My Thoughts on “Greenland 2: Migration π¬π±”
Note: This was originally written from Sunday January 18, 2026 to Friday January 23,2026, and wasn’t posted until after the 199th post and 200th post.
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(This is the poster for Greenland 2: Migration π¬π±.)
I’m going to do something a little different with this review, and a few of the other posts I plan to write for the month of January (however many days are left at this point). Because I still haven’t done either my 199th post and 200th post, I’m going to write this review early in advance, and then post it after I do my 199th post and my 200th post. So, rest assured, even if I haven’t posted anything since my Venezuela post π»πͺ, I am still writing stuff. And I will post them in due time, after I do my 199th post and 200th post. The one that’s really holding me up is my 199th post. I have been unsuccessful at finding the 4K steelbook πΏ of Anaconda (1997). I was hoping it find it at Walmart on payday last Wednesday (January 14, 2026) because they sell steelbooks, but it wasn’t there, at least not at the one we went to. I found a 4K steelbook πΏ of Riddick (2013) though, and I think it’s a Walmart exclusive because I tried looking it up on Amazon, but it wasn’t there. They just had the standard 4K πΏ. I didn’t buy it because I still have my mind set on Anaconda (1997), and I wanted to save my money π΅ for something else…like yellow sticky notes and black Sharpie markers, which were actually pretty cheap. The sticky notes were only $4 π΅ and the Sharpies were only 97¢ πͺ. It helps that the sticky notes were Walmart brand, and not the name brand Post-it ones, and there were only two black Sharpies in that pack that I got.
If I ever go back to that Walmart, or if it’s there at any of the other Walmarts I go to, I’ll get that Riddick (2013) 4K steelbook πΏ because I do plan on reviewing that movie sometime in the future. But first, I’ll have to buy Pitch Black and The Chronicles of Riddick on 4K πΏ, you know, because those were the first two Riddick movies, and they came before Riddick (2013). The animated Riddick movie, The Chronicles of Riddick: Dark Fury, which is really more of a short film isn’t available in HD, Blu-Ray πΏ or 4K πΏ, or even streaming, and is only available on DVD π, in SD. So, if I review that one, I’ll have to buy it on DVD π, or check to see if anyone uploaded it to YouTube.
BTW, did you know Dark Fury was done by Peter Chung, the Korean-American animator πΊπΈπ°π· who created the MTV series, Γon Flux, and directed the Matriculated short in The Animatrix (being the only non-Japanese animator π―π΅ to contribute a short to that movie), as well as the three part episode of the GameTap series, Revisioned: Tomb Raider called Keys to the Kingdom, which is my favorite episode of that entire series, and probably my favorite Tomb Raider thing overall, which is funny considering Peter Chung wasn’t even fan of Tomb Raider and knew nothing about it when he was asked to direct an episode of Revisioned: Tomb Raider. This guy ♂︎ is an amazing animator, his art style looks incredible. Very anime inspired, yes, but also very Western and very Korean π°π·. He brought some of his Korean influences π°π· to his work as well, it’s very much anime inspired animation but from a Korean point-of-view π°π·. So, you know it’s going to be good, although the Wikipedia page says that it got mixed reviews when it came out.
As for Anaconda (1997), I’m going to see if it’s available on streaming, I hope it’s available on streaming, and then I’ll order the 4K steelbook πΏ online on Amazon, if I don’t find it at a brick and mortar store like Walmart, or even Barnes & Noble, because they sell movies at Barnes & Noble, first. Even if it’s only available to rent or buy, I’ll still do it. I’ll ask my aunt to rent it for me just like she did with A Loud House Christmas Movie: Naughty or Nice π. I was only able to review that movie because of her, and her willing to rent it for me on her Amazon Prime account. And if it’s not available on streaming at all anywhere, then it’s okay because I got a backup movie. It’s Mega Shark Versus Giant Octopus π¦π. Yes, they really did just spell out the whole word “versus,” all of the titles of all the Mega Shark π¦ movies are like that.
I was thinking of reviewing Mega Shark Versus Giant Octopus π¦π at some point anyway, but I was originally thinking of doing it as part of one long post, with all the Mega Shark π¦ movies. Just like what Cody did with the Sharknado π¦πͺ️ movies on his PointlessHub channel, he reviewed all of them in the same video. But, I am willing to review it separately, and review the sequels later, if I can’t review Anaconda (1997) for my 199th post. I’ll just review Mega Shark Versus Giant Octopus π¦π for my 199th post instead, and then review Anaconda (1997) as a regular post when I’m able to acquire it. You’ll know which one I picked when I post it because it will go up before this one.
The reason why I’m doing it this way, and reviewing this movie in advance before I write either my 199th post or 200th post is that we made plans to see this movie in theaters. My grandma suggested that we see a movie this weekend, just to do something fun, and since we hadn’t been to a movie in a long time. Every time we go to Albuquerque, it always to do shopping, usually for things we need around the house like paper towels, toilet paper AKA bath tissue (that’s what my grandma likes to call it), flushable wipes, disinfectant wipes, hand soap, dish soap, laundry detergent, softener, bleach, dryer sheets, and Kleenex tissue, the kind that you use for your nose π. Either that, or we buy personal hygiene stuff like lotion π§΄, deodorant, shampoo, conditioner, body wash, and of course my grandma has all her more feminine hygiene products ♀︎ like makeup, eyeliner, hair dye (hair dye is gender neutral, but she’s the one who mostly uses it around our house), and maxi pads. I have a couple things that I buy for myself like hydrocortisone anti-cream for my eczema (because I have eczema) and foot cream, specifically Dr. Teal’s Foot Cream because I have calluses on my toes and feet π¦Ά. We hardly ever get to do anything fun, besides just eating at a restaurant, which is what we always do before we go shopping. So, I suppose my grandma felt that it was time for us to do something fun, no business, just something fun. And she chose to go to a movie because going to the theater is fun, we used to do that all the time before the pandemic π¦ π·.
The pandemic changed our spending and recreational habits, as it did everyone else, and we used to go to the movies on a petty regular basis, but after the pandemic π¦ π·, we hardly ever go at all. That damn virus π¦ completely rewired everyone’s brains π§ , and accelerated inflation, so now movie theaters are more expensive, tickets and concessions are more expensive, and people are conditioned now to just stay home and watch movies, instead of driving out to go see a movie in a theater. Netflix, and all the other streaming services are the biggest beneficiaries of the COVID-19 pandemic π¦ π· as far as the entertainment industry goes, which makes them evil π in my eyes π , and of course, movie theater chains are the biggest losers. They’ve recovered a little bit, but it’s nothing compared to pre-pandemic π¦ π· attendance and spending. That’s the reason why I barely saw any movies last year, because the theaters are more expensive now, and we just didn’t have the money π΅ or time to go. We just couldn’t gather the funds or make the time to go. Whenever we did have the money π΅ or time, the movie we wanted to see wasn’t out anymore. So, all the movies I want to see last year, I ended up having to wait until they were on streaming and on Blu-Ray πΏ. Even then, I still didn’t catch everything I wanted to see, and I’ll have to watch them and review them a year later.
I still have not see Jurassic World Rebirth, Sinners (2025), and of course, Nobody 2, and a few other movies, but those are the main ones. Me not seeing Nobody 2 is part of the reason why review schedule is thrown off, and why the number of posts created is different from the number published, because for whatever reason, I still haven’t been able to review it. That movie alludes me. I still want to watch it, I still want to review it, I watched the first one, and I liked it, but I just haven’t gotten the chance to. I’ll probably end up having to watch it either on streaming or I’ll have to order the 4K πΏ online. Hopefully, I’ll review it before Bob Odenkirk’s next action movie vehicle, Normal (2025) comes out, which is in fact a 2026 release despite it being called Normal (2025). It being released at a film festival last year doesn’t count. Normal (2025), is or will be a 2026 movie. Just like Primate is 2026 movie even though it came out last year at a film festival. Primate is only able to skirt by a little bit because it was released at the beginning of the year in January, but Normal (2025) is getting released on April 17, 2026, which is much further into the year than January 9, 2026, which is when Primate was released. So, Normal (2025) is even more of a 2026 movie than Primate is, and Primate still is a 2026 movie in my eyes. More on that later, because it is relevant to the conversation related to this movie.
