Oz from the witches’ perspective, and it’s one of those stories that tries to make the villain sympathetic and give them this tragic backstory to explain why they’re bad, or even suggest the villain was never really evil but just misunderstood and the heroes are actually evil, or not as good as the original story suggested. That’s how you get stuff like Maleficent and Cruella, but the original Wicked musical was the first thing to ever try something like that, do a story from the villain’s perspective and make the villain sympathetic to the point where they aren’t really the villain anymore. And then it got adapted into two movies which were box office hits and pop culture phenomenon. These movies took the Internet 🛜 by storm, especially the first Wicked, let me tell you. But they also stirred up controversy because of the weird behavior of the two stars, Ariana Grande and Cynthia Erivo on the press tour promoting the movie, and all of the female actors on the movies coming out of them way thinner than when they first agreed to do them, like dangerously thin, unhealthily thin. Every actress who was involved in the Wicked movies came out way thinner than they were before, it’s so bizarre, and kind of off-putting. It makes wonder what went on behind the scenes. Is John M. Chu an abusive director 🤔?
But you know, G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra, Double Toasted 🍞 already did a Stephen Sommers movie, Van Helsing, so it would be cool for them do another one with The Rise of Cobra, which I do actually like, but as I think I’ve established already, I don’t mind it if this movie gets roasted, so long as it’s Korey, Martin, and Bill doing it. So long as it’s those guys doing it. And then after The Rise of Cobra, they can do Retaliation and Snake Eyes, which is by far the worst of all the live action G.I. Joe movies hands down. And while I’m naming Hasbro based movies, I’d like for them to do Battleship (2010) as well, I think that would make for a fun roast as well. If they want to do a couple of other Stephen Sommers movies, or just one ☝️, they can do The Mummy (1999) and The Mummy Returns, since there’s a new Mummy movie coming out this year, Lee Cronin’s The Mummy, and they’re apparently making a fourth Mummy movie as part of this series since Brendan Fraser really wants to make another one and he managed to get Rachel Weisz to agree to do it.
They’d probably just do The Mummy (1999), since that one’s the most beloved, and it’s the one that’s the most Retro Review material compared to The Mummy Returns, even though I like that movie, but even if they did, that would still be great too because I like The Mummy (1999), and I know a lot of people do too. It would be a nice contrast after they did The Mummy (2017) as a roast last year or the year before. But, it would be fun if they roasted The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor 🐉🇹🇼, since it seems like most people hate that movie, including probably Brendan Fraser himself. And it’s another Jet Li movie for them to do. That’s why he wants to make a fourth one so bad, so he can redeem himself, and so that the series won’t end on a bad note. But it’s pretty obvious why I chose A Good Day to Die Hard, it’s the last film in the Die Hard series and it’s considered the worst one. It singlehandedly killed the franchise, and there’s no hope of there ever being a sixth one to redeem it, at least with Bruce Willis since he retired from acting due to his worsening dementia. And it’s from the same director as Behind Enemy Lines, which I also added to the list, along with the sequels, Behind Enemy Lines: Axis of Evil, which has an opening narration by Keith David, who may or may not be in the rest of the film, Behind Enemy Lines: Colombia 🇨🇴, and SEAL Team 8: Behind Enemy Lines, which actually has Tom Sizemore in it.
I’ve got some movies that don’t really fit into any one category, but I would still like for Double Toasted 🍞 to consider doing anyway. The first one is Tank Girl, I think Tank Girl would be an interesting movie for them to do. It was a movie that didn’t do well at the box office when it originally came out and was panned by critics, but still developed a cult following anyway. It’d be interesting where it would land with the guys at Double Toasted 🍞, if it’d be a roast or a Retro Review. The second one is Red Planet, which is a Mars movie that no one really talks about anymore, if they ever did, but recently got a 4K release 💿 through Arrow Video. I’d be really interested to see what they think of that movie, if they like it or they hate it. The third one is 10,000 BC. I already listed a Roland Emmerich on here, Universal Soldier, and they’ve done a couple of Roland Emmerich movies already, Godzilla (1998) and Moonfall 🌕 (2022), and I think 10,000 BC would be a good one for them to review. I think they reviewed it back in the Spill days, so it would cool to see them give it the full roast treatment. Same goes for 2012 (2009), which is the movie Emmerich made immediately after 10,000 BC. Even the Independence Day movies would be fun for them to do, especially Independence Day: Resurgence, that one would make for an awesome roast. The next one is The Losers (2010), which is a movie they reviewed back in the Spill.com days, and gave a pretty negative review too. They made fun of the scene where Zoë Saldaña’s character uses a rocket launcher, saying that a woman of her size and stature would be able to fire a rocket launcher without knocking her back from the huge recoil that weapon would have.