So, I had to pick a movie that both of us could enjoy because we usually like to go to the movies together. Not just we like each other’s company, but because it saves us money π΅ on concessions. It’s kind of rare that we each go see different movie separately from the other, we used to do that all the time, but ever since the pandemic π¦ π·, we haven’t done that. Without my grandpa, my grandma gets very lonely, and doesn’t like doing things by herself. That’s why I almost always go to Albuquerque with her, even if we’re just going down to do an errand. When I don’t go with her, she usually has her sister, my other grandma by her side. Either way, she never goes down by herself, and is always with someone, someone in the family. Most people, except my dad, my dad hardly goes with us anywhere, unless it’s just to buy weed, or buy bike parts π², because he owns a bunch of bikes π² that found throughout the neighborhood, and fixes bikes π² and customizes them. He was telling me, when we went to my nephew’s laughing party (which is a Navajo tradition) that he wasn’t to open a bike repair shop π², and run it outside of our house, but so far he hasn’t done it. Just like how he said he was going to teach me how to drive, and still hasn’t done it yet. So, we’ll see, on both of those π€¨. I’m 27 years old now, and I still don’t know how to drive, or have a driver’s license πͺͺ. It’s not because of my cerebral palsy, my disability is not at all limitation on my ability to drive, especially because I have a very mild form of cerebral palsy. It’s just that my dad won’t teach me despite saying that he will. I don’t know what he’s waiting for, I’m ready when he is.
We couldn’t go see Avatar: Fire and Ash π₯ because neither of us are particularly into Avatar, and I heard kind of mixed things about this one anyway. A lot more mixed things than the previous two Avatar movies. The only thing people seemed to agree on and praise was the visual effects and the motion capture, which is par for the course for the Avatar franchise. Not to be confused with the Nickelodeon Avatar franchise, which I suppose is called the Last Airbender π¨ franchise, while the James Cameron one is called the James Cameron’s Avatar franchise. Although none of the Avatar movies are called James Cameron’s Avatar, they’re just called Avatar, and whatever subtitle Cameron comes with. Which one being stupider and more pretentious than the last. The Way of Water π¦, Fire and Ash π₯, what’s the next one going to be called (and make no mistake, there is going to be another one)? Dust in the Wind? It seems like Cameron is trying to subtly but not subtly copy the Nickelodeon Avatar series, which he stole the title from, by making each movie about each of the four elements: water π¦, fire π₯, earth πͺ¨, air π¨. So far, he’s done water π¦ and fire π₯, all he needs to do is earth πͺ¨ and air π¨. So, the next one could be called Avatar: Dust in the Wind, combining the two.
I’m sure it’s going to be another story about Jake and Neytiri and their kids (as well as a dumb new human character named Spider, who’s the son of the main villain from the first Avatar movie, Colonel Miles Quaritch π) visiting another Na’Vi that specializes in one of the four elements, and then the humans attack and make a mess of things, and Jake, Neytiri, their kids, and Spider (π) have to use whatever knowledge they gleaned from the new Na’Vi tribe for this movie (that won’t be brought up in the following movie) to defeat the humans and their army of mechs and Avatar warriors (including a resurrected or cloned Quaritch). That’s the formula of these Avatar sequels in a nutshell. Cameron’s practically got this down to a science. And it still works since these movies still somehow make billions of dollars π΅, despite seemingly no one really liking them or being particularly enthusiastic about them outside of the CGI and motion capture, and then just forget about months after they come out.
We couldn’t go see The SpongeBob Movie: Search for SquarePants 𧽠because my grandma is both not into animated movies or SpongeBob π§½. I mean, she likes SpongeBob π§½, but not enough to actually see a new movie about him in the theater. She likes SpongeBob 𧽠in the same way she likes Mickey Mouse π, or Bugs Bunny π°, or even Scooby-Doo, she just sees it as kids stuff that isn’t worth her time, unless she’s trying to entertain one of the younger grandkids, like her great grandson, who is my younger cousin’s son, and is also my nephew. We couldn’t go see The Housemaid (2025), and yes, there is more than one more movie called The Housemaid out there. There’s a 2010 South Korean psychological comedy thriller π°π· called The Housemaid that is very similar to the 2025 American movie πΊπΈ actually (I wonder if this movie ripped off that movie, or if the author of the novel π ripped it off. Because it’s a romantic drama thriller ❤️, I guess you could call it that. The Wikipedia describes it more as an “erotic psychological thriller.” A trashy chick flick ♀︎ based on an equally trashy book π, and I’m not really into those, and it stars Sydney Sweeney, and I kind of don’t like her.
Plus, it’s directed by Paul Feig, and he directed Ghostbusters (2016), which wasn’t very good from what I heard. And I say that as someone who considers themselves a feminist ♀︎, who holds many feminist ideals ♀︎ including equality between the sexes (and other genders), female empowerment and independence ♀︎, and the dismantling of the Patriarchy. Just because you’re a feminist ♀︎, and believe in feminist ideals ♀︎, and just because a lot of the online backlash against the movie was fueled by sexism (and homophobia since a lot of people thought the director was gay ⚣, including myself since I originally put that he was gay ⚣, until I checked and found out that he is straight ⚤ and has a wife) doesn’t mean you have to force yourself to like Ghostbusters (2016). It’s just a bad movie, regardless of who made it, who was in it, and what message it was trying to send.
I mean, who made it does matter since it tells you whether to check out this director’s other work or to avoid it. And in the case of Paul Feig, it’s to avoid it since he’s made a bunch of bad movies, not just Ghostbusters (2016), though that is his most high profile movie. He made Spy (2015) for crying out loud, and that movie wasn’t very good. It was like Get Smart (2008), but somehow way worse. He also made The Heat, Another Simple Favor, Jackpot!, and Last Christmas π, all of which received mixed reviews. The only two movies of his that have received universal acclaim are Bridesmaids and A Simple Favor, which is what Another Simple Favor was a sequel to. He’s been making some of the most Ryan Murphy shit I’ve ever seen lately. It’s like him and Ryan Murphy are competing with each other to see who can be the white Tyler Perry, or the Jewish Tyler Perry ✡️ in the case of Paul Feig.
We couldn’t go see Anaconda (2025) because my grandma is afraid of snakes π, and we couldn’t go see Primate either because she’s not into horror films or creature features in general. Same goes for Killer Whale π« (2026), which came out last Friday on January 16, 2025, two days after my grandma’s payday, and the day before we ended up seeing Greenland 2: Migration π¬π±. We went into the Route 66 Casino Hotel on Friday, first to deliver some excess vegetables to another one of my grandmas (she’s my main grandma’s aunt), and then to play on the slot machines π°. Although, I ate at the Stadium 66 restaurant before I went to play. I won $20 π΅ π. So, all three of those movies were out. So, the only logical option was Greenland 2: Migration π¬π±, which I completely forgot about until I downloaded the Cinemark app on my phone π±, and checked to see what movies were currently playing, and would be playing by the time my grandma got paid and we planned to go see a movie. I had to go back and edit my 2025 New Year’s Eve Message to include Greenland 2 π¬π± as one of the movies I was looking forward or was interested in seeing in the year 2026. The only problem was that neither of us had seen the first Greenland π¬π± movie from 2020.
I was willing to watch Greenland 2 π¬π± before watching Greenland π¬π± (2020), it wouldn’t be the first time I watched the sequel to something before watching the previous ones. I started watching the Dark Knight trilogy in backwards order, starting The Dark Knight Rises (which I saw in theaters), The Dark Knight (which I first watched on TV), and Batman Begins (which I first watched on Blu-Ray πΏ, or DVD π I don’t exactly remember). but my aunt insisted that we watch Greenland π¬π± (2020) before we watched Greenland 2 π¬π± in the theater. So, we went out of our way to see Greenland π¬π± (2020) before we saw Greenland 2 π¬π±. I had already had added Greenland π¬π± (2020) to my list of things to review, so this was my opportunity to finally watch it and review it after putting it off so long. I wanted to buy it on Blu-Ray πΏ before watching it, can you blame me? But now, I had no excuse to keep waiting to watch it because we were about to watch the sequel, and we needed to know what happened in the first one to truly understand what happened in the sequel.
So, I have seen Greenland π¬π± (2020) already, but I won’t review it until I after finish writing this review. I just wanted to watch it first to get caught up in time for Greenland 2 π¬π±, and to enjoy it before I’d actually have to review it. I plan on re-watching it before my review, so that I can be refreshed about it in my mind, and pay closer attention to it than I did on my first initial viewing. Just know that I liked it, I thought it was good, and it’s now one of my favorite asteroid/comet movies ☄️, what few of them there are. I will mention some things about the first one in this review that I think are relevant to the conversation about this movie since it is a sequel, and there are a few things about that movie that I want to say right now, and don’t want to wait to say until I actually start writing my review because it might be out of my mind by then. And some of the things that apply to that movie apply to this movie as well. There is some overlap between these two movies. But, I don’t want my reviews of Greenland 2 π¬π± and Greenland π¬π± (2020) to be my 199th post and my 200th post, I still want it to either be Anaconda (1997) and The Simpsons Movie, or Mega Shark Versus Giant Octopus ππ¦ and The Simpsons Movie, because I reviewed Deep Blue Sea for my 99th post before reviewing The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie 𧽠for my 100th post.
I want to make that tradition to review a creature feature before the main event, the real milestone post, which are going to be animated movies from my childhood. That wasn’t intentional, it’s just that the movies I’ve picked for my big milestone posts have all been animated movies I grew up with: The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie π§½, The Simpsons Movie, and Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius. I actually had originally intended to do Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius for my 200th post, but I couldn’t get the Blu-Ray πΏ in time, and I didn’t feel like asking my aunt to buy or rent it for me on streaming, so I’m going to make it my 300th post instead, and I’ve moved The Simpsons Movie up to my 200th post. So, in order to break that order, that tradition that I’m trying to make, I decided to review Greenland 2 π¬π± early in advance, while it was still fresh in my mind, and then post it later until after I’ve done my 199th post and 200th post. Same goes for my review of Greenland π¬π± (2020) and any other post I may write before posting my 199th post and 200th post. That’s why I did it this way.
It’s funny that Greenland 2 π¬π± came out this month, and we’re talking about it and the first one considering that Greenland π¬π± is in the news again, and Trump keeps talking about wanting to buy it, or invade it if Denmark π©π° doesn’t sell it to him. Threats that only became more real after he invaded Venezuela π»πͺ on Saturday January 3, 2026, and kidnapped its leader, NicolΓ‘s Maduro and his wife, Cilia Flores and brought them to the US πΊπΈ to stand trial for fake drug trafficking charges. And Trump started threatening other countries with military force, including Cuba π¨πΊ, Colombia π¨π΄, Mexico π²π½, and of course, Greenland π¬π±, which isn’t its own country, it’s a semi-autonomous territory of Denmark π©π°, even though the people who live in Greenland π¬π± want the territory to be independent. And the plot of the first Greenland π¬π± movie is about the US πΊπΈ building bunkers in Greenland π¬π± to shelter American citizens πΊπΈ from the comet impact, and the second movie is about the people who sheltered inside those bunkers having to leave because the bunkers were destroyed by earthquakes that were caused by the comet’s impact (I guess π€·♂️), and the environment outside, in Greenland π¬π± (and in most of the world) has become too inhospitable for them.
The US πΊπΈ managed to do all that just with the existing alliance structure and treaties we have with Denmark π©π° and the rest of the NATO alliance. We already have military bases in Greenland π¬π±, we signed a treaty with Denmark π©π° in the 1950s that allows us to build bases there and keep some of our troops there. We don’t need to actually own Greenland π¬π± to improve our national security. I mean, the first movie was written and made before Trump really started ramping up the purchase and invasion talk. He talked about buying Greenland π¬π± in his first term, but not like how he is in his second term, and not like how he is after invading Venezuela π»πͺ and toppling its leader. So, the writers and filmmakers still had it in their minds that we would build these bunkers in Greenland π¬π± based on that treaty we signed with Denmark π©π°, and the already existing alliance we have with Denmark π©π° and the rest of NATO. No territorial acquisitions needed. So, these movies have became a lot more relevant, just not in the way that the filmmakers originally intended. Though, there was that news story from last year about the asteroid ☄️ that may hit the Earth π in the year 2032. Though, there is no actual guarantee that will hit, it may just pass us by like every supposed planet-killing asteroid ☄️ or comet that scientists have detected; more so asteroids ☄️ than comets. Remember Apophis? But, the likelihood of the asteroid ☄️ that’s arriving in 2032 actually hitting us is unusually high, alarmingly high for an asteroid ☄️ for that size.
Before I actually start talking about this movie, I know, I know, more preamble, just bear with me, I would just like to say that it felt good being able to go to the theater again. After a whole year of not seeing any movies in theaters, it felt really nice to actually see a movie in theaters. Nothing quite beats the experience of sitting down in an auditorium with those reclining seats, with your popcorn πΏ and drink, usually soda π₯€ but also water π¦ too, my grandma had water π¦ because she got sodaed out for that day, when we saw it, which was Saturday January 17, 2026, and then watching the movie on a big screen with surround sound speakers all around. That’s why you go to the theaters, and why the theaters are still a worthwhile way of seeing a movie, it’s the experience. It’s not something you can’t replicate at home, unless you were rich π€ and had a really good home theater setup. I’m not just talking a big flatscreen TV with some speakers and subwoofers, I’m talking those home theaters that actually look like actual movie theaters but way smaller and big enough to fit inside a house. Hence why they’re called home theaters.
And that’s why I don’t like Netflix as a company, and why I don’t want them to own Warner Bros., they are against the movie theater experience, they see movie theaters as their competition rather than another avenue to make money π΅, and they are determined to stomp it out, and with Netflix owning Warner Bros., arguably the crown jewel of all the old movie studios, the movie theater experience would disappear. It’s barely hanging on by a thread, but if Netflix is allowed to own Warner Bros., it will certainly die for sure, and every movie theater advocate in the industry is speaking out about it, or at least they were when this was still a hot topic. And after seeing this movie in theaters, I understand even more now why we should keep movie theaters alive, not let streaming services like Netflix (especially Netflix since their leadership is the most hostile towards movie theaters and physical media) kill it.
The only downside is the previews, or trailers if you prefer. There are so many previews, it’s almost like 30 or 40 minutes before your movie even starts. You have to sit through all those previews, and you already have to sit through a whole bunch of advertisements beforehand, before the previews even start. It’s overkill, and it’s the one aspect of the theater going experience that I’ve come to despise. It’s like you can show up 20 or 30 minutes late to your movies, when the showtimes say it’s about to start, and not miss anything because all that time is just previews. My grandma and I were talking about it, and we were saying that we could’ve just eaten at restaurant before we went to the theater. We ended up eating pizza π and hot dogs π (really just one hot dog π that we cut in half and shared between the two of us, but I ended up eating most it anyway because my grandma gets full right away) at Costco because it was close by to where we saw the movie at, Century Rio 24, which is the last remaining Cinemark theater in Albuquerque. All the other ones are either Regal theaters, Icon Cinema theaters, or Flix Brewhouse theaters. I’ve never been to a Flix Brewhouse theater before, I’d really like to check it out. Not to drink πΊ or anything, just to try the food because Flix Brewhouse serves other kinds of food besides just popcorn πΏ, pizza π, nachos, and other foods you’d come to expect from a movie theater. I heard they serve hamburgers π there, and I like hamburgers π.
And the reason why we chose to eat at Costco is because it was close by, and we thought we didn’t have enough time to eat before the movie started because we wanted to get our movie on time, and Costco was the quickest option. But, when we got out, we were saying to each other that we could’ve easily have eaten at a nicer sit down restaurant rather than just the Costco food court, which gets pretty packed and was pretty packed when we got there, because we still had to wait and sit through 20 or 30 minutes of previews before the movie you actually paid to see even starts. Even if we’re just a few minutes late, that’s fine, they’ll still be playing previews. So, next time, if we go see a movie, we’re going to take our time, and perhaps eat at a sit down restaurant, and then go to our movie, even were a few minutes late because we won’t actually miss anything, and if we time it right, we might actually get there when the movie actually starts and the previews stop.
I’m going to try to see more movies in theaters this year, but I won’t make any promises. It’s not like the previews they did show before the movie were that good. I wasn’t interested in watching any of the movies they showed previews for, except for maybe that Chris Hemsworth and Halle Berry crime thriller they showed a preview for, it was the first preview they showed, Crime 101 (2026), which is probably the most generic title for a crime thriller I’ve ever seen. But, Chris Hemsworth isn’t the only Marvel actor who’s in that movie, as it also stars Mark Ruffalo, and Nick Nolte, who was in Hulk (2003), which was pre-MCU but it still counts. It has Corey Hawkins, the actor who played the Operator in 6 Underground, the one who goes by the name, Seven AKA Blaine. He’s the one who replaces Dave Franco as the sixth member of the Ghosts, after Dave Franco’s character, Six AKA David (real creative name for him, Michael Bay π) dies at the beginning of the movie.