Then, The A-Team (2010), which came out around the same time as The Losers (2010), came out the same year in fact, and I think Spill covered it, and if they did, they probably gave it a negative review because a lot of people didn’t like that movie. That one guy ♂︎ from JoBlo, Travis Hopson is the only one I know who actually likes The A-Team (2010). Then they could do Ghost Rider 🔥 (2007). They already did the second one, Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance 🔥, and they did Daredevil (2003) which was by the same director, so why not do Ghost Rider 🔥 (2007). And while we’re listing comic book superhero movies, let’s go for broke with Fantastic Four (2015). They already did the Tim Story Fantastic Four movies, or at least Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer, so they might as well do Fantastic Four (2015), give it the full roast treatment.
I’m honestly surprised they haven’t done Fantastic Four (2015) already, you’d think they would since it’s so obvious, it’s dying to be roasted since it is so disliked. Same thing with The New Mutants, I’m surprised that they haven’t done that movie yet, but they should. And last but not least, as far as the comic book movies go, Hulk (2003). I’ve done my own review of Hulk (2003) which you can go read on my blog right now, but I’d like to know what the guys ♂︎ at Double Toasted 🍞 think of it, do they like it or do they hate it? Would it be a roast or a Retro Review? I’d be really curious to know where they would play that movie since that movie did receive a lot of hate when it came out, and in the years after it came out, but it has had a bit of a resurgence with people actually saying they like it and praising it and defending it from all the naysayers. It’s reappraised by some people as one of the greatest comic book movies out there, a comic book movie that actually had something to say, and wasn’t just the generic MCU slop that we’ve all got used to watching over the past few years.
Lifeforce would be a good one, I’d like to see what they think of Lifeforce, especially since The Mummy (2017) kind of ripped it off. District 9 would be awesome, that would have to be a Retro Review since they gave it a “Better Than Sex” rating when they reviewed it back in the Spill.com days. I’d also like to see them review Neill Blomkamp’s other two movies, his other two sci-fi movies, Elysium and Chappie. Chappie might be a roast, but I’m not sure. I’m not entire sure what they think of that movie or Elysium. Super 8 (2011) would be good, it’s probably J. J. Abrams’s best movie. The 6th Day would be fun, that would definitely be a roast. Hollywood Homicide would be good, so would Knowing, Next (2007), and Bangkok Dangerous (2008), which they did review back in the day, and gave a pretty negative review to. Screamers (1995) would be good, so would Hancock and Skyline (both of which they reviewed on Spill), and its sequels, Beyond Skyline, Skylines, and Skyline: Warpath. Even After Earth 🌎 would be good, they need to do another M. Night Shyamalan movie after doing The Happening, and what better one to do than the one that got turned into a Will Smith vanity project where he tried to prop up his son, Jaden and turn him into a major movie star like him. Which didn’t work since the movie was bad, and no one liked it. Even Will Smith kind of regretted doing it in the years after. Lost in Space (1998), I’d love for them to do Lost in Space (1998). The Nostalgia Critic shouldn’t get to be the only major movie critic to review and make fun of that movie, let Double Toasted 🍞 come in and roast it.
Since I mentioned a space movie, I’d like to mention the two Rebel Moon movies, which are just one movie split into two parts. They’ve already done a Zack Snyder movie on Bad Movie Roast/Bad Movie Review, they did Sucker Punch, but Rebel Moon is the next one they’ve got to do, since those are considered his worst movies, the two Rebel Moon movies, which ruined his already tarnished reputation. I wonder if they’d do the PG-13 versions, the versions that were initially released, or if they would do the R rated director’s cuts, which have different titles, Chalice of Blood 🩸 and Curse of Forgiveness. I hope they do the R rated director’s cuts because those are the more complete versions of the movie, of the two parts. I almost forgot, I didn’t add these to the list, but Jupiter Ascending and Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets (another Luc Besson movie) would make for some awesome roasts, even though I do like Jupiter Ascending at least. They actually roasted a Wachowski movie already, Speed Racer (2008), which is a movie that people like and actually consider good even though it was a box office bomb 💣 and was critically panned when it came out. Supernova (2000) would another good one for them to cover, especially since Godzilla x Kong: Supernova is coming out next year. So, it would be fitting for them to talk about another movie called Supernova.
I did actually add the movie, Virus (1999) to my list, but I wasn’t sure where to place it in this post, which section to put it because I don’t know if it actually counts as a creature feature or not since it’s about killer robots. Okay, it’s technically about an alien 👽 made out of electricity ⚡️ that comes down, and takes over a Russian research vessel 🇷🇺🚢, kills most of the crew except for Nadia, and then starts building robot minions out of the mechanical parts and even the bodies of the crew that it finds lying around in the ship, and builds itself a robot body. It’s kind of like The Thing (1982), but with biomechanical robots made out of different pieces of machinery and human body parts. Or, I guess it’s like the movie, Moontrap, which Brandon Tenold so eloquently pointed out in his review of the movie. It’s also technically a comic book movie since it’s based on a Dark Horse Comic series. So, I’m going to put it here just to be safe. Pretty much every other major reviewer that I’ve watched or have heard of has done a review of Virus (1999), and I would really like it if Double Toasted 🍞 did their own review of the movie. There’s a lot of jokes they could make about that movie in a roast, especially about Donald Sutherland and his in and out Irish accent 🇮🇪, and how he gets taken over by the alien 👽 and turned into a cyborg, and then immediately dies after going up to the control room and confronting the main heroes.
Doom (2005) would be good, I’m surprised they haven’t done that one yet. Stealth would be good one, I’m sure they’d have some interesting things to say about that movie, they’d be able to make some funny jokes about that movie, especially Jamie Foxx, who plays a rather stereotypical black character, the typical black friend or black sidekick in a movie from the 2000s. It wasn’t a good role for him, and I’m sure Korey especially would have a lot to say about how Jamie Foxx’s character was portrayed in that movie. Poseidon (2006), even though I like that movie and will defend it, but Korey, Martin, and Billy are the only trio that could make roasting one of my favorite movies fun. Expend4bles is an obvious one, I’m surprised they haven’t done that one yet since they gave it such a negative review when it came out, and come to think of it, it is a Jason Statham movie, like literally, it is more of a Jason Statham movie than a Sylvester Stallone movie.
It’s more of his movie than it is Sly’s since Sly is gone for like 75% of the screen time, he’s barely in it. And Arnold Schwarzenegger isn’t it at all, neither is Bruce Willis, Jet Li, or even Harrison Ford, who replaced Bruce Willis in the third movie. I hope it’s the later since those are the more complete versions of the two parts. Silent Hill (2006) and Silent Hill: Revelation (which they did review during the Spill.com days). I was hoping they would do Silent Hill (2006) as a Retro Review since Return to Silent Hill came out, but they didn’t. But, hopefully they rectify this in the future, and then roast Silent Hill: Revelation because that would be awesome. And finally, I’ll Always Know What You Did Last Summer ☀️ and I Know What You Did Last Summer ☀️ (2025). Come on, those movies are begging to be roasted after they did I Still Know What You Did Summer ☀️ and they reviewed I Know What You Did Last Summer ☀️ (2025) as part of their regular series of new releases.