I’m sure the Internet π will have a lot to say about that romantic period drama starring Margot Robbie and the Kissing Booth π guy ♂︎, Jacob Elordi. Yes, I called him “the Kissing Booth π guy ♂︎” because I still know him best from the Kissing Booth π movies, I don’t care if people know him better from Euphoria and that he got famous off of Euphoria. He’s another of these actors who’s appearing in everything lately, though it’s not as obnoxious as Glen Powell. I haven’t quite got tired of him yet like I have Glen Powell. And he does take more unique roles than just the generic white leading man ♂︎ like Glen Powell always does. His true breakout role was in Top Gun: Maverick, and not only was he not the lead in that, but he was the asshole you weren’t supposed to like…at first.
Hangman kind of redeems himself at the end by saving both Maverick and Rooster π. He should play more asshole roles, he seems to pretty good at that, and I’m just saying that because I’m tired of him. I mean, he was in Twisters πͺ️ and he pretty much played the same character in that movie that he played in Top Gun: Maverick, or at least a very similar character to one he played in Top Gun: Maverick, and I really didn’t like Twisters πͺ️, I thought it was pretty disappointing. So, I don’t know π€·♂️. Even when he does play an asshole character, or a really douchey character, there’s no guarantee the movie itself is going to be good, which Twisters πͺ️ wasn’t in my opinion.
The reason why I say that the Internet π will have a lot to say about that movie that Jacob Elordi is in with Margot Robbie, Wuthering Heights (2026) is that it’s an older woman ♀︎ dating a younger man ♂︎. It’s about a will they/won’t they type romance ❤️ between an older woman ♀︎ and a younger man ♂︎. Margot Robbie is 35 years old, while Jacob Elordi is 28. I understand that 35 is not old, it’s still pretty young, and 28 isn’t that far away, but Margot Robbie is still older than Jacob Elordi by a significant amount of time. There’s a 7 year difference between the two. And the Internet π doesn’t seem to like relationships with significant age gaps in-between. I’m sure that when this movie comes out, in some corners of the Internet π, there will be conversations and debates over whether or not this relationship is appropriate or not. I’m sure the Internet π would have a lot more to say if it was a relationship between an older man ♂︎ and a younger woman ♀︎, because people on the Internet π tend to be more critical of age gap relationships if the older person in the relationship is a man ♂︎ and the younger person is a woman ♀︎.
People on the Internet π tend to assume the worst about older men ♂︎, and what their intentions are about dating younger women ♀︎ (they usually think that they’re just in it for the sex), and people on the Internet π tend to be protective of younger women ♀︎. A little overprotective if you ask me, almost to the point of infantilizing these younger women ♀︎. They may be on the younger side, but they are still women ♀︎, they are still adults, and they are more than capable of making their own decisions about who they date and don’t date. You can’t control people’s lives, and force them to make decisions that you want them to make, just because it makes you feel more comfortable. Especially since you’re just a person sitting in front a keyboard ⌨️, or holding a smartphone π± or tablet, and typing stuff on social media. I personally don’t care if there’s an age gap in a relationship. As long as they’re both legal adults, who are mature enough to know and understand the decisions that they’re making, and neither of them are underage, I’m perfectly fine with it. Go for it, I don’t care, it doesn’t affect me personally.
I think the novelty of watching trailers before a movie starts in a movie theater has kind of worn off because most trailers premiere on the Internet π first, before they ever get played in movie theaters. It used to be that the first time you ever saw a trailer for a movie was in theaters, during the preview section. That’s why the teaser trailer for Spider-Man (2002) was so effective because people didn’t know that it was a trailer for a Spider-Man movie at first because it starts out as a heist movie, an intense crime thriller with these armed robbers robbing a bank π¦ in New York City, and then flying away in a helicopter π. So, when the reveal comes, and the helicopter π gets caught in a web πΈ️ spun between the Twin Towers of the World Trade Center, and then you see a close-up shot of Spider-Man himself, that makes it even more sweet. It gets you more pumped because now you know it’s a Spider-Man movie. I would also say that’s what made the teaser trailer for Terminator Salvation so effective is that at first, you don’t know that it’s for a Terminator movie. You just think it’s for some other post-apocalyptic movie, until that music kicks in, and you’re like, “Oh my God, it’s a Terminator movie.” It’s probably the last time that anyone got genuinely excited for a new Terminator movie π. I used to like watching previews before movies in theaters, but now I don’t, and I’m willing to just skip them, and come a bit later, when the previews are done, and the movie actually begins.
January is kind of a weird month to release this. I know January’s kind of losing its reputation as being the month where studios release all their bad movies that they have no faith in, as more and more good or decent movies are getting released in January, but still. You’d think with a big disaster movie like this, that they’d release later on in the year, like at least until March or April. It probably would’ve been an ideal March or April release. But, it being released in January means that we didn’t have to wait as long for it to come out, and my grandma and I had something to watch in January that we could both enjoy. I know I just called Greenland 2 π¬π± a disaster movie, but it’s really not as much of a disaster movie as the first one was. I mean, it’s got disaster movie elements, but overall, it’s more of a survival thriller, since the whole plot is John Garrity (Gerard Butler’s character) is trying to get his family to the Clarke crater in southern France π«π· because the token black scientist π©π½π¬ in the movie thinks that crater has become habitable in the years after the comet hit, more habitable than the rest of the planet. And they keep running into different perils while on their journey, both natural and human. All while they meet different people on the away, some who come along with them and die, and some who they meet and just leave behind because they can’t or don’t want to go to the crater.
Like, the French family π«π· they meet towards the end of the film, the wife can’t go because she got crippled and bound to a wheelchair 𦽠due to radiation exposure ☢️, and is slowly dying. She even lost her ability to speak because of her radiation poisoning ☢️. So, she’s physically unable to make the trip down to the Clarke crater, and the husband doesn’t want to leave his wife, and wants to be with her and take care of her for as long as she has left to live. But, they make the Garritys take their daughter along, so that she can survive and have a life inside the crater, which is convenient because John’s son, Nathan develops a crush on the French guy π«π·♂︎’s daughter π. So, it really worked out for him that he gets to be with his crush π₯° in the new world after the apocalypse.
And yes, I did just call the black female scientist π©π½π¬ in the movie, “the token black female scientist π©π½π¬” because she really is. She even dies right away, before they even get close to the crater, when they’re still in the UK π¬π§ and before they’ve even crossed the English Channel. So, she didn’t get to survive. In fact, during their journey, while in they’re in the UK π¬π§, they meet another black person, a black man π¨πΎπ¦² who drives them in a van π some distance, until he gets killed by a meteor shower ☄️, or I guess, a comet shower? Fragments of the comet that are still floating around in Earth π’s orbit that fall back down to Earth π. Like, he got absolutely obliterated, nothing was left of his body. At least he died from the comet, kind of, the scientist π©π½π¬ died by getting shot in the head by a marauder.
So, this movie ain’t defying the stereotype, clichΓ©, or trope of the black people dying in the beginning or the middle and not making it to the end. At they didn’t die first, a bunch of white people did. Including that one asshole European guy ♂︎ who was always being pessimistic, and complaining about everything, and saying that they shouldn’t save anyone. It is a shame that the black scientist lady π©π½π¬ died, she was pretty hot π. I wish that she could’ve survived and made it out with them. Hopefully we’ll more of that actress that plays her in other stuff, Amber Rose Revah, she’s a British actress π¬π§, and her most notable besides this one was Dinah Madani the MCU Punisher series, simply called Marvel’s The Punisher, that was originally on Netflix and then was moved to Disney+. But I get it, they wanted to keep the focus squarely on the Garrity family, just like the first one. And they didn’t have any room for any other survivors, except for that teenage French girl π«π·♀︎ that they bring along with them at the behest of that nice French guy π«π·♂︎ and his dying wife, who Nathan develops a crush π as I just said. Nathan’s a teenager now, he’s got hormones coursing through his veins that making him crazy, and he’s at that age where he’s starting to like girls ♀︎.
I mean, the first time we see Nathan in this movie is him staring at a girl ♀︎ in class (inside the bunker). Don’t worry though, he wasn’t being creepy because the girl ♀︎ seemed to like it and was staring at him back. We never see that girl ♀︎ again after that, and it’s pretty safe to assume that she died, if not during the earthquake, than at some point during the journey down to the Clarke crater. The survivors that were inside the bunkers in Greenland π¬π± all got separated and scattered all over the place in the commotion of getting out of the bunkers after an earthquake hits and destroys them. Not all of them made it out, not all of survived the trip to the UK π¬π§ on those lifeboats, which they commandeered from a shipwreck, and somehow still have gas ⛽️ and power ⚡️ after 5 years, and not all of them had the same idea as John and just stayed in the UK π¬π§ when they got there.