I’ve got a few comedic leaning movies I’d like for them do. Starting with the two Charlie’s Angels movies by McG, you know the ones starring Drew Barrymore, Lucy Liu, and Cameron Diaz. I am curious to know what they think of those movies, since those are movies that have gotten a lot of hate over the years, they weren’t exactly loved by critics at the time of their release, especially not the second one, Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle. But, they have gained a cult following in the years since their release, they have a loyal fanbase that loves both of them. They love them so much that they won’t accept any other Charlie’s Angels movies that doesn’t feature this specific trio of Drew Barrymore, Lucy Liu, and Cameron Diaz. That’s why the 2019 Charlie’s Angels movie with Kristen Stewart and directed by Elizabeth Banks got so much hate, people just didn’t want to accept a new version of Charlie’s Angels, and the movie itself wasn’t even that great. Even though the McG Charlie’s Angels movies aren’t technically great movies either, they’re still pretty entertaining and they are better than the 2019 movie in that regard. But, both movies would make for fun roasts. Then there’s the two Shanghai movies, Shanghai Noon and Shanghai Knights, where Jackie Chan was paired up with Owen Wilson in these two martial arts action comedies set during the 19th century. Shanghai Noon is set in the Old West 🤠, while Shanghai Knights is set in Victorian England 🏴. I mean they did The Tuxedo 🤵♂️, so why not?
Bulletproof Monk, which was yet another movie where Chow Yun-fat got cast in an action comedy that had to do with martial arts, even Chow Yun-fat wasn’t really known for doing martial arts back in Hong Kong 🇭🇰. He’s not a martial artist, and the action movies he did do back in Hong Kong 🇭🇰 were those John Woo type of gun movies. He was a shooter, not a fighter. And yet when he made the jump to Hollywood, they kept casting him in martial arts based movies, and Bulletproof Monk was no exception. Plus, it has that weird hot dog line 🌭 that everyone makes fun of when they see this movie, and it’s possibly the only scene people remember from this movie. Someone took a clip of it, and put it on YouTube, and that clip has gotten millions of views, and there are people who have seen that clip, who heard the hot dog line 🌭, and don’t even know where it’s from. But I do, and it’s from Bulletproof Monk. The old guy ♂︎ in that clip is Chow Yun-fat, wearing old age makeup because his character’s supposed to be immortal, or he was immortal, but he lost his immortality and became an old man. That’s why he looks like that. I did discover a song through that clip, “The Way You Dream 💭” by 1 Giant Leap. That’s the song that’s playing in the background of that scene.
I’m sure if Double Toasted 🍞 reviewed this movie, they would have plenty of jokes to say about the hot dog line 🌭. It could be the highlight of their whole review. Forbidden Kingdom would be a good one, you know the matchup between Jackie Chan and Jet Li. It’s just like when Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone teamed up in Escape Plan, only for the martial arts world. You gotta talk about it just for that, even if the rest of the movie outside of those two being on screen together and having that big fight isn’t that great. But that’s why it would be roast. Speaking of Jet Li, a movie I didn’t add to my list but thought of just now is Lethal Weapon 4. That movie is roastable material, because it’s often seen as the weakest film in the Lethal Weapon series, despite being the last (or perhaps because it’s the last), and it kind of has a lot of Asian racism, a lot of Asian stereotypes in it. Like, the amount of racist Asian jokes in this movie puts Rush Hour movies to shame. Or perhaps the movie that Lethal Weapon 4 was made to compensate for, The Avengers (1998), that one would make for an awesome roast because it’s just so weird and so bad. I haven’t seen it, but everyone who’s watched the says it’s pretty bad. Calvin Dyson considers it the worst movie he’s ever reviewed on his channel.
Then there’s Home Alone 4. I think they did Home Alone 3 already, as a roast, so I think they should do Home Alone 4 next at some point because it is so much worse than Home Alone 3. That movie makes Home Alone 3, and even the recent Home Alone movie on Disney+, Home Sweet Home Alone (which they did release when it was a new release), look like masterpieces by comparison. Like Home Alone 3 and Home Sweet Home Alone might as well be the first Home Alone and Home Alone 2: Lost in New York when compared to Home Alone 4. That’s how bad it is. And what makes it worse is that the kid in the movie is supposed to be Kevin McCallister, and the bandit in the movie (played by the same actor who played one of the soldiers in Stargate and played Inspector Gadget in Inspector Gadget 2) is supposed to be Marv, even though the actors they chose to play those characters in the movie look nothing like the actors in first two Home Alone movies, and the characters are written nothing like how they were written in those movies.