But, don’t worry because Nathan still managed to score himself a girlfriend in the end, and he managed to score her without much effort. They start flirting with each other π as soon as they meet, and then in the next morning, they get told that she’s coming with them. So, she’s stuck with him either way. Hopefully Nathan didn’t screw it up once they got there. But, he seemed to be a little charmer, the ladies seemed to like him. He’s got the rizz as the kids these days would say, did I use that word right? I hope I did. Not really, I don’t care if I used the word “rizz” wrong or not. So, the black scientist lady π©π½π¬, and everyone who escaped with the Garritys out of the Greenland bunkers π¬π±, had to go. Only the French girl π«π·♀︎ gets to tag along with them, and survive. Plus, the scientist lady π©π½π¬’s only purpose in the movie was to give exposition and kick start the plot by suggesting they go to the Clarke crater because it’s more habitable than the rest of the planet π. BTW that French girl π«π·♀︎ that tags along with them and becomes Nathan’s girlfriend pretty much is named Camille, and not only is she Nathan’s love interest ❤️, but she does actually serve a useful purpose on the journey. She serves an interpreter, interpreting English into French and French into English. She’s a big part of the reason why they’re even able to get the crater because it’s being guarded by the French military π«π· as part of this military alliance called the Alliance, and they’re trying to protect it from insurgents. If she wasn’t with them, they would’ve turned away from the French soldiers π«π· the moment they met them. I do like that, I like that she actually contributes something and isn’t just another mouth to feed, and another person they need to look out for and protect.
Speaking of which, this movie is kind of a war movie too, because we have all these factions that emerged after the comet hit, fighting each other to try to survive in this post-apocalyptic wasteland, and then you have the French military π«π· and other European militaries that are apart of these vaguely named Alliance that are guarding the craters from some of these marauders and insurgents trying to take it over for their own good. They want it for themselves, rather than letting anyone in, which is the Alliance is also kind of doing. They’re guarding it, and only letting certain people in, and keeping it for themselves. But I get it, the crater’s the only safe haven that they know, the safe haven that they’ll have until the rest of the Earth π recovers from the comet impact, which may take thousands or millions of years, so best protect and let any of these assholes in and ruin it everybody. Just like how all those desperate, but stupid people (emphasis on stupid) who broke through the fence of that military base in the first movie ruined it for all those survivors who did get selected by the US government πΊπΈ to go into the bunkers in Greenland π¬π±, by blowing up all of their planes. Like, not only did you deprive those people a chance to escape, but you also deprived yourselves a chance to escape. A similar scene plays in this movie, when all the Greenland survivors π¬π± try to get on the lifeboats all at once, and end up capsizing a couple of them due to the weight of all those people on them.
So, there’s this whole war that’s going on while our main characters are trying to get to the crater, and presumably started sometime after Clarke hit. We even get a battle scene, complete with World War I or Ukraine war πΊπ¦-style trenches, though because the focus is so squarely on the Garrity family, we don’t get to see much of it. Just the parts the Garritys and Camille were there to witness. It’s kind of War of the Worlds in a lot of ways, or like Civil War πΊπΈ (2024), where even though it’s about a war and has “war” in the title, it focuses so narrowly on one character or one group of characters, and it is through their eyes π only that we witness this conflict, and because of that, we only get to see a small slice of this conflict. In fact, that battle scene is very Civil War πΊπΈ (2024), only it’s in France π«π·, and we see a less of it than we did in the battle scenes in Civil War πΊπΈ (2024), or the entire civil war for that matter. And this movie actually had a bigger budget than Civil War πΊπΈ (2024). Civil War πΊπΈ (2024) cost $50 million π΅, making it the most expensive movie that A24 had ever produced up until that point, while Greenland 2 π¬π± cost $90 million π΅. So, even it cost more than Civil War πΊπΈ (2024) it shows us a lot less of the battle scenes than that did because that’s not the focus. This movie is less focused on the actual war than Civil War πΊπΈ (2024) was.
I don’t know what the critical reception of this movie is. I haven’t actually seen that many critics talk about this movie online. The only that I know of that has is Jeremy Jahns, and judging by his facial expression on the thumbnail, the face he decided to put on the thumbnail, it didn’t seem like he was too enthusiastic about it. I was hoping Double Toasted π would do a video on it, especially since I learned that they reviewed the first movie, but alas no. The movie’s been out for two weeks now, so if they haven’t already done a video on it by now, then that means they’re probably not going to do a review of it at all. Instead, the movie they did a review of this week was the new Ben Affleck and Matt Damon crime thriller, The Rip on Netflix, which was actually directed by Joe Carnahan, who actually directed another movie last year, Shadow Force (2025), which I actually reviewed on this blog. That movie bombed at the box office π£ and got negative reviews from critics, which is probably why you’ve probably never heard of it. That, and the fact that Lionsgate did a piss poor job of actually advertising it. The marketing for Shadow Force (2025) was bad, and it was a not so insignificant factor in why it bombed π£. I also questioned whether or not it had to do with it having two black leads, and people being racist, that’s a whole other conversation. But I liked it, and that’s all that matters.
At least it got a theatrical release, unlike Carnahan’s new movie for this year, The Rip, which got released straight-to-streaming on Netflix and looks like it was made on a way lower budget than Shadow Force (2025) was, even though it was made a higher budget than Shadow Force (2025). Shadow Force (2025) was made on a budget of $50 million π΅, whereas The Rip was made on a budget of $100 million π΅. How is that even possible π§? It looks way cheaper than Shadow Force (2025) did, even though it had half the budget. They probably spent most of the money π΅ getting the actors, because besides Ben Affleck and Matt Damon, the movie has a pretty stacked cast. You also got Steven Yeun, Teyana Taylor, Sasha Calle, Catalina Sandino Moreno, Kyle Chandler, NΓ©stor Carbonell (who’s once again playing a mayor, what is it with this guy ♂︎ and always playing mayors in movies?), and even Scott Adkins. You would think this would be a set up for Scott Adkins, considering he’s in a more mainstream movie with much more famous actors than he usually works with, but it’s really not since this is a streaming movie, it’s not getting a theatrical release. So, it’s still kind of his wheelhouse. Scott Adkins has never been able to escape the direct-to-video realm and break into big theatrical movies, especially as the lead. Every mainstream movie he’s done, he’s never been the lead. He’s always either been a supporting player, or he’s the villain, or one of the villains. And this movie, The Rip seems to be no different. It seems like Scott Adkins has just moved from making direct-to-video movies to making straight-to-streaming movies. It’s really more of a step down than anything π€·♂️.
And to make it worse, he doesn’t even do any fighting in this movie from what I heard. Scott Adkins is a highly skilled martial artists, that’s mainly why people cast him, for his martial arts skills. The dude ♂︎ knows how to fight, and make it look good. Joe Carnahan had some nerve casting him in The Rip, and not having him fight at all. He doesn’t even participate in the action it seems like, the way the reviews make it seem. I kind of lost in seeing The Rip once I learned that Scott Adkins was in it and they didn’t even have him do any fighting or cool action stuff. I’m not against him doing more “dramatic” roles, if he wants to do that, that’s his right, but come on, you didn’t even cast him as the lead. He’s still playing a nothing supporting character that people won’t remember or recognize. People won’t even know who he is, this isn’t the role that will make him more well known to people outside of the action community and the martial arts community. Even when he was in John Wick: Chapter 4, he was wearing a fat suit and under a ton of makeup, and he was doing an accent (don’t know what kind, but it definitely wasn’t German π©πͺ), so couldn’t even recognize him, and people didn’t already know his name or who know he was, didn’t care to find out.
Everyone seemed to just want to review Primate, the creature feature about a killer chimpanzee that I mentioned in my 2025 New Year’s Eve Message, including Double Toasted π themselves. If you haven’t heard of Primate until now, and you haven’t seen it, basically, it’s about this family lives in Hawai‘i that own a pet chimp, and one day, when the teenage girl ♀︎ of the family invites her friends over and has a party π₯³, that chimp gets rabies and starts picking them off one by one. It’s pretty just Cujo, only instead of it being about a rabid dog π (a rabid St. Bernard to be more specific), it’s about a rabid chimp, and instead of it taking place in Castle Rock, Maine, the fictional town where nearly all Stephen King’s books π take place (at least the novel does, I don’t know about the 1983 movie), it takes place in Hawai‘i. Which island or which city in Hawai‘i, I have no idea, the Wikipedia page on the movie doesn’t say, so I’m going to assume that the movie doesn’t say.