So, it has to be roasted, ideally during Christmastime 🎄 because most of the Home Alone movies (even the bad ones) are Christmas movies 🎄. I think the only one that isn’t is Home Alone 3, which makes it the odd one out besides the fact that it focuses on a completely different kid from Kevin, and the Wet Bandits aren’t in it at all. Planet 51, which is an animated movie they reviewed back in the day, on Spill, that one would make for a fun roast. Furry Vengeance 🦝, which they also covered on Spill back in the day, and is the movie that broke Brendan Fraser and ended his career for awhile until The Whale 🐋 brought it back in 2022, starting the Breniassance, which hasn’t really materialized the way people thought it would when people were hyping up The Whale 🐋. My Favorite Martian 👽 (1999), which is a movie that I like, but is not a movie that gets talked about that much anymore. It would be fun to see Korey, Martin, and Billy roast it. I’ll even throw in Coneheads, even though I didn’t have it on my list.
And last but not least, I’ve got Evolution (2001). I’ve added a lot of movies from 2001 on this list haven’t I, or I’ve talked about a lot of movies from 2001 on here haven’t I? I’d be very interested to hear what they have to say about Evolution (2001), considering it’s directed by Ivan Reitman, and it’s trying to be like Ghostbusters. That’s basically what Evolution (2001) is, or what it’s trying to be, it’s trying to be Ghostbusters but with aliens 👽. Alienators if you will, which is the name of the animated series that followed it, or one of the titles anyway since the animated series has two alternate titles: Alienators: Evolution Continues and just Evolution: The Animated Series. Even though we already have a sci-fi equivalent to Ghostbusters with aliens 👽, it’s called Men in Black. That reminds me, I’d like to see them do one of the Men in Black movies as either a roast or a Retro Review. They could do Men in Black as a Retro Review, and then either Men in Black II or Men in Black: International as a roast. I’m sure they’d have a lot to say about Orlando Jones, and how his character was written and how he was portrayed. How he’s kind of just the stereotypical funny black man ♂︎, and he’s the one that gets an alien parasite stuck up his ass and needs to have it pulled out of him, basically being humiliated.
Not only that, but he gets sucked up into an alien 👽’s asshole, like they’re trying to spray the selenium dandruff shampoo (Head & Shoulders brand) into the creature’s rectum, Harry Block (that’s Orlando Jones’s character)’s the one manning the hose, spraying the shampoo into the creature’s rectum, and while he’s doing it, the creature clinches its butthole and sucks Harry into it. So, twice he gets humiliated in this movie, and both times it had to do with asses. Why did they do much ass stuff with Orlando Jones in this movie? They just let him come out of this movie with his dignity intact could they? They were going to humiliate him a third time at the very end of the movie, by having him get out of bed 🛏️ from a bad dream 💭, and then as he’s walking to the bathroom 🚽, we see his butt has gotten enlarged, implying the alien parasite 👽 he got stuck in his ass earlier in the movie implanted something in him, like it laid an egg (or laid eggs) inside of his body, now he looks like Carl in the “Who’s Your Mommy?” episode of The Adventures of Jimmy Neutron. And then the scene was going to end with him closing the door 🚪 and him screaming from behind the door 🚪, presumably from seeing his big swollen ass, and that was going to be the end of the movie, instead of that Head & Shoulders commercial they actually ended up going with.
Thankfully they did change the ending, and Harry didn’t get humiliated a third time, and again with something involving asses, in this case, his ass…again. They’d also probably have things to say about Julianne Moore being the klutzy scientist 👩🔬, Dr. Allison Reed, who’s always falling on her face or bumping into doors instead of opening them, and Seann William Scott as this idiot guy ♂︎, Wayne Gray who wants to be a fireman 👨🚒, and just starts tagging along with Ira (who is David Duchovny’s character) and Harry, and is pretty much everywhere where the plot needs him to be. He shouldn’t be that important of a character, but he is for some reason, and sure the guys ♂︎ at Double Toasted 🍞 would have some things to say about that. Oh, wouldn’t you know? I added two movies with Seann William Scott in them, this movie and Bulletproof Monk. He’s the one who says the hot dog line 🌭 at the end of that movie, he’s the one who gave us that gift.
Truly the saving grace of that movie, the best thing about it are the creatures and the creature design. I like the concept of the creatures, how they’re these rapidly evolving aliens 👽 that evolve into various different creatures of various shapes and sizes, creating an entire ecosystem in and around the impact crater of the meteor ☄️ they all came down on when they were just tiny microbes. What took life on Earth 🌎 millions of years to achieve, they manage to do in three weeks. Threatening the Earth 🌎 in the process, since they’re an invasive species, and the more they adapt to Earth 🌎’s environment, the more they threaten to usurp life on Earth 🌎, and essentially replace it. That’s why these aliens 👽 are a threat, even though they’re just animals, although they did plan on having the aliens 👽 evolve into more intelligent beings, before they decided to change the ending and have the characters fight a giant amoeba instead. A giant amoeba with an asshole that only exists to have fart jokes and to have Orlando Jones get sucked into.
There’s another alien 👽 in the movie, a crab-like creature 🦀 that also has an ass. It has ass cheeks in the back of its head, just two human-looking butt cheeks, and it’s only there so the movie can make a butt joke and have Harry ask Ira about Dr. Reed and whether he has feelings for her or not. Like, Harry’s basically comparing Dr. Reed’s ass to the creature’s ass, and that’s basically the whole joke. Ladies, if you’re reading this, how would you feel if some guy ♂︎ compared your ass to an alien crab creature 👽🦀’s? But anyway, it’s such a cool and original concept. I haven’t seen aliens 👽 like these in another science fiction story before or since, like they took the concept of evolution by natural selection, and then sped it up to have it play out in a timeframe that humans can perceive, and had it play with aliens 👽 that arrived here on a meteor ☄️, by accident. The aliens 👽 aren’t really evil, they’re just doing what they naturally do, what they evolved to do in that short period of time that they’ve been on Earth 🌎 and have adapted to our living conditions.
It’s like if we dropped a bunch of microbes from Earth 🌎 onto another planet, and then just had them evolve, and if there was already life on there on that other planet, then the lifeforms that evolved from the microbes that came from Earth 🌎 overtake the native life, that’s essentially what’s happening in this movie. Only our heroes manage to put a stop it before it really got out of hand, especially thanks to the military dropping napalm on the aliens 👽, causing them to merge together into a giant amoeba…with an anus. That’s why I didn’t like the animated series and what they did with the aliens 👽. They not only made them a singular species called the Genus, but they also made them evil, and they intentionally landed on Earth 🌎 to try to invade it and take it over. They even added a leader, they gave the Genus a leader named Scopes, who’s the stupidest villain I’ve ever seen in an animated show based on a movie. They didn’t need all that, they didn’t need to add all that to make the aliens 👽 interesting, they were interesting enough when they were different species that happened to evolve from the same microbes.
If anything it made them less interesting that they’re just standard alien invaders 👽 trying to take over the Earth 🌎, rather than being an animals that came here by accident, and became invasive species because they’re creatures that are not of this world, even if they try to evolve to live on this planet. It’s a shame then that these awesome creatures are stuck in a middle of the road comedy movie from the early 2000s. I’m sure the guys ♂︎ at Double Toasted 🍞 would have plenty of things to say about why this movie didn’t resonate with people the same way Ghostbusters did, and why it didn’t get any sequels outside of that animated series which wasn’t very good, since I do think they’re all Ghostbusters fans. Korey and Martin like Ghostbusters, or at least they like the first one from 1984, and not really any of the sequels, or that failed reboot/spinoff in 2016 that caused all kinds of controversy online because it had an all-female cast ♀︎, an all-female Ghostbusters team ♀︎. I imagine they probably don’t like Evolution (2001), and most of what they have to say about it is pretty negative. That’s why it’ll probably be a roast if they ever do it. My Super Ex-Girlfriend would be another good one for them to roast even if I didn’t add it to my list and didn’t think to add it while I was putting it together, since it’s another Ivan Reitman movie, it’s Ivan Reitman’s last movie before he retired from directing, and it’s considered one of his worst, if not his worst.