And apparently it’s the fourth highest grossing movie of 2026 so far, based on a worldwide gross of $25 million π΅ (so far) π? Come on guys, the year’s barely even started, don’t you think it’s a little early to be saying which movies are the highest grossing of 2026 π? It’s one of those movies that originally premiered at a film festival, the film festival in this case being Fantastic Fest, and then got a wide release a few months, or even a year later. So, even though it got a wide release this year, and it’s currently the fourth highest grossing movie of 2026, it’s still considered a 2025 movie. I know π, it’s stupid, but I don’t decide these things. In my mind, Primate will always be a 2026 movie, I don’t care if it premiered at Fantastic Fest the year before. Most people didn’t attend Fantastic Fest, including myself π€·♂️.
I don’t have much interest in watching Primate, despite it being a creature feature and despite me being a sucker for those kinds of movies. I’d much rather watch Killer Whale (2026) or Grizzly Night if I were to watch a creature feature released in the month of January. The reviews that I’ve seen have only made me less enthused. This movie so far has received pretty mixed reviews. The Wikipedia page is lying when it said it received “generally positive reviews,” it’s more accurate to say it received “mixed reviews,” or even “mixed to positive reviews” if you really want to push it. I don’t know how this movie got a 92% on Rotten Tomatoes π
prior to its wide release in theaters. The reviews that percentage was based on all had to have been from critics who saw the movie at Fantastic Fest, and were overinflating its quality, and overhyping it up prior to its wide release. Rotten Tomatoes π
is a review aggregate website, and those scores are based on the number of the reviews for that movie. The fact that it was at 92% initially means that all reviews of it up until then were positive. The percentage has dropped down to 79% since its wide release in theaters, so that’s more like it. That’s more believable given how some of the reviews of the movie have been negative. Nearly all the ones that I’ve seen have been negative, and the ones that were positive just said it was okay, it was average, or barely below average. There are quite a few people out there who didn’t like Primate, and think it’s overhyped.
I’m not interested in seeing it because it is so similar to Cujo. They pretty much just ripped off Cujo, but swapped it out with a different animal and a different location. It’s even similar to Cujo down to the fact that the characters trapped in a single location, and can’t leave otherwise the creature will kill them. In Cujo, it was a broken down Ford Pinto, and in Primate, it’s a swimming pool π♀️ π. So, it’s not just a ripoff of Cujo, it’s also a ripoff of Night Swim π♀️ as well, that dumb horror movie from 2024 about a haunted swimming pool π♀️ π€¦♂️. I don’t need to explain why the idea of a haunted swimming pool π♀️ is stupid, and not scary at all. It’s a swimming pool π♀️, you can just leave. It’s not like being stuck in a haunted house π️. There are just no stakes at all when the haunted place is a swimming pool π♀️. And a creature feature where the characters are stuck in a swimming pool π♀️ and can’t leave because a rabid animal will kill them is not very exciting or tense π¬. In fact, from the reviews that I saw, the part where they’re in the swimming pool π♀️ is where the movie really slows down and loses any momentum it had in the first half. There’s none of those gory kills that people were raving about, and seem to be the only reason to even watch this movie. You’re not exactly biting your nails wondering if the characters are going to live or die.
Even the rabies don’t play a role in why the characters choose to shelter inside of a swimming pool π♀️, they don’t do it because rabies makes you hydrophobic, it’s because chimps can’t swim π€¦♂️. Once I heard that the movie was about a rabid chimp, I already kind of lost interest, like “really? Really? You’re doing rabies? That’s your explanation for why the chimp is going around killing people?” You don’t need rabies to explain why a pet chimp would go crazy and kill its owners. None of the recorded cases of pet chimps killing their owners or killing other people who happen to get in their way involved rabies. The chimps that went rogue did so because of stress and trauma due to abuse that was inflicted upon them by their often negligent owners.
But, I’m guessing that they went with the rabies routes to not make the main characters, the family that owns the chimp, unlikable assholes. They still kind of wanted the audience to like them and root for them when the chimp starts killing them, even though the characters are already pretty unlikable anyway from what I heard. So, the rabies thing was already kind of a waste. It seems like they put more effort into researching chimps and what they can do, how strong they are, and what they’re capable of. Chimps are pretty brutal animals, like when they attack a person, they’ll literally rip their face off. They’ll rip the nose π, or the ears π off. Even in the wild, when they predate (usually on monkeys π), they kill their prey by literally ripping them apart, often limb from limb. Getting mauled by a chimp is just as bad as getting mauled by a bear π», if not worse.
They got that aspect right by having the chimp literally rip someone’s face off (he literally peels the skin off a person’s face, and faces the fleshy skull π exposed), but they didn’t get the rabies right. This movie is pretty inaccurate when it comes to its depiction of rabies from what I’ve heard. Like I said, it’s just to explain why the chimp goes crazy and starts killing people, and it’s to absolve the family of any responsibility for why the chimp goes crazy and starts killing people. Even though chimps don’t need rabies to start killing people and most chimp owners (people who owned chimps as pets) are not innocent. The other thing that made me lose interest is the fact that it was directed by the same guy ♂︎ as Resident Evil: Welcome to Raccoon City π. You expect me to believe that the guy ♂︎ who directed that, somehow directed a decent, worthwhile product? Get out of here π.
I’m just surprised that The Asylum hasn’t made a mockbuster of Primate yet. You’d think they would given how sort of popular and viral it is, or was. Maybe they will make one, and maybe they’ll call it something like, Killer Primate, and if they do, I won’t be surprised in the slight. This is The Asylum we’re talking about, making cheap knockoffs of popular movies is what they do. It used to be the only thing they did, until they started making more original movies, arguably starting with Mega Shark Versus Giant Octopus π¦π. Primate seems to be in their wheelhouse. They do churn out these movies pretty quickly, so they’ll be ready for when the real movie comes out, so that they can trick people into buying their movie instead of the real thing. That’s The Asylum’s whole business model pretty much, or at least, it was when they only made exclusively mockbusters, but now that they make more original stuff in addition to mockbusters, it’s only half their business model. I mean, they cranked out the Anaconda mockbuster they made, The Anacondas pretty quickly. Like they announced it and released the trailer for it just barely after Anaconda (2025) came out. So, if they could make an Anaconda mockbuster pretty quickly, then I’m sure they could make a Primate mockbuster pretty quickly too.
If they do, I really hope that they call it Killer Primate, it really does sound like a title that they would come up to legally distinguish their movie from the real thing and it’s perfect. I mean, they barely even tried with The Anacondas, just barely enough to distinguish it from the real movie and to avoid legal action. Though, the fact that they did call their Anaconda mockbuster, The Anacondas does make me think that the filmmakers behind Anaconda (2025) missed a huge opportunity to call the movie, The Anaconda. It’s literally right there in the movie itself, The Anaconda is the title of the movie-within-a-movie that the characters are trying to make, and it’s sort of a clever dig at how studios title sequels, legacy or otherwise. They’ll either make the title plural like say, Aliens, or they’ll put a “the” in front of the singular like say, The Suicide Squad (2021).
Predator did both of those by having a movie called Predators and a movie called The Predator, and they were back to back. I mean, not literally, those movies were made 8 years apart, but you know what I mean, one directly follows the other. The Predator is the next movie after Predators. Anaconda already did the whole “make the title plural for the sequel” thing with Anacondas: The Hunt for the Blood Orchid, and then again with the fourth film, Anacondas: Trail of Blood π©Έ. So, why not complete the circle by having an Anaconda movie called The Anaconda? They could’ve bested The Asylum to the punch, and then sued them if they still ended up titling their movie, The Anacondas. Just like what happened to them when they made a mockbuster of the 2008 Day the Earth Stood Still π remake, and called it, The Day the Earth Stopped π.