This provides an excellent transition to talking about more creature type movies, which will be the last section of this post. I’m going to start with one that’s going to be in the CoMiC post as well, and was probably in the Brandon post as well, The Host (2006). It should be obvious why I picked that one. Not only is it a good movie and I really like it, but it’s directed by Bong Joon-ho, who’s a South Korean director 🇰🇷, whose status has risen in recent years because he directed the 2019 South Korean drama thriller 🇰🇷, Parasite, which was critically acclaimed and won him an Oscar for Best Director and itself won an Oscar for Best Picture. One of the few foreign films to ever win Best Picture at the Oscar’s instead of just Best Foreign Film. He most recently directed Mickey 17 last year, which is his second American 🇺🇸 or English language movie after Snowpiercer ❄️ in 2014. But, The Host (2006) is one of those movies that gets overlooked when talking about this director and his work, and I just don’t think that’s fair. Not only was it my introduction to Bong Joon-ho’s work, but it was a lot of other people’s, whether they knew it or not. I knew about this guy ♂︎ before Parasite (2019), I have the pleasure of saying that.
I mean, who knew that the guy ♂︎ directed this pretty awesome monster movie, this pretty awesome creature feature, would go into direct a movie that would take the world by storm. Parasite (2019) was a global sensation when it came out, that can’t be understated enough for people weren’t there to witness it or just weren’t really paying attention at the time. The hype surrounding that movie was hard for me to ignore because I frequent the movie space on YouTube, and it was the talk of the town for a while. And while that movie was getting all the hype, I couldn’t help but feel that The Host (2006) was being ignored and forgotten about even though it was directed by the same guy ♂︎ and features the same lead actor, since Bong Joon-ho likes to collaborate with that particular actor a lot on his movies. So for those reasons, I think that’s Double Toasted 🍞 should cover it on the channel one day as a Retro Review. Especially now because it’s the 20th anniversary of that movie. And also because it’s just a kick ass movie, like who knew South Korea 🇰🇷 had it in them? This is a better example of a South Korean monster movie 🇰🇷 (or just South Korean cinema 🇰🇷 in general) than either of Hyung-rae Shim’s movies, Yonggary (1999) or Dragon Wars 🐉.
The next one up is Mega Shark Versus Giant Octopus 🦈🐙, which is the movie that I’m reviewing for my 199th post, but haven’t been able to do yet because I have no Internet 🛜 🤷♂️. I’m sure they’d get a kick out of this one just as they would Sharknado 🦈🌪️, which is kind of overdone, which is why I’m recommending this one instead of that one. In fact, I’d like them to do all of the Mega Shark 🦈 movies, Mega Shark Versus Giant Octopus 🦈🐙, Mega Shark Versus Crocosaurus 🦈🐊, Mega Shark Versus Mecha Shark 🦈, and Mega Shark Versus Kolossus 🦈, four movies in total. I’d also like to see them do all the Sharktopus 🦈🐙 movies, Sharktopus 🦈🐙, Sharktopus vs. Pteracuda 🦈🐙, and Sharktopus vs. Whalewolf 🦈🐙🐺. It’s a whole trilogy. Hammerhead: Shark Frenzy 🦈 AKA Sharkman 🦈 AKA Hammerhead, that one would fun for them to do, if only for Jeffery Combs’s performance as the evil mad scientist 👨🔬, Dr. King.
I’m sure Korey would make jokes about sharing the same name as Martin Luthor King since he was often to as Dr. King. And while we’re still on the shark movies 🦈, the other Jason Statham movie I was alluding to was Meg 2: The Trench 🦈, which is another one that I’m surprised they haven’t done yet, but they can rectify that in the future. Shark Attack 3: Megalodon 🦈 would be fun, there’s a lot of fun roastable stuff in that movie that Korey, Martin, and Billy could make something out of, and they wouldn’t have to review Shark Attack 🦈 (1999) or Shark Attack 2 🦈, since Shark Attack 3 🦈 really has nothing to do with the first two, other than it’s a shark movie 🦈. The type of shark 🦈 is different since the first two movies are about Great White sharks 🦈, while Shark Attack 3 🦈 is about a Megalodon 🦈. It says it in the title. Although it would be cool if they did Shark Attack 🦈 (1999), if only for Ernie Hudson, who plays the main villain in that movie. Here’s a couple of killer fish movies 🐟 that aren’t about sharks 🦈, Piranha 3D and its sequel, Piranha 3DD. I think they reviewed both movies when each of them came out back in the Spill.com, so it’d be cool for them to revisit them as part of the roast.