As far as what I think of this movie, Greenland 2 π¬π±, I liked it, I thought it was really good. I liked it just as much as the first one. It has an interesting concept, showing what happens after an asteroid ☄️ or comet hits, and how humanity adapts to such a radically changed world. Pretty much the entire world has been destroyed, Europe is in ruins, it looks like how it did after World War II, if not worse, and large parts of the world are underwater because of the tsunamis π caused by the comet’s impact. There’s radiation ☢️ in the air, radioactive storms ☢️⛈️, and there are even earthquakes. I had to look it up to see if asteroid or comet impacts could actually cause earthquakes, because it didn’t make sense to me, “how could a comet cause earthquakes?” And apparently, they can cause earthquakes if one actually hits, and it’s like the size of Mt. Everest or bigger. The Clarke comet in these movie is bigger than Mt. Everest, so yeah, when it hit, it caused earthquakes. But, that seems like something that happened during impact, my question is, would there still earthquakes 5 years after the impact? And of course, there’s still debris, there’s still fragments of the comet in Earth π’s orbit, and still fall back down to Earth π, causing huge damage. They even formed a mini ring, or a pseudo ring, I don’t remember exactly what they called (it’s been a few days since I’ve actually seen this movie), around the Earth π.
Most other asteroid ☄️ or comet movies never explored this aspect of an asteroid or comet apocalypse ☄️, and I never thought Greenland π¬π± (2020) would, and that they’d actually make a sequel to it. But, I’m glad they did because this is fascinating stuff. It’s sort of like if they made a sequel to Deep Impact, this is probably what it would be like, it would’ve been about the aftermath of the Beiderman comet impact. Although, since the comet hit in the Atlantic Ocean and the only parts of the world affected by it were the East Coast of the United States πΊπΈ, Europe, and West Africa, and Europe and West Africa by far got the worst of it, it would have to be a Euro or even Afrocentric story.
And Paramount wouldn’t willing to do that because it’s an American film πΊπΈ, it’s catered mostly for Americans πΊπΈ, and they wanted to keep the focus on Americans πΊπΈ. I mean, that’s why Deep Impact, focused exclusively on America πΊπΈ and Americans πΊπΈ, and didn’t mention anything about the rest of the world, and how they were dealing with the situation. People complained about Independence Day and even Deep Impact’s own competition, Armageddon ☄️ being to Americentric πΊπΈ, but Deep Impact is very much the same. It still focused entirely on America πΊπΈ, and didn’t focus at all on the rest of the world. And yet, Deep Impact was the one that got the pass? Just because it was a bit more scientifically accurate than Armageddon ☄️?
Greenland 2 π¬π± was only able to get away with being set in Europe, and focusing on how the comet impact affected Europe is that we’re still seeing through the eyes of Americans πΊπΈ, and one of them, John Garrity is Scottish π΄σ §σ ’σ ³σ £σ ΄σ Ώ, so he has a connection to this part of the world. There’s even this British lady π¬π§♀︎ they meet in London, who runs a nursing home, and is using it as her shelter from the end of the world, and John and Allison seem to know she is, but I don’t know how. I still don’t understand what her relation to them even is. Is she John’s mother? Is she a relative of his? Is she just a friend? I don’t know, and the movie never clarifies. This isn’t just me not remembering certain things, the movie really doesn’t say what the British old lady π¬π§♀︎’s relationship to the Garritys is. They just know her, and we’re just supposed to go along with it.
In fact, the fact that this movie and the first one focus so narrowly on this one family and their experience with the comet impact and the ensuing apocalypse, or post-apocalypse in this movie’s case, sets it apart from those other asteroid ☄️ or comet movies. All the other ones tried to tell these huge sprawling stories with multiple characters, and subplots focused on each one. Deep Impact kept switching perspectives between TΓ©a Leone’s character, Elijah Woods’s character, the president (who’s of course played brilliantly by Morgan Freeman), the astronauts π¨ππ©π in space who were sent to destroy the comet, which started out as one big comet called Wolf-Beiderman, and then gets split into two comets, Wolf and Beiderman, due to the astronauts π¨ππ©π fumbling the job the first time.
Armageddon ☄️ also narrowly focused on one group of characters, but the difference between it and the Greenland π¬π± films is that there a lot more characters in Armageddon ☄️, and it’s almost like a buddy film or I guess a team movie, where these guys ♂︎ are assembled together into a team to stop the asteroid ☄️, which is named Dottie, after a guy ♂︎’s bitch wife, and the entire first half is sort of like The Right Stuff or Space Cowboys, where it focuses on them training to go on the mission. And then the second half is a bit more like Apollo 13 where they’re on the mission, and they’re mostly dealing with technical problems as they try to get to the asteroid ☄️ and then when they’re on the asteroid ☄️ and are trying to drill into it to play the bomb into to blow it up π₯.
The other difference of course is that in Armageddon ☄️, they actually manage to prevent the asteroid ☄️ from hitting the Earth π, by blowing it up from the inside using a nuke ☢️, and then splitting it in half before it hits Zero Barrier, and missing the Earth π by 200 miles, with most of the small particles vaporizing in the explosion π₯. Even in Deep Impact, while they’re unable to stop the smaller comet, Beiderman from hitting the Earth π, in the Atlantic Ocean and thus destroying the Eastern United States πΊπΈ, most of Europe, and West Africa with massive megatsunamis, they still managed to destroy the way larger comet, Wolf, which would have ended human civilization as we know it and caused a mass extinction the likes we have not seen since the K–Pg extinction (the extinction of the dinosaurs) if it had actually hit. In both movies, humanity has some victory over the asteroid ☄️ and comet (in Deep Impact’s case), even if they still caused a lot of destruction and killed a lot of people. It is as if humanity conquered nature. Humans were the first species with the ability to prevent their own extinction, that was the theme of both movies.
Whereas in Greenland π¬π± (2020), there was no stopping the comet. It was going to hit, and it did, and it pretty much destroyed the world, and ended human civilization as it existed before the comet hit. What is left of humanity is barely hanging on by a thread, and now everything is lawless and chaotic. Everyone’s just in it for themselves, every person for themselves. The best you could do is find shelter, like a bunker, and just wait it out, and living inside those bunkers seems like living in COVID lockdown π¦ or COVID isolation π¦ times a million. At least, you still get to somewhat interact with other human beings, and there are things to, but still, it’d be pretty easy to get stir crazy inside of those things as this movie shows. Even then, there’s no guarantee you’re chosen shelter (including the bunkers in Greenland π¬π±) will last forever due to dwindling resources and supplies, and due to the weather and earthquake activity. And also radiation ☢️, radiation ☢️ is a huge problem that survivors of the Clarke impact have to deal with, and many of them get radiation sickness ☢️, including our main character, John.
Which is something I do respect about this movie, that they were willing to kill off the main character, even though he’s played by Gerard Butler. Most other movies would’ve had them all survive until the end, but not this movie. Not only does he die, but he doesn’t even die from radiation sickness ☢️. He dies from a gunshot he got while killing the insurgents that commandeered their bus π that they were using to get to the crater. It’s a good way of showing that this is a brutal future world, this post-apocalyptic world isn’t pretty, and not everyone will survive it, including our main characters. It also raises the stakes a bit because anyone can die in this movie. You know, plot armor won’t save them, even the Garritys do have some plot armor at several points during the film, and during the first film as well.
At least they gave him a proper send off. They were respectful, and gave him a rather dignified death. He succeeded in his mission, his only goal throughout this whole movie, which was to get his family to the Clarke crater, which is the only safe haven on Earth π. He got to die knowing that his family will survive, and will be able to start a new life in this new paradise on Earth π. This real-life Garden of Eden, or Valhalla, or Elysium, or even Shangri-La. The crater looked the most like Shangri-La, the way it’s often described. It also reminds me of that place the dinosaurs go to in the movie, Dinosaur (2000), the place that had a “pool π♂️.” If you understand what I’ve referring to with that reference, you’re a real one π. Or it looks like the inside of those O’Neill cylinder ships from Interstellar.
One thing that I do like about both Greenland π¬π± films is that they both do a good job at showing that if an asteroid ☄️ or comet big enough to destroy the world and cause a mass extinction like the one that killed the dinosaurs, were to hit, people would just become the worst versions of themselves. Some would become the best versions of themselves, and both movies do show that, but most would become the worst versions of themselves in their desperation to survive. Willing to steal and kill other people just for a sliver of a chance to survive. If Greenland π¬π± (2020) was about society breaking down with the knowledge that the world is about to end, then Greenland 2 π¬π± is about society after it has broken down and the world has ended. Humans are just as much of a threat as the comet itself and the natural disasters that it causes, and that is more so the case with this movie because people are just straight up shooting each other with guns, sniping people from a distance, and even going to war with each other. Greenland 2 π¬π± shows that whatever humans were left after an asteroid ☄️ or comet impact would just keep doing what humans always do, except unrestrained by things like laws, or rules, or other artificial man made constructs like borders. You know, the survivors of the Clarke impact are literally going to war with each other, killing each other, more people are dying from senseless violence. And they’re fighting over the crater created by the very comet that put them in that position, that ended the world.