I didn’t add this one to the list, but it would interesting if they talked about The Great Wall with Matt Damon, because it’s a perfect example of how Hollywood tried so desperately to appeal to China 🇨🇳, even though they ended up doing a white savior movie to do it since that’s basically what The Great Wall is. It’s a white savior movie since Matt Damon’s character is the hero and he’s the one that leads these Chinese people 🇨🇳 to victory against the Tao Tei, which are actual creatures from Chinese mythology 🇨🇳, although they changed them here to be aliens 👽 that came down in a meteor ☄️, to I guess make them more realistic 🤷♂️? And it counts as a creature movie, it has creatures. The creatures are the main threat in the movie that the characters are facing and trying to take down.
Then we have The Eden Formula AKA Tyrannosaurus Wrecks, which is a cheap ass dinosaur movie that was directed by John Carl Buechler, the same director as Troll 🧌 (1986), and Jeff Fahey, Dee Wallace, and Tony Todd somehow got wrapped up into. It would be worth for the guys ♂︎ at Double Toasted 🍞 to roast this one, if only for the bad effects on the T. rex. While we’re on dinosaur movies, A Sound of Thunder ⚡️ would be pretty fun, if one for Ben Kingsley’s bad hair (or rather wig), and the bad effects, which are inexcusable for a movie that cost $80 million 💵. Next up are the Boa and Python movies, Python (2000), Pythons 2, New Alcatraz AKA Boa (2002), and Boa vs. Python. While we’re on snake and reptile movies 🐍🦎, Curse of the Komodo and Komodo vs. Cobra 🐍. King Cobra 🐍 (1999), which features Pat Morita, the same actor who played Mr. Miyagi in the original Karate Kid 🥋 movies.
Alligator 🐊, another movie with Robert Forrester on this list, and its sequel, Alligator II: The Mutation 🐊. Primeval 🐊 (2007), another movie with Orlando Jones that I’m sure Korey will criticize for how he’s written and portrayed. Lake Placid and Lake Placid vs. Anaconda. and Mega Python vs. Gatoroid 🐍🐊. Bats 🦇 (1999) would be fun, I learned it’s from the same director as Carnosaur 2 thanks to CoMiC. Prophecy (1979), if only for the sleeping bag kill. The Wolfman 🐺 (2010) would be pretty cool, I remember they gave it a pretty negative review during the Spill. com days, and it’s a movie that still gets hated on to this day, even it has built up a strong cult following in the years after its original release. The Cave (2005), not much more to say, I’d really like them to cover that movie because it looks pretty cool. The two King Kong remakes, King Kong (1976) and King Kong (2005) would both pretty interesting for them, like it would be to see each one would be placed, as either roasts or Retro Reviews. And it would be interesting to see what they have to say about each.
Rawhead Rex would be pretty fun, even I didn’t originally add to my list, nor did I even consider it as a possibility for Double Toasted 🍞 to review on their channel. And last but certainly not least, Predator 2, which is directed by same guy ♂︎ who would go onto direct Lost in Space (1998), and the two Alien vs. Predator movies, Alien vs. Predator (2004) and Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem, which was directed by the same brother duo that would go onto direct the first Skyline movie and produce the sequels, which people actually like better than the first one despite them being direct-to-Blu-Ray 💿 movies, the Brothers Strause. They’ve done The Predator, as a two-parter no less, so why not do Predator 2 and the two Alien vs. Predator movies? They could do Predator 2 as a Retro Review and the two Alien vs. Predator movies as roasts, even though I personally like both of them. Yes, even Requiem. I wrote reviews for them that you can go read on my blog right now if you want.
Comments
Post a Comment