Movies like Independence Day, and even Deep Impact and Armageddon ☄️ tried to present the idea of humanity coming together to stop a greater threat, to save the species and the entire planet π. Like, the filmmakers genuinely believed that if push came to shove, humanity would put aside their differences and join force to combat a greater threat, whether it be aliens π½, or an asteroid ☄️, or a comet. But, as we’ve seen in real life and as these movies show, nah, humanity wouldn’t come together for shit. And if they did, it would only be a temporary alliance before they all just started fighting each other. Kind of like what we saw after World War II, with the Allied Powers, and even more specifically in China πΉπΌ, with the Nationalists and the Communists ☭. They worked together during the war to stop a greater threat, the Axis Powers (or more specifically, the Japanese π―π΅ in the case of the Second Sino-Japanese War πΉπΌπ―π΅), and then after the war, after the Axis Powers were defeated, the Allies turned on each other, and that’s how you got the Cold War, and the continuation of the Chinese Civil War π¨π³πΉπΌ in the case of China π¨π³. Me using the different flags in each sentence was on purpose since the Republic of China moved to Taiwan πΉπΌ, while the Communists ☭ established the People’s Republic of China π¨π³ on the mainland, after they defeated the Nationalists in the civil war.
But, even with as bleak and depressing these movie, and how pessimistic it’s outlook on humanity is, there is still a little bit of hope. There is still a hint of optimism, at least for our main characters. In the first movie, it was just them making it to the bunkers before the comet hit, and in this movie, it’s them making it to the crater despite the odds stacked against them, and despite all the trials and tribulations they had to go through to get there. By the end of this movie, there is still a hope that they will make it, that they won’t just survive, but thrive. And there is still a hope that even if the old world was destroyed, that a new and better one can be created from the ashes. Though, given how most of humanity is presented in these movies, that doesn’t seem likely. A new world will certainly be created from the ashes, but will it be a better one? Eh, I don’t really think so. I hope so, but I don’t think so. Even if things are going good for some people, someone will eventually come and ruin it all for all of them. Humanity will just revert back to its old bad habits, and it already has, as this movie shows. So, these movies are a lot more hopeful than you might think, even how dark and serious they are.
I do also like how this movie showed how the comet changed the environment of the world. I already mentioned the radiation ☢️, the storms ⛈️, the earthquakes, the debris, and the little ring around Earth π’s orbit made up of fragments of the comet, but I didn’t mention the draining oceans. There’s a part in the middle of the movie, where the Garritys drive down to the English Channel so that they can cross it to get to France π«π·, but once they reach the coast, they find that the entire English Channel has been drained out. There is no water π¦ left, and the entire English Channel is now above water π¦ on dry land. It’s basically like a desert now with sand dunes, and gravel that they can drive across, but there is a cavern or crevasse that they have to cross on the flimsiest bridge imaginable.
I’m guessing the English Channel got like that, and all the water π¦ drained out of it due to the megatsunamis that the comet caused when it impacted Earth π, and due to the continents starting shifting (which I guess is something asteroids ☄️ or comets can do if they’re big enough π€·♂️). I’m guessing the same thing probably happened to the Mediterranean Sea as well since the comet hit somewhere around southern France π«π·, so all the water π¦ in that sea is probably gone, there is nothing left. It’s just dry land now. Atlantropa basically became real, except it’s the entire Mediterranean, and not just parts of it. Once again, nature surpassed what humans could dream of.
The one thing this movie didn’t touch on was all the mass extinctions that this comet caused. All the animals that were near extinction, or were endangered or critically endangered, or even just threatened are probably all extinct now as a result of this comet hitting the Earth π. But, that was probably too depressing even for these movies, and too far outside the scope of what they wanted to focus on, which is the Garrity family and their struggle to survive. There is a lot of irony in the fact that the crater of the comet that destroyed the world, killed off a significant portion of the human race, and wiped out several plant and animal species, has sprung tons of life, and has caused a bit of a rejuvenation inside of its walls, and is now the safest place on Earth π, the place where you’d want to be survive in this new world created by the comet impact. That wasn’t lost on the filmmakers, and the irony was kind of the point. It’s also based on this idea that while asteroids ☄️ and comets can destroy life, they can also create new life, and create new opportunities for life that didn’t exist before and wouldn’t have existed at all if the asteroid ☄️ or comet hadn’t hit, and a bit of rejuvenation happens.
While the asteroid ☄️ that hit during the K–Pg extinction killed the dinosaurs and 75% of all life on Earth π at the time, it did open the door for mammals to evolve into the various species that exist today, filling the niches that were left vacant by the dinosaurs’ extinction. And what reptiles were small and/or resilient enough persisted to this day, as well as fish and other sea creatures that were protected from the worst effects of the impact from the safety of the oceans. We humans wouldn’t have existed at all if it weren’t that asteroid ☄️ hitting the Earth π 66 million years ago, and wiping out the dinosaurs. That’s the kind of the movie’s argument for why the crater is so habitable, and why it makes sense, scientifically and even thematically. Though, that’s up for real scientists π¨π¬π©π¬ to decide how scientifically accurate this movie is, and whether it’s suggestion that the impact would become the most habitable place and lead to a rejuvenation of life inside is based in reality or not. I mean, the first one was fairly scientifically accurate from what I heard, so I’m sure this one is no different. I’d be surprised if it was less scientifically accurate than its predecessor. I mean, these movies both feel the most realistic, like I watched them, and I felt like if an asteroid ☄️ or comet did hit, this is how it would happen, and this how humanity would react to it. Poorly in most cases, but that’s humanity for you.
But, regardless, I am glad that my first theater experience in over a year was a positive one, and that I actually enjoyed the movie that I saw. I doubt I would’ve had the same experience had I saw Anaconda (2025) or Primate instead π. I did think it was funny however that one of the production companies responsible for making this movie, as well as the first one, is called Thunder Road. Why is it funny to me? Because one of the restaurants inside the Route 66 Casino Hotel in the Laguna Reservation is called Thunder Road. So, I could help but smile π and be assumed by the fact that one of the production companies behind these movies is called Thunder Road. You probably wouldn’t get it unless you’re from the Laguna or Acoma tribe, or you lived in New Mexico for any significant amount of time. If you just traveled through New Mexico, and hit this particular casino π° during your travels, it still probably wouldn’t click with you because you weren’t there long enough for to it make a lasting impression and for you to remember the name of that particular restaurant.
Oh, and the movie’s only 98 minutes, or 1 hour and 38 minutes, which is good. This movie runs at a good length, and doesn’t overstay its welcome. I was full expecting this movie to be 2 hours or more, and I was genuinely shocked when I found out that it was only 98 minutes, the same length as WALL•E and Burn After Reading π₯. It felt a lot longer than it was, in a good way. It’s way shorter than the first movie, which runs at 119 minutes, or 1 hour and 59 minutes, just barely below 2 hours, and it’s way shorter than either Deep Impact or Armageddon ☄️, run at 121 minutes, or 2 hours and 1 minute, and 150 minutes, or 2 hours and 30 minutes respectively. So, if you base your decision to watch a movie based on how long it is, then don’t worry because this movie isn’t very long and actually pretty short, as far as disaster movies go. Though like I said, this one’s really more of a survival thriller than a disaster movie like the first one.
Another thing that I noticed is that even though the movie’s officially called Greenland 2: Migration π¬π±, in the movie itself, it’s just called Greenland: Migration π¬π±. I wonder why the change, why add the “2” in the title? Did they think people would get confused and wouldn’t know it was a sequel unless they added that “2” to it? Did they think Greenland 2: Migration π¬π± rolled off the tongue π
better than Greenland: Migration π¬π±, and if so, why didn’t they add the “2” in the actual movie? I guess they could always add it in later for the home media release, whether it’s streaming or physical media. It wouldn’t be the first time a movie was edited or altered before its home release, and it’s not just Star Wars, I know that’s probably what you’re thinking of. And it wouldn’t even be a big change either, all they’d have to do is put a “2” in the title in the opening title sequence, and then be done with it.
(This is the teaser poster for Greenland 2: Migration π¬π±.)
